My birthday is Saturday and I am becoming really upset. None of my friends are available to hang out that night, and now I worry I will have to be home all alone and I really don't want this nor know how to cope with it.

I want to celebrate! And with friends!!! I want to dance!!! The LAST thing I want is to sit home, bummed out on my Bday. My life is already a bummer these days, and I am hardly coping as it is.

ARGH GRRR ARGH GRRRR!!!!

How do I cope with being home alone on my birthday??!!?? I am starting to feel like I don't have enough friends to hang out with. I already feel bad about being my age and living with my parents.

This sucks.

[Thunder Bow]

Go out and treat yourself to a movie and fast food. If at home do something special for yourself. You don't always have to be with others.

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry you might be alone on your birthday. You could plan a spa day with a facial, manicure, pedicure or massage with essential oils and then go to dinner and a movie. You could even buy yourself some reasonably priced champagne or Spumante and put big, ripe strawberries in to soak it up (if you drink). You could pamper and celebrate yourself and then plan a birthday celebration with your friends on another day. Just a thought. Sending big hugs.

[MickeyCheeky]

Hopefully you won't be alone on your birthday. If you do, just keep in mind that your friends have nothing against you - it just so happened that they were busy. You can always go out by yourself if that happens

[Shadix]

I know how you feel. I have friends who are never available to do anything. And when they do they are often not down for anything fun because they are conservative religious types. I spend most Saturday night alone at home. You think maybe you could celebrate your birthday on another day when your friends are available? Maybe on the actual day you could just have a family celebration?

I know how this feels. Last year I tried to set something up and none of my friends showed up and my 2 close friends were busy that night.

thank you all..... hugs!

I could treat myself to a manicure and pedicure during the day -- I thought of that too. But the thought of being home alone -- celebrating alone -- is really depressing, even if I DO treat myself to a nice dinner and a movie. BIG SIGH.

It is upsetting that no one is available, even though it's not their fault at all.

I mean, I could always talk to my bf, if he's not working, but still, I am alone most days and nights and work from home all by myself. I am tired of the isolation, and on my bday, of all days, I want to get out and be with a friend or two.

It just depresses me so much... I don't know how to get past that.

[Sunflower123]

As a last resort, if you find yourself alone, don't stay at the house. Stay out all day and then go to a nice dinner and a movie or two. Find something that would be special to you away from the house. If you stay at home you may ruminate and just feel worse.

[wolfgaze]

Originally Posted by golden_eve

My birthday is Saturday and I am becoming really upset. None of my friends are available to hang out that night, and now I worry I will have to be home all alone and I really don't want this nor know how to cope with it.

I have spent many birthdays and holidays alone over the course of the last 10 or so years... It wasn't convenient for me to drive long distances to visit family on many of those occasions - plus I found myself gradually relinquishing my emotional attachment/investment to those particular days - so I had less and less of expectation of 'needing' to do anything 'special' for those dates... It's perfectly okay not to do anything special on any given day/date... Nothing wrong with that at all...

Originally Posted by golden_eve

I want to celebrate! And with friends!!! I want to dance!!! The LAST thing I want is to sit home, bummed out on my Bday. My life is already a bummer these days, and I am hardly coping as it is.

ARGH GRRR ARGH GRRRR!!!!

Dancing/Fun/Enjoyment/Celebration with friends can be had any time of the year! You don't have to wait for birthdays or holidays to plan such events/experiences... Do it a week before your birthday, do it a week after your birthday - it doesn't make a difference because the 'birthday' is really just an excuse to get people together for what should be a good time... So if your friends can't do anything on one particular weekend, just make plans to come together on another weekend.... What's most important is the experience that will be shared together - not the 'timing' of it....

Originally Posted by golden_eve

How do I cope with being home alone on my birthday??!!?? I am starting to feel like I don't have enough friends to hang out with. I already feel bad about being my age and living with my parents.

This sucks.

-How to cope? By reminding yourself that it's really just another day of the year in 'life' here on Earth - and that you do not have to attach any expectations to that day... Unfulfilled expectations lead to disappointment, hurting, etc.... Recognize your role in contributing to that outcome....

-Don't feel bad about living with your parents. In other parts of the world there are many cultures where it is common for many relatives to be living under the same roof, well into adulthood. Even multiple generations (grandparents, parents, children).... People from those cultures would not find it questionable that you are living with your parents (at whatever age)... Not sure where you reside but our culture/society in the U.S. is toxic and imperfect in many ways... The 'system' is not designed in a manner that is intended to facilitate your well-being and 'success' - to make it convenient for everyone to thrive. The cost of living is extremely high and rising - and this means that more and more individuals are finding that they cannot 'live the American dream' that they were conditioned to believe in. There is absolutely nothing wrong with family supporting one another. It's not your life situation/circumstances that needs to change - but other peoples' ideas/opinions about what truly matters and is important....

[Bill3]

You could schedule a birthday party on another day, when your friends are available. Then you would have that to look forward to on your actual birthday.

Maybe there is some way to volunteer or help out a worthwhile cause for part of the day. That would not be a birthday party but it might help you feel good nonetheless.

@Jennifer -- thank you. **hugs** That's a great suggestion! Just get out of the house!!!! THIS is what is driving me crazy the most. Is being couped up all alone most days and nights. And you're right -- if I'm home the whole time, I will most certainly ruminate on how awful I think things are, and I will make them worse than they are.

@Wolfgaze -- thank you as well. **hugs** You are oh so wise! Your comments show a lot of wisdom. I don't know why this year in particular I am attaching so much meaning and importance to my bday.

You make a good point.... I think it's the overall loneliness factor that I face, and normally each year, I have had friends around for my actual birthday day celebration. Right now, in particular, I am feeling rather lonely and alone. I think this is why I want to be out... to not have to face that loneliness -- yet again -- and on a Saturday night no less. But I will consider what you've written -- good food for thought!

@Bill -- that's a great idea too, thank you and **Hugs***. I could definitely do that... then again, 47 is not all that special to me, so I think, why bother creating a gathering? LOL. Now, for my 50th, that's different. I will definitely gather a special group together for that one....

So I suppose I will try and treat myself to something special during the day -- maybe a spa-like afternoon and maybe get my hair done, too.... then at night.... well, I could go somewhere where I know I will at least know people. That's a thought. Or order takeout Chinese... but I do that all the time. I would have to think of something I don't normally order.

OOH! A girlfriend just told me as I'm writing this that she MAY be available Sat eve to hang out! SO, I could have something to do after all.... I really hope she is available. I would love to hang out with this particular woman.. she's wonderful, and also deals with depression sometimes.

[Bill3]

It hope it works out with your friend!

[wolfgaze]

Originally Posted by golden_eve

@Wolfgaze -- thank you as well. **hugs** You are oh so wise! Your comments show a lot of wisdom. I don't know why this year in particular I am attaching so much meaning and importance to my bday.

You make a good point.... I think it's the overall loneliness factor that I face, and normally each year, I have had friends around for my actual birthday day celebration. Right now, in particular, I am feeling rather lonely and alone. I think this is why I want to be out... to not have to face that loneliness -- yet again -- and on a Saturday night no less. But I will consider what you've written -- good food for thought!

Thanks for the response and for the kind feedback...

Often times 'life' (or the Universe) will place you in a situation or facing a set of circumstances that serves to really push your internal buttons! And sure it's always uncomfortable navigating your way through and coping with the challenging emotions that surface. However, those types of experiences contribute to changing and refining you - enabling you to evolve your state of consciousness. So perhaps the particular feelings that are coming up, are surfacing for a good reason (for a higher purpose), And perhaps the timing of this is no coincidence and that this is happening now for an important reason (higher purpose) which will eventually become clear to you when you later reflect back upon how you have grown/changed...

One quick thought that came to mind when I clicked on your thread a second time - was that I was wondering if you had any younger relatives living in your area? Like maybe a niece or nephew, or a younger cousin? If you don't have any other plans set up for your birthday - you could plan to do something rewarding and enjoyable with someone else who you imagine would greatly appreciate it. Perhaps a nice dinner and a movie, or some other type of event/experience. It would likely make you feel good to be involved in something which served to bring positive energy and enjoyment to someone else. Plus you can still plan to do something with your friends at a later date!

Thanks, Bill! I hope so too! (((hugs)))

Thanks, Wolfgaze! You know, I am in tune with these things you are talking about, ie, higher purpose, or perhaps even a higher self, and what the universe delivers for us, etc. I have been given many many such experiences, far too many for my tastes! LOL. Said with tongue in cheek. I know that we are supposed to learn and grow.... but for me, it's like come on already, I've been alone for so darned long!!!

That's a great suggestion about being with younger family members, and I would (I have three nephews), but they are with their father Sat. night (divorced and it's his turn). But I never would have thought of that myself! (((Hugs)))

This friend just MAY come through for me.... so I am hoping for that right now. If not, I guess I will allow the universe to do its thing, and I'll just go with what is meant to be for right now -- being alone.

[divine1966]

When I was single and my daughter went to college I used to volunteer on holidays, in homeless shelters. I really need to do it now too but I am too busy with two jobs. When I did though, I really liked it and I remember I was so humbled the first time around when I volunteered. Not only I was exhausted from work in a soup kitchen, I didn't feel like complaining about anything as my life was a paradise in comparison.

In general I don't particularly care about birthdays. I didn't do anything for my 50th either. Just treat it like any other day.

Originally Posted by divine1966

When I was single and my daughter went to college I used to volunteer on holidays, in homeless shelters. I really need to do it now too but I am too busy with two jobs. When I did though, I really liked it and I remember I was so humbled the first time around when I volunteered. Not only I was exhausted from work in a soup kitchen, I didn't feel like complaining about anything as my life was a paradise in comparison.

In general I don't particularly care about birthdays. I didn't do anything for my 50th either. Just treat it like any other day.

Thanks, Divine. Yeah, people care about birthdays differently. I suppose I am one of the ones who cares about celebrating it. I used to celebrate an entire birthday month and would go out with each of my different friends to celebrate throughout the month.

The way I view a birthday is that it's a way to celebrate you -- the one day in the year when you have the opportunity to say hey, I am awesome, I am happy to be alive, I am grateful to be alive, life is good and I deserve this day. LOL. It's a person's special day. So from that angle, I like to celebrate my being alive with those I love and cherish the most.

I have volunteered in the past and have appreciated and enjoyed it immensely. I made my whole family volunteer in a soup kitchen on Christmas day one year because I felt we didn't appreciate what we had. It was great to do and taught us all something valuable.

[Ljj7000]

Maybe talking about your feelings with your friends on the phone could help. There are always going to be people willing to help you feel better. I've had some not-so-good birthdays before. Even though they were horrible, I still was able to find something positive in them.

Originally Posted by Ljj7000

Maybe talking about your feelings with your friends on the phone could help. There are always going to be people willing to help you feel better. I've had some not-so-good birthdays before. Even though they were horrible, I still was able to find something positive in them.

Thanks. **hugs*** This is a good idea too - lots of great suggestions here! I could call my girlfriend in CA. We haven't spoken in months. Of course, it's hard to schedule calls due to the time difference from coast to coast, but I may do just that.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by golden_eve

Thanks, Divine. Yeah, people care about birthdays differently. I suppose I am one of the ones who cares about celebrating it. I used to celebrate an entire birthday month and would go out with each of my different friends to celebrate throughout the month.

The way I view a birthday is that it's a way to celebrate you -- the one day in the year when you have the opportunity to say hey, I am awesome, I am happy to be alive, I am grateful to be alive, life is good and I deserve this day. LOL. It's a person's special day. So from that angle, I like to celebrate my being alive with those I love and cherish the most.

I have volunteered in the past and have appreciated and enjoyed it immensely. I made my whole family volunteer in a soup kitchen on Christmas day one year because I felt we didn't appreciate what we had. It was great to do and taught us all something valuable.

You can celebrate "yourself" every day though, be grateful you are alive and have fun any other day too. There is nothing wrong with celebrating birthdays but I am just concerned that it upsets you can't go out on that particular day. Trying to give you different perspective.

Maybe I just cannot relate. It's just how it is. We can't always celebrate the way we want to: work or no suitable company or health or what not. Many people work in fields where they can't choose when to be off. My husband will be working third Christmas in a row, they have shortage of nurses and he believes women with young children should be the ones to request it off, not grown man with grown kids. He also always works on his birthday, just because how schedule works out. We just kind of adapt I guess to circumstances.

Schedule your outing for a different day, and pamper yourself that day.

Originally Posted by divine1966

You can celebrate "yourself" every day though, be grateful you are alive and have fun any other day too. There is nothing wrong with celebrating birthdays but I am just concerned that it upsets you can't go out on that particular day. Trying to give you different perspective.

Maybe I just cannot relate. It's just how it is. We can't always celebrate the way we want to: work or no suitable company or health or what not. Many people work in fields where they can't choose when to be off. My husband will be working third Christmas in a row, they have shortage of nurses and he believes women with young children should be the ones to request it off, not grown man with grown kids. He also always works on his birthday, just because how schedule works out. We just kind of adapt I guess to circumstances.

Schedule your outing for a different day, and pamper yourself that day.

Divine, you are right. I don't know why I've been so hung up on this!!!

However, I just found out my girlfriend IS available Sat eve, so I have a plan now, which makes me very happy! YAY!!!

I am very relieved... still, it's good food for thought as to why I've been so upset over this. Normally, I just go with the flow and can accept circumstances that don't work out. Last weekend though, I didn't go see a local band I wanted to see because my friends cancelled or changed plans and I didn't want to go by myself so I sat home alone and bored all night. I guess it's just important to me, not only because it's my actual bday, but because it's the weekend and I want something fun to do Sat night.

[Bill3]

Hurrah! Have fun!

Originally Posted by Bill3

Hurrah! Have fun!

Thanks, Bill!!

[Sunflower123]

Glad you get to go out. Enjoy your birthday.

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Glad you get to go out. Enjoy your birthday.

Thanks Jennifer!!

[divine1966]

Happy almost birthday!!!!