[Sohappy]

A friend pointed out that I have a cognitive dissonance with art and she has cognitive dissonance with her hobbies as well. I only vaguely remembered the term from my college years that I want to forget. I had to look it up.

I am often never feel like doing art because I don't see the value in art and the supplies I get are expensive. Instead of buying nice clothes, takeout meals etc., I get these supplies which I know my family would disapprove. Then I feel guilty about it afterwards but I want it at the same time.

I also don't think my art is that great either and I don't believe that I could get better if I practiced more. I don't know how to enjoy doing art because it will never pay my bills. It's just another consumeable.....so I don't produce much art works but the obsession for art supplies is too much. I have to talk myself out of buying anymore.

I struggle with all these conflicting thoughts. I'm trying how to stop conflicting thoughts to reduce the cognitive dissonance. I might try to find there is value to doing art.

Perhaps, I am going to unexplored territory. And if I tried not to think about the negative aspects of art (cost & time, etc.) and allow myself to do it without being critical of myself, I might find out what it is about art that I like...

But then knowing myself, I will always feel down on myself for liking an expensive hobby. I think it's not something I can change. It always stressed me out. So actually I stress myself out...Nobody is making me get these supplies.

[TheGal]

(((SH)))


Two things come to mind:

- use the supplies you have now before getting more;
- for your 6th day of work, why not consider a frame shop or art gallery, so you'll be more in touch with art?

And most important, allow yourself to create without criticism... easier said than done, I know... but try...

[Sohappy]

Thanks TG,

Recently, I have been going to the art store near my office. The last time I went, they had a small gallery room where they posted some paintings on the wall for sale.

Im not an art critic, but I didn't like any of the work and I was appalled that they called those art when they looked like beginner's paintings in nice expensive frames. Some look partially done with pencils. And there was lack of values (dark and light tones), etc. It was mostly impressionism or abstract which I don't really get.

I do plan to go to a gallery show on the 24th of June but I went to it last year. Last year artworks are OK but didn't really excite me. There was not many people who went to it. Very few attended and it's not really an entertainment event. You just look at the paintings and then leave when you saw enough.

Thanks TG. I don't know how to quiet my inner Critic when I do art. I get disappointed with myself when I can't do it well enough.

[TheGal]

Silencing the inner critic is not easy sometimes that's for sure. It's the reason so many of us procrastinate.

I just looked up "how to stop your inner critic" on google and found this:

Learn to silence your inner critic and amplify your confidence by using these eight amazing strategies.

1. Practice self-awareness. ...
2. Give your critic a name. ...
3. Access the evidence. ...
4. Reframe your thoughts. ...
5. Stop comparing yourself to others. ...
6. Practice self gratitude. ...
7. Identify self-criticism as a brain hiccup. ...
8. Celebrate your wins.

Also looked up "reasons we procrastinate" and found this:

So Why Do We Procrastinate?

• Feeling Bored. It makes sense that if you perceive an activity as boring or unpleasant, you're far more likely to put it off until later.
• Lack of Belief in Your Abilities. Another reason you may procrastinate? ...
• Fear and Anxiety. You may procrastinate out of fear. ...
• Perfectionism. ...
• Distraction.

[TheGal]

Also, there's "how to stop procrastinating" which I looked up and found this:

[Sohappy]

Today on my one day off, I feel lost again and wondered why I do like doing art for? My rommate gets annoyed that I have too many supplies. He wants me to get a drawer to put them in.

I can't do art today because i have to study for my French exam.

I feel too lazy to study...

[TheGal]

(((SH)))


Hang on to the dream of doing art. It's so very important to you! But maybe take a break?


Get your French exam out of the way and rest.

You must be so tired...

Whilst I understand the term, cognitive-dissonance in psychological terms, I see many likewise terms (buzz words used more to dismiss people's views.

Art does not have to cost anything and it need not have any views other than your own. Your posting in here and the words you use can be an art form. Your daily activity can also be an expression of art if you take the time to be beside yourself when going from one moment to the next. Points 1 & 6 from @TheGal 's Google Search result hits on this. As for those other points, imo they just lead right back into the dissonance.

By knowing yourself, you won't need anything to be creative because once you care less for the monkey that keeps you bound, you'll grow tired of being tired and start to feel the morning light. I have no brush or art supplies in hand whilst looking out from my sun chair when I manage to get out of my room. I'm literally running on fresh air as I contemplate whether it's worth breaking out a sketch pad or canvas from the reject shop ...

I used to pay a small fee to sit with the elderly where the paints and pastels were supplied.

It's interesting that you mention the obsession component with supplies - I get caught up in the finer details myself ... those elderly folk helped me see that and taught me to relax.

Now I just struggle to get out and look into nature, but when I do ... I find for me that is enough.

Good luck with whatever activity you're able to muster up. Points 1 & 6 really help. Sitting outside helps me be self-aware and when I can I am thankful that I was able to do that for myself.

[Sohappy]

I know some people can just enjoy doing art for the fun of it...

My brain just won't allow me to enjoy it as a hobby...

I love my new supplies and they cost a lot of money and I hope I use them and don't waste them.

Having any kind of interest can lead it to being complicated...

I guess I have too much I aspire to create with art. I want to develop new skills and create different textures that are pleasing to me.

And because I spent too much money on it, I guess that makes it more complicated.

I want to learn how to use them properly and develop stuff I can be proud of...

There is nothing wrong with anyone doing something for the joy of it...

But for some people, there is a desire to achieve more than a past time...

I like my supplies but I wish I wasn't so obsessed with getting more to try out...

When I'm lonely and depressed, there are few things I can enjoy.

I thought about joining art clubs but I don't know if I can have any connection with anyone. It's just a complicated thing.

Different people have different ideas about art. Sometimes I don't like sharing my art with other artists because I feel like it can be de-motivating and critical.

Of course, I want to do things that I can be proud of myself and not feel influenced by anyone.

It's just very complicated. At times, I don't know why I like art, it cannot pay the bills and that stresses me out...Then I wish I never got back into art.

[Fuzzybear]

((( SH )))

[Sohappy]

I hope I didn't offend anyone off with my attitude.

I wish I could love art for the fun of it but I had difficult life where I was told I was lazy because I didn't think about getting a career or that only a job that pays the bills matter....

Probably the only time I enjoyed art was when I was a child even though my parents disapproved because they were looking at the future and thinking I would be a starving artist.

I was told early on by my parent that I had better start thinking about a paying job.

But I struggled at school my whole life. That hasn't stopped for me.

So part it of the fear that I have to pay the bills somehow because I don't think I can work forever.

I know I have 2 jobs. I don't need another one but if I lost them, I would feel panicked. And I don't feel good spending money. I feel stressed over my purchases.

And plus, I don't really like my jobs. I hoped that I could actually do something that I enjoy through art but it doesn't seem possible to make a living with it.

Anyhow I need to get to work.

[TheGal]

(((SH)))

[TheGal]

I wish the world were more ideal where we all had jobs and families that complemented and nourished our authentic selves.

You can learn to feel better in your relationship with money. It's something you can learn. Knowing you have an issue with money is the first step to solving it.


Also, knowing your personality type might help you figure out work that you'd enjoy.


This is similar to the Myers-Briggs Personality Type test and is free:


Free Jung Personality Test (similar to MBTI / Myers Briggs)

And as an aside, what I've just said goes for me, too.

[Sohappy]

Thanks, TG.

Me too, I wish there were more varied types of positions that provided decent income.

Money is a tough issue because there is never enough and it's what most fight over. And it hasn't been easy for me in the past. I struggled getting a job after losing my job.

I am never sure how to respond to those scales tests.
In College, I took those tests but the counselor still couldn't say what I should do with my life. She said anywhere from A to Z (broad range of careers). At university, I took those tests too again when i had to change my major again. And the counselor couldn't help me either and said anywhere from A to Z again. I saw the career counselor multiple times that I got reported to the Student Affairs. I petrified that they were telling me that I must have seen a counselor more than 30x in a short time span and they said that wasn't normal. So I basically was told to stop going, so I did.

Anyhow, I appreciate your suggestions.

[TheGal]

(((SH)))

It's not easy.

So sorry the counsellors weren't much help. And so sorry about your having been reported to student affairs. That must've been a difficult ordeal at a time when you needed help.


If anyone knows about how difficult it is to get proper employment after having been out of the loop, it's me. So I can appreciate where you're coming from.


I'm concerned, though, that if you were to make a decision to give up art altogether, then you might become more depressed. I know you're in a conundrum over the cost of supplies, but use what you have. Even if it's just a charcoal pencil and a sketchbook to feed your soul in spite of all the nay-saying from the past be it from parents or art teachers or whomever. Keep creating. Let creating art be an act of defiance and of resilience.

As for money, you can learn to have a new, more confident relationship with it.

[Sohappy]

Thanks TG. It was one of many low moments for me.

Oh TG, I gave up art in 2004 when I lost my job and couldn't pay for art classes anymore. I only started getting supplies in Nov 2021 when I was finally feeling stable in my current job...

I did art class 5 years until 2004 but I never learned anything. My art teacher told me what to do and set me up with the reference. He only provided me feedback. I was unhappy going but I didn't know how to speak up for myself and I didn't what was the issue either. I thought I hated art. He was getting me to do these huge paintings of other artist's work which I hated doing but I didn't feel like I was allowed to complain because I was the student but I wasn't learning anything. And I didn't know what I wanted to do instead. I thought maybe art was wrong for me and maybe I wasn't an artist after all.

I gave up art so long. I couldn't even look at art anymore because I hated my experiences and I felt like a failure.

So I have already been away from doing art for so long. It's regretful.

The difference between now is that I am buying higher quality materials. When I was taking art classes, I was buying student quality paints because paying the art teacher was expensive.

I still don't do much artwork. My depression is getting bad. I ocd finding a good deal on high quality supplies and ordering it.

[Revenge Tour]

This is interesting. I have never heard of buying art supplies then regretting it. If you want to be an artist, GO FOR IT! Nobody has to approve your hobbies and it doesn't matter whether you think your art is worthy or not. The question, do YOU like it? If so, there's your answer. Life is too short and artists are cool.