[Achy Turtle Armor]

Originally Posted by misskeena

when transference is happening, it is no longer a therapeutic relationship

Anyway, my point is, do you think maybe it may be more beneficial to you in the long run (though you may feel terribly about it) for you to seek out another T? I hate to see that this is causing you pain, and we tend to only put out fires when it comes to our emotional wellbeing. What is the best thing for you long-term?

I disagree. I think you'd find that most professionals would also disagree. There's therapeutic value in transference. Also, leaving has been discussed between us so many times. The last time I told him what others, who are uninformed, have said his response was "if I was feeding your neurosis then I would agree that a change is necessary but the fact is I'm the perfect person to see you through this and you will get through this. You have just regressed because of your divorce. This all needed to happen though so we can deal with this new bag of crap."

I appreciate your thoughts.

Originally Posted by Achy Turtle Armor

I disagree. I think you'd find that most professionals would also disagree. There's therapeutic value in transference. Also, leaving has been discussed between us so many times. The last time I told him what others, who are uninformed, have said his response was "if I was feeding your neurosis then I would agree that a change is necessary but the fact is I'm the perfect person to see you through this and you will get through this. You have just regressed because of your divorce. This all needed to happen though so we can deal with this new bag of crap."

I appreciate your thoughts.

I don't know your full story, for sure. I just feel for you that this seems to be so upsetting. I'm sorry if I wasn't helpful, I was mainly trying to understand better. I do hope that you are doing okay/better/are getting to the point where you will be okay, in any case.

Also, you're right, transference can be therapeutic. And sometimes it's not, it just depends on the circumstances.

[Achy Turtle Armor]

Originally Posted by misskeena

I don't know your full story, for sure. I just feel for you that this seems to be so upsetting. I'm sorry if I wasn't helpful, I was mainly trying to understand better. I do hope that you are doing okay/better/are getting to the point where you will be okay, in any case.

Also, you're right, transference can be therapeutic. And sometimes it's not, it just depends on the circumstances.

I am feeling better today. I talked to my sister about it. She tries so hard to understand my insanity. I really do appreciate your thoughts too. I'm way too defensive about my T and my therapy. There is a friend at work who keeps saying that I need a new T which prompted the last discussion we had.

I know that I can go back to monthly again but the idea of it at the moment just makes me cry and feel stranded. There was a time when I was doing so well that I saw him only every 3 months. I don't see that happening anytime soon.

One more thing I would like to mention, he has offered to help me find a T that is on my insurance but I don't want to do that. When I first started with him I had a lot of money, no insurance, and no job. Now I have no money (another sister stole $180K), a job for 10 years, and insurance.

Thanks again for your concern.

[Achy Turtle Armor]

So I've not been doing well but I tried to pick myself up this morning. I slept in until the girls (my dogs) couldn't wait any longer, about 10am. After some cereal I sat down and worked on a budget. I don't make much money even though I am a receiving manager. I have about $1600 I must pay by the end of the month. About ¾ of my pay. I decided that I must tell my T that I am cutting back to monthly so I can save $150 a month. I would be foolish and irresponsible if I didn't. He would say that it is the perfect time. Everything is at the perfect time.

I've also figured out a way to eat really cheap though I know that I will struggle to stick to my plan. I have to try. I can really do anything I want, within reason, if l just try and take it day by day.

I know that I still have a lot of mourning to do over this but he tells me that it won't kill me. I swore I was dying last night but I'm still here.

[Bubbles&Buttercup]

I need to try to find a therapist, and maybe somewhere that does DBT, but I'm so poor and I'm worried I'll get worse and have to stop studying while I fall apart.

I feel lonely today. I have people in my life, but no one with whom I feel I have a lot in common or a kind of kinship with, you know? I've talked about this before and know that there are people in my town with whom I have things in common (though they kind of hang out in their own little hipster, artsy community) but I think, no matter what, I'll always feel a sort of disconnect with others and that's just part of the MI. And it feels a little lonely to know this.

I also feel anxious, and I don't know what the source of the anxiety is. I think maybe I just don't want to work tonight and tomorrow and, in my kind of "down" state, it's translating to anxiety over having to get dressed and leave the sanctuary of my house.

[jeremiahgirl]

Tired! Also in pain in my body from RA (joints).

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[Verity81]

Argument over the kettle this morning then me leaving milk in my cereal bowl has led to hubby storming out!? I thought I was the borderline one? hopefully he'll feel calmer later and we can talk about it.

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[Verity81]

So he comes back not calmed down to shout even more and saying I don't think about the family, no? So who washes and irons your kids clothes every weekend and cooks all day yesterday for everyone, inlaws and all? Who has been taking the kids to School Mondays cos your course started early? Funny that a step mother gets shouted at the day after Mother's Day!? Well at least I got a cuddle n kiss off the kids this morning. He can ***** off!

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[Britneigh]

I need some pony time.

My boss texted me and they need my room so I have to find an apartment and car. It was alright because I was planning on talking to her about moving out but her saying it kind of caused me to break down and panic because it all felt too much. Anyway, they're being awesome and helping me out rent wise and find a car and all that and once I find said vehicle she's going to look into putting it under her insurance to keep it cheaper for me. It's just stressful since I'll be on a budget which is normal from people, but I'm awful with money. I'm worried about not finding a pet friendly apartment...because I'd like to adopt a dog so I'm not all by myself all the time. I was all stressed about it all and like verge of meltdown but last night the one horse went into labour and had her baby which was a surprise since she didn't show any signs. But it was a big healthy baby and she's alright and loves it so all is well.

[jeremiahgirl]

Sleepy and uneasy about therapy today.

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[Bubbles&Buttercup]

Had my cortisone injection into my shoulder today, getting pretty sore now.
Should be going back to Tafe tomorrow, but I don't want to.

I've hated being injured and being stuck at home, but at least I didn't have to go try to learn and study and be around lots of people.
It's my birthday in less than a week, and as usual my mood is deteriorating fast leading up to it.

[HD7970GHZ]

Today I would normally see my therapist but she abandoned me. Mondays always sucked but now they suck even more.

[Espresso]

I'm lonely. That's pretty much all there is to it. I feel like I'm alone on a raft floating in the middle of the ocean with no land in sight.

Another day of binging on bad food, but I know tomorrow will be better !

Practicing self-compassion (forgiving myself for eating poorly) and resilience (bouncing back tomorrow).

[Angelique67]

I just get no relief from this anxiety. I never should have been forced off Klonopin.

[Britneigh]

So much to do. No desire to do any of it.

Trying to practice good self-care: trying to get enough sleep, maybe exercise (or at least go for a walk sometimes), eat decently, not drink alcohol every time I get home from a crazy day at work, and speak kindly to myself. Not doing well so far...got to bed really late last night then couldn't sleep, skipped the gym with my classmate (because I skipped class to sleep in)... I'll continue to try to do better.

[Bubbles&Buttercup]

Feeling **** physically and emotionally.
My aunty is making me feel awful to make herself feel better, super unlike her and really making me struggle.
Hiding in my room.
Can't even go out for a drive because my shoulder is still too sore to move enough.

I'm barely hanging on. Wrote a few threads, but they're being ignored--it's fine; I know other people have their stuff too, but PC is literally my last resort and it kind of hurts. Don't have my first appointment with my new T until next Tuesday, and I'm not really sure what that will help...can she fix it so I'm not lonely? Nope. And that's all I want: to stop feeling lonely, to stop the anxious, nervous angry energy inside which makes me lash out at people when I think they're abandoning me (which then really makes me alone).

I don't have a lot of hope right now.

[Achy Turtle Armor]

Originally Posted by misskeena

I'm barely hanging on. Wrote a few threads, but they're being ignored--it's fine; I know other people have their stuff too, but PC is literally my last resort and it kind of hurts. Don't have my first appointment with my new T until next Tuesday, and I'm not really sure what that will help...can she fix it so I'm not lonely? Nope. And that's all I want: to stop feeling lonely, to stop the anxious, nervous angry energy inside which makes me lash out at people when I think they're abandoning me (which then really makes me alone).

I don't have a lot of hope right now.

Just wanted you to know that I am paying attention to your words and pain. Not doing well at the moment & not sure why so I'm off to bed soon. I care about you. Hang in there.
-ata if it's ok

Originally Posted by Achy Turtle Armor

Just wanted you to know that I am paying attention to your words and pain. Not doing well at the moment & not sure why so I'm off to bed soon. I care about you. Hang in there.
-ata if it's ok

Thank you. I know people are paying attention and do care (even people around me, offline) but when I am in crisis mode, rage-y and panicky, it is difficult to be around me. Thank you. I care about you, too. I hope you are well.

Originally Posted by misskeena

I'm barely hanging on. Wrote a few threads, but they're being ignored--it's fine; I know other people have their stuff too, but PC is literally my last resort and it kind of hurts. Don't have my first appointment with my new T until next Tuesday, and I'm not really sure what that will help...can she fix it so I'm not lonely? Nope. And that's all I want: to stop feeling lonely, to stop the anxious, nervous angry energy inside which makes me lash out at people when I think they're abandoning me (which then really makes me alone).

I don't have a lot of hope right now.

Hi Misskeena, sorry you feel ignored. Sometimes, even though people want to help and offer ideas, they just don't have the words

I did read your latest post, and I'm so sorry you're going through all that.

At a time when others cannot be relied on, how about some self-soothing ? Do one small simple thing to make yourself feel better ?

[Bubbles&Buttercup]

Doctor thinks I have Fibromyalgia. Feeling pretty **** now after reading up on it.
I'm so exhausted.