Apparently NOT

And here I was thinking things were starting to look up and maybe it wouldn't suck. Apparently not! I have been rejected by every type of woman known to man. From the physically stunning with an outgoing but "witchy" attitude to the unfit and shy. This leaves me with one unescapable conclusion. There is something so wrong with me that no one would want. If I hear it isn't true one more time I'm gonna snap because all evidence I see and experience shows me that is not the case. I am not an outgoing person, it takes monumental effort for me to talk to anyone and every flipping time I do I get rejected. Heck the last one I went on lasted 3.5 hrs, laughed and talked the majority of the time, even went to lunch with me when she wasn't hungry...just to talk. Two days later....just not my type. I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING "stupid", "creepy", "needy" or "crazy" (for all those that will suggest I did). I barely even said anything because I am a laid back person and she had stuff to do. I mean seriously! WHAT is wrong with me?

If you barely said anything like you said you did in your last date, I would probably be bored and uncomfortable fueling the entire conversation. I'd probably think that you were uninteresting or not interested in me.

I mean I barely said anything afterward...the two day interim...you know a space sort of thing.

So, did you enjoy any of these dates? Which parts went the best for you?

Come on hermit, not the point.

I think Hermit asked a good question it's relavent.. Did you enjoy any of the time you have spent with these ladies?

There is no "the" point. There are various points. Taking a too-narrow viewpoint often limits both understanding and solutions.

You are complaining about certain things, yes. But joy and happiness when shared are extremely attractive things. Do you have any on your own? Did you share any with these people?

Not YOUR point, but A relevant point.

What type of response are you hoping for here? I am curious. People to answer your question this way, "What is wrong with you is . . ."? Or something else. I am not sure. I have been where you are and have told you how I got out of it. No doubt there are many routes out that work for different people and situations.

Agreed. Relevant, because the other person would readily sense you enjoyment or lack thereof, and if you said little afterwards, well, it would be nice, if true, to hear after a first date that the other person enjoyed themselves, if they did; or even that it didn't work out for them (though that is hard, and a lot to ask...most just stay quiet). To receive, giving is important (socially). I took a peek at your profile and don't know how old you are or what your history is......have social relationships, even with men in this case, always been difficult, or is this actually related to women? You may need to practice certain skills, or you may need to work on your own self-image or that of women, in general, for you.

& honestly, the way you divvy women up into less and more desirable groups, I find offensive. and i expect the women sense you judging, for good or bad, this can be a turn off done out of prejudicial views. (not that we don't all have our preferences on "first sight", though I always have to at least talk to the person first...

No offense intended. I look at a person's heart not their appearance for the most part. I was trying to illustrate the wide range of women I have dated. And to be honest those two are extreme opposites, agreed? It is an illustration, nothing more.

What I find to be a problem is this, I get attacked stating that I am judging or not "enjoying" myself. Both are incorrect and assumptions. I clearly stated that both of us talked, laughed and had fun. So did I express it? Yes as I did most of the joking when we we talking and laughing. As far as the appearance of the other person, I couldn't care less or why would I "waste" my time? Come on people let's be reasonable here. Let's also stop putting a male into a stereotype as well.

Am I jaded right now? You bet but I am an honest person, 98% of the time, so that is how I respond.

Hermit, do I have joy and happiness on my own? Yes, I do but loneliness sucks when it is 90% of your day. It take its toll. There is only so much enjoyment one can have while being alone...even an introvert. Do I want someone to answer the question like, "This is what is wrong with you...."? Yes actually because in four years after being cheated on and walked out on...I have not found a reason, so yes, it would be nice.

If any of this is brash or rude I apologize in advance but there is a point where this is just too much to process.

I think what was meant was asking this: "Did you enjoy all of those dates that you went on, with all of those different woman?" Because if there are some which you didn't really enjoy or show interest in (because really now, we all have times where we're interested but do a poor job of showing it! - I certainly do!) then you have to make sure you discount them when you're reflecting. Because the woman would have almost certainly noticed it and of course not respond.

That would then leave just the women whom you were interested in and enjoyed your time with. Is there a chance that you've miscommunicated with them, like sent them incorrect signals or possibly misinterpreted theirs? That might be something to look at for yourself.

If you feel highly interested in someone, how do you let her know that? Not just during the date - but afterwards? Unfortunately there is still the stereotype for the man to take the initiative on stuff, so if you haven't proactively messaged her or attempted to initiate another plan or at least more than a superficial conversation, then she may think that you are not interested and give up.

You thought I attacked you?
No, I asked if you enjoyed because you don't seem to be focusing on pursuing what you want, which puzzled me. Also the fact that people judge any negativity of lack of enthusiasm and tend to reject you for it. You asked why you get rejected. From firsthand experience I know most people reject negativity and lack of enthusiasm, because both have been chronic with me.

Please let me know if that's what you meant, that I attacked you. Thanks.

By the way, there is no ONE thing "wrong" with you. Different people are rejecting you for different reasons. Also women in whatever category you can come up with are individuals. If you are rejected by both a supermodel and a fat geek, those are two data points, two individuals, not interchangeable units of a category. The way you describe it comes across very naively at best. In a sense there is nothing wrong with you. We are human, we all have faults, many of us are loved despite them. How does that happen? Maybe that is a more important question than your entrenched concept there is one particular thing wrong with you, which I assume you hope to change thereby solving your problem. I hope that's not what you think, because it sounds ridiculous the way I have described it here.

Sounds like you're TOO HONEST, like me. A very detestable characteristic to most people.

Hermit when I was talking about being attacked I didn't mean you, no worries. Just at the point of giving up and extremely frustrated.

I'll just throw this out maybe it will stick and maybe it won't ... No offense intended...

You have been hurt deeply in the past, It seems logical that if you haven't moved on or past it , then it could be possible you are throwing out some negativity during these dates that you wasn't even aware of ?

Your angry .. that's okay , maybe explore a little bit more about yourself and how you may come across to the ladies .

Good luck

Yeah, no clue how to do any of that.

Do you have a therapist ? If so he/she can help. If you don't this would be a good time to find one and work on any problems in your life, relationships, work , social situations, etc.

Therapy is really all about getting to the core of your feelings / issues and learning ways to enrich your life. It's really hard to look at your own self and figure out what is working and what isn't. Sometimes ya just need someone to help you unwind some feelings and point you in a direction you may not even realize is available. We humans tend to screw up our lives, alot . lol

My Therapist has been a lifesaver.

Yeah I have a therapist I go to. Simply put it doesn't do much. Yeah talking about it is cool and all but it doesn't solve anything. Basically I am paying someone to talk to me..plain and simple. Pathetic when you think about it.

If your Therapy isn't helping you with specific problems then you need a NEW Therapist.

Its typical when you start with a therapist he/she will ask loads of questions trying to get a picture of who you are and what areas could use help. You need to be upfront with why you are there and actual goals should be decided on... Maybe ask your T specific questions as to how you and he/she are going to go about reaching them.

Hopefully your T and you can really start making progress .. If you still feel like its nothing but you paying someone to just talk.... Find a NEW Therapist !

Things can get better