[Gus1234U]

i'm already hoping for a better New Year ~!

Jan, if i thought doing the driveway in four tries was hard, i now have a new perspective... i had to do the whole thing in one go, since the bus isn't running for the holidays and i needed to get to the pharmacist. i didn't understand what that last storm left us,, snow, rain, freeze , thaw, snow,, OMG... i thought i was gonna die.... the bus driver did the last 6 ft of the ice bank from the plow,,,, bless him~

Liz~ like they say in AA,,, one day at a time~! looking at an unknown future and condemning it isn't gonna help~! personally, i am always amazed that good things still happen to me~

welcome Robinne~ hope to see and hear more about you,,, i don't have fibro, just all kinds of minor pains (and i self-medicate with SLEEP~!) or at least laying in bed pretending

Cafe~ thanks, and it's so good to hear of little things that can be so satisfying, when done in moderation~

nice to see you posting again Kiya, the site has been a fright for days~

you all mean SOOOOO Much to me~! {{{{{ HUGS }}}}}

[lizardlady]

Thanks everyone. I think my feelings coming home from my friend's were typical end of vacation feelings. We see it here in Florida all the time. Folks come here on vacation, enjoy themselves and decide to move here thinking it will be all fun at the beach when they get here. Then reality raises its head - got to work, pay bills, take out the garbage, all the day to day living stuff. I also reminded myself that when I'm working I cherish my alone time in the evenings. I spend my days helping other people with their problems. I relish the ability to come home and not have to look at another human being until the next day.

Kiya, you pegged it. I want a normal life. I go through periods of hating having this disorder. I rant about what I've lost because of it. Then I settle down again and accept that it is what it is. Tuesday was one of the days I really hated having fibro.

All this said, when I go back to work I'm going to see how I feel in the evenings and on the weekends. Them I'm going to decide if I have the energy to volunteer somewhere.

[January]

Liz, you absolutely amaze me. I don't know how you're going to volunteer, but I know that if it's possible, you'll find a way.

Gus, I'm so glad the bus driver helped. Please be careful!!!!!

Cake, maybe your friend just wanted to drift off that way. I'm sure he knows how much you care. Please take care of yourself.

Kiya, I'm so glad you found a way into the site! You are so missed!

I got chewed out today for not doing better with my SAD, fibro, etc. I am barely functioning, except for taking care of Belle. I still haven't gotten the apartment cleaned. I must do it this weekend!

Anyway, today, for the first time, I almost gave up hope of getting better. I really did, and I'm not like that. I decided to let the day pass and try a bit harder tomorrow. Besides, I have Belle and she is a pure joy.

I love you all.

[lizardlady]

Jan, shame on whoever for chewing you out. You can only do what you can do. I wish there was a way for the uninformed to walk in our shoes for a day. I find when I'm having what I call a "poopy" day (want to give up), I let myself feel poopy for the day and start over again the next day.

I'm thinking that maybe when I go back to work I might look into restarting Tai Chi classes again. It would give me a chance to socialize and the gentle stretching feels good.

I've got a serious case of the mopes this week. Normally I enjoy my single life, but this week it stinks. I'm missing all my family that's gone. I'm wishing I had someone to share my life with. I know this feeling will pass, but it sucks while it's here.

[January]

Liz, I'm sorry you are missing your loved ones. I hope the mopes go away for you very soon.

Tai Chi sounds like a great idea! I hope you can do it.

Yes, I wish this person could walk in my shoes for about a week and she would know what sheer terror is. I could not stop the panic enough last night to sleep. What a night.

I wish all of you a Happy New Year! I hope tonight is great for you, in whatever form you celebrate, even if it's sleeping through midnight!

[~Christina]

Happy New Year everyone !

I hope the pain monsters leave us alone or at least give us a break !

I have spent far to much time in bed lately.

Love to you all !!!

[Gus1234U]

may Soft and Airy come to stay with you a while ~!

[January]

If I can manage it, I'm going to take Belle to the vet tomorrow. I'm going to have to be able to walk a bit better.

I hope you all had a wonderful New Year's Day.

[Kiya]

starting more walking and more drinking water. time to get my shtuff together before surgery in 17 days.

[lizardlady]

I've been sensible for once about getting things done. I'm off work for two weeks for the holidays. Am catching up on some projects around the farm. For once, I'm being smart about it. I work on a project for awhile. When I get tired I quit and rest. Am getting some work down and not berating myself for not getting more done. It feels nice!

[cakeladie]

I do the same hint Liz but with house work

I am still trying to grasped about y friend passing away. On top of that I have an echo cardiogram secheduled for Wednesday. All I want to do is stay in bed.

Take care everyone and Liz you are my ideal for all the stuff u do

[lizardlady]

Originally Posted by cakeladie

Liz you are my ideal for all the stuff u do

Cake, you make me blush!

[Gus1234U]

^^^ your bed of roses

i hope the year is off to a good start~

Kiya - best wishes with your surgery; i hear that one can help the body to tolerate these invasive procedures by sending images to the affected body parts and showing them how to accept the trauma and heal afterwards... it's just a thought~

Cake - sending you energy for your echo~ (i kind of thought mine was fun)...

Jan - whats wrong with little Belle ??? oh let her be well~!

Liz - it's good to celebrate accomplishments, and to be kind to the body we live in ~

[lizardlady]

Cake, maybe I can offer a story to help with a different POV about your friend's passing.

Years ago I had an online friend I was very close to. I called him my Little Bro. He was the oldest in his family and I was the youngest. He was younger than me and we got a kick out of me being his Big Sis.

Anyway, he had a blood disorder similar to hemophilia that was going to be terminal. When he got close to the end of his life he intentionally cut off contact with us online. It wasn't that we were no longer close. It was that he wanted retreat within himself as the end came. It hurt. I still miss him, and it's been years, but I respect the decision he made. Maybe your friend wanted something similar?

[cakeladie]

You know Liz I kinda did the unthinkable and I am not sure if I shared this already with you guys or not. But my friend did not die in hospice like I was told. I did the unthinkable and emailed his ex wife to find out what happened. I needed answers to start the grieving process and I did not feel like the info I had been given was right or maybe I wanted to confirm it.

Much to my surprise his ex wife responded to me. Maybe it's the fact that I gave her my first and last name and address or the fact that I could tell her where to find his will. Yep we were close.

Anyway he sent me an email on sept 13 for sure and maybe sept 14th I really have to look. The best the police can figure out is he went to bed either the 13th or the 14th of September and just never got up. He died of either natural causes or a heart attack. He death date (that's how his ex explained it) is October 8th because that is the day the police found him in bed. He had been there since the 13th or the 14th.

Because she is the ex she had a hard time getting his body released and cremated and put with his parents. Not sure he would have like that but oh well. The fact that his ex took on the fight says a lot about her. It took over 2 months to get his body released.

One thing she said to me was that he charished his online friendships. It's very hard to find really true friends on or off the internet. I need to keep that in mind because Liz you have been a true friend so has Jan and Christina and Kiya and a few others. You guys have listened to me and have been there when I needed to vent or just cry. So thank you from the bottom of my heart.

[January]

Cake, all of us are family. That's just the way it is. I feel so close to all of you here and I cherish each one of you.

I am glad you found your friend's ex and found out what happened. I hope you can start the grieving process now and start your journey toward healing.

Belle is generally ok. I took her for her first vet appointment. She is between 6 months and a year old. I think she is closer to 6 months because she likes to play and chew things so much. She did great at the vet's and they were excellent with her. They could tell she had been badly abused. The jerk broke two of her teeth, which may have to be removed. She also has to have two types of anti-anxiety meds every day for the rest of her life to be able to deal with her anxiety. Because she is so tiny, (7 pounds), I have to give them to her in liquid form. They will cost about $70 a month. Other than the teeth and her fear, she is in good health.

I honestly thought she was having a seizure or stroke in the van as I drove her in the crate back and forth. The vet told me to buy her a car harness and have her wear it so she won't be afraid. I also need to get a car seat of some kind because she can't see out the window.

Since I have panic, at least I understand her. I'd like to find the mean man and turn him into the police, but no one will tell me his name.

I am having trouble breathing today. I go to the cardiologist about it on Thursday. Hopefully they will find nothing. I don't want to be away from Belle.

I am going to try to figure out a way to post a picture of her for all of you. Gus knows how horrible I am at posting pics! Maybe Belle can be the forum mascot! What do you think?

[cakeladie]

I think that is a lovely idea

[lizardlady]

Have any of you ever tried IV ketamine for fibro pain? I saw a documentary on TV that mentioned it. Some on-line research gives mixed results. Since it's an experimental treatment it's probably not covered by insurance - $2000 per infusion. Thought I'd see if anyone here had any personal experience with it.

[~Christina]

While I was getting IV lidocaine, numerous people that got no help from lidocaine. It's a pretty brutal process, 6-8 hours and constant monitoring when nightmares / terrors hit the med needs stopped until heart rate and reality comes back into play. Where I use to go they had to physically wheel patients to the bathroom , people looked drugged out of there mind and drooling.

Did it help ? Was mixed... half said yea . Some said yes but couldn't handle the ordeal.

Where I went when they were open and it was part of a study group my payment for lido was 32.00 for ketamine it was roughly. 100.00 after insurance payed .

The major issue is finding a pain management Doctor that offers the treatment options.

My clinic 3 hours away stopped the study because the good ole state of Tennessee really screwed over pain med doctors and had there hands tied so tight it was impossible for them to offer help.

I say look into it , but I would definitely try Lidocaine first.

[Kiya]

(((( all! ))))
Loved ones lost, pain management, suggestions 💖
Final pre-op today, all going well. Big day is 18.
I turn 40 a week beforehand.
Met a new p nurse today (that remembers me from hospital stay years ago ) and we got along swimmingly I think. Naturally she is already changing my meds… So the surgeon is a little confused but I told her we'd go with what she wanted and the surgeon said it was fine to change meds.
I need to go to sleep but I don't want to start the med change right now. Oh well, bottom's up!

[cakeladie]

Kiya know that we are all with you

[Kiya]

And I with you!!

[Gus1234U]

[possum220]

Sending every one of you all the warms you need from my corner of the world.

[Kiya]

Warms!!!!
Needs!!!

It's 25 F and "feels like 12 F". Snow and ice.
Hot homemade soup on the stove, tho!!