[Britneigh]

Very tired. Very much fed up with life. Sigh

[Angelique67]

Exhausted and dizzy. I have to go to the clinic. They provided 14 days of Abilify. But I have to go in. I'm so scared I feel sick in my stomach already and weak and like I'd rather sleep and never wake up.

Don't feel well. Not mentally--I'm doing great mentally. But I have been feeling icky all week. Got sent home from clinical on Wednesday because I was nauseous, dizzy, and finally pukey. Woke up the next day feeling a little better, but still the same. I feel similar today, headachy, and fatigued. A lot of generalized symptoms. Ugh. I'd rather have an upper respiratory thing than be nauseous any day.

[NatashaGabber]

I've had a really emotional day today but in a positive way, took positive action on some of the isses I am dealing with. I reached out to my family and got an overwhelming positive response with validated me, something i crave from my parents. i was rewarded for my efforts. these days are rare, i cherish them

[Achy Turtle Armor]

Possible trigger:

I just want to die. I walk out in the lightning, thunder, and rain... Hoping to get struck down. If there's a Hell... That's where I am going for sure too. I don't allow myself to believe in anything so that offing myself I'd easier.

I'm sorry to bum anyone out. It's just where I am right now. Yeah! I have 91 days clean from effing weed but I gained all the weight I lost 6 months ago and I gave away all my old clothes. Yeah! I have 99 days free from SI but I want to die right now. Oh wow, I'm really improving except I can't seem to fit in my clothes. The only positive thing I have to say about today is that I was too depressed to eat much. Instead, I hid under my blankets most of the day.

[lv99atheist]

I feel like I'm being pulled in a thousand different directions. The really sad thing is that I feel both like I *want* to be pulled in a thousand different directions but also just left alone at the same time. I want to cling to the one I love but also push him far, far away. I want a lot of friends but I want to be totally friendless. I need help but I know nobody wants to help me. Why bother? I can't sleep but I'm afraid I'm just dreaming. I don't know anything. War nothing; BPD is hell.

[moodycow]

(trigger coping with the fallout of an attempt. )

Still feel pretty cruddy. Just came home from work early, 2 hours into a 12 hour shift and they were super short staffed so I pretty much screwed them over. I feel really badly, and this isn't going to look good on my eval. But I am dizzy, sweaty, nauseous, and vomiting, mainly because my stomach just hurts (I don't think I have a bug or anything). Kind of thinking I may have an ulcer or gastritis...

[Nicky123]

miskeena, you don't sound well, you have been sick for a few days now from what I'm reading, You should see a doc. Do you have a temp? Best to get it checked out....Don't worry about leaving them at work,,,they will manage. You look after yourself.

Originally Posted by Nicky123

miskeena, you don't sound well, you have been sick for a few days now from what I'm reading, You should see a doc. Do you have a temp? Best to get it checked out....Don't worry about leaving them at work,,,they will manage. You look after yourself.

I tried making an online appt earlier in the week but my doc had none available, and I just never followed up. I'm going to call her tomorrow.

I don't have a temp, so I'm thinking/hoping it's not gallstones creating problems (this is what happens when you're a nursing/med student, lol, you think you have everything). I have a history of hiatal hernia and acid reflux to begin with and have been having to take my second dose of Prilosec since last fall with the increasing addition of chewable Pepcid. After starting nursing school I'm consuming more caffeine than I had previously, probably taking more ibuprofen than ever, and am far more stressed. And I'm not eating as well as I used to or getting enough sleep, and while I don't drink often, when I do go out, I probably have too many. This all kind of flew over my head until I started feeling really crappy this week and now I have no appetite, I have near constant nausea and a gnawing, burning pain. I didn't have any coffee this morning and am eating bland foods. This seems to help a little--I don't have the acidy stomach but I'm still very nauseous. Only had to take one Prilosec, though.

What worries me is that I'm already on Prilosec and it's not covered by my current insurance so the medication for gastritis (if that's what it is), is almost definitely not covered. I'd still rather have gastritis than a gallbladder problem, though. I do not have the time or money for surgery right now!

[Nicky123]

You sound like you have a bit of a 'dickie' tummy alright. If it was gallstones you would have terrible pain, that is unless you had gallbladder infection but you might have Jaundice then lol. I'm a nurse too, well have given it up now but I do remember when I was a student I thought I had every ailment going!!! I hope you will be feeling better soon. Mind yourself.

[Mindful55]

I just want to be completed happy for just one day, instead of the shadows of darkness.

Sent from my SPH-L720T using Tapatalk

Originally Posted by Nicky123

You sound like you have a bit of a 'dickie' tummy alright. If it was gallstones you would have terrible pain, that is unless you had gallbladder infection but you might have Jaundice then lol. I'm a nurse too, well have given it up now but I do remember when I was a student I thought I had every ailment going!!! I hope you will be feeling better soon. Mind yourself.

I've had kind of a gnawing right upper quadrant pain for quite some time now, but I ignored it because that's how my hiatal hernia was diagnosed so with increasing heartburn, I'm not really too worried. I work in the emergency department and have seen plenty of bad gallbladders--you're right, I feel like I would be in more pain than this. The bad thing about working in emergency is that you don't want to go in for nothing. Not that I'd go in for this, I'll wait to see my primary care doc. I'm not eating much, but it's not like I'm wasting away. Saltines and water settle well--my pregnant school friend and I can snack together.

Seems like I'm not getting any sleep tonight. Work in 4 hours...

[Crazy Hitch]

Thumbs up

[puzzclar]

Today I engaged in life.... very helpful

[Nicky123]

Originally Posted by misskeena

I've had kind of a gnawing right upper quadrant pain for quite some time now, but I ignored it because that's how my hiatal hernia was diagnosed so with increasing heartburn, I'm not really too worried. I work in the emergency department and have seen plenty of bad gallbladders--you're right, I feel like I would be in more pain than this. The bad thing about working in emergency is that you don't want to go in for nothing. Not that I'd go in for this, I'll wait to see my primary care doc. I'm not eating much, but it's not like I'm wasting away. Saltines and water settle well--my pregnant school friend and I can snack together.

Well, I hope you will be feeling better soon. Can you get one of the doctor in ED to have a look at you? We were always getting the docs to have a look at us if we were sick. We used to take each others' bloods and send them off to the lab. You maybe cannot do that. It would be interesting to see how you WCC is. Glad to hear you're not wasting away. LOL Be sure to go and see your own doc anyway....Take care.

Originally Posted by Nicky123

Well, I hope you will be feeling better soon. Can you get one of the doctor in ED to have a look at you? We were always getting the docs to have a look at us if we were sick. We used to take each others' bloods and send them off to the lab. You maybe cannot do that. It would be interesting to see how you WCC is. Glad to hear you're not wasting away. LOL Be sure to go and see your own doc anyway....Take care.

I kind of can, but probably not for this. And it depends on the provider. I might ask one of them to look in my ear or listen to my lungs (which a nurse can do too, actually haha) but these days they probably wouldn't treat me without me signing in. (Though a most of them will write for antibiotics if you've been coming to work sick forever, haha, like I did over Christmas break.) And they definitely won't run tests because the hospital won't do it. 12 years ago, when I worked in another ER, I used to do that kind of stuff but the hospitals have gotten more strict and the providers more concerned about their licenses--which makes sense. I have an appointment for tomorrow with one of the PAs at my office...my actual doctor is really hard to see unless I'm either dying or having my annual physical.

[Bill3]

I hope that you feel better, misskeena.

Okay. I'm sorry I'm hijacking the thread, but I'm starting to freak out a little. I don't think I've ever not felt well for a period of time, and not really known why. I have only been really acutely ill this week, but as I said before, looking back I've kind of been having trouble for quite some time. I keep thinking that, if I lay off caffeine and other belly-irritants, I will feel better. But there hasn't been any change over the past few days at all. I had a sleeve of Saltines over this morning and afternoon, and I'm actually hungry so I ate a half cup of Grape-Nuts with a quarter cup of mixed berries and flax milk. I don't think it's going to stay down. Same as what happened yesterday. I'm in tears because I'm thinking of all of the bad things it could be...

I mean, I hate to be negative, but here it is: life really kind of has been going incredibly well for a while. I've been wondering when the other shoe would drop. So I'm afraid.

[Crazy Hitch]

Hope everyone is well

I'm doing great

[Britneigh]

Struggling with triggering thoughts. Not a good day

It's taken me three years but I finally accept this diagnosis to be correct. I guess now I should do something about that....

Saw the PA at my docs office today and I was right--I have an early ulcer/gastritis. Since this means my acid reflux is no longer being effectively managed, she's referring me to a GI doc for a surgery consult to fix my hiatal hernia (that's when part of your stomach is pushing through your diaphragm, so it allows acid to reflux up into your esophagus and cause heartburn and erosion, and eventually other problems). Meh. I knew it'd have to be done eventually. It's just bad timing.

[Nicky123]

Feeling good today. A productive day. Getting stuff done that I've meaning to do for a while.