How can I control my emotions around toxic coworkers?

you definately do not deserve to be miss treated

I think you feel bad about yourself and you project that other people feel bad about you. That’s a vicious cycle.

You got a new job. Focus on learning skills and procedures and focus on being a good employee and getting the pay check. Stop focusing on what people might think of you. Most people are so busy on the job they don’t have time to worry about who looks at them. Focus on learning the job skills, memorizing the steps and rules and gaining experience, not on punishing people you don’t even know.

You asked how can I control my emotions around toxic coworkers.

First these coworkers are not toxic. Nothing you’ve written says that they rise to that level.

You need insight into your thinking ing process to control your emotions. You seem to hate yourself so you ascribe bad qualities to normal behavior.

The woman who said big mama. Was likely brought up to think skinny is good. And was insecure and wanted you to affirm that. Instead you were insulted and told her off. She did apologize. So this is over with. Let it go. But no you are determined to “punish” her for your feeling bad. That bad feeling comes from your thought not hers.

Separate incident, three people did not respond to your good morning. That’s not toxic. It’s not an attack. There can be many reasons and none of them have to do with you. You need to change your thoughts from negative to positive to control you negative emotion. Instead of saying they are rude, they hate me, say they are self preoccupied and are not even thinking about me. And let it go. Then your emotion will not be a hateful one.

To change you emotions you need to change your thoughts, which seem to come from a place of self hate.

Sorry to hear about you being sick. She definitely insinuated that I’m fat.

You weren’t there obviously. I just got a bad bibe from her. I don’t think that I’m assuming anything.

I don’t hate myself & I’m not projecting or imagining or assuming things. This is what happened. Their behavior was NOT normal. Your perception of normal is off.

It doesn’t matter if that lacdy was raised to think skinny is good. It was extremely inappropriate to make that big momma comment. It’s an insult. It’s not cute or funny. It’s mean spirited, rude & very unprofessional.

Do you consider that professional appropriate workplace behavior?

What they all did was not normal or appropriate. Anyone who thinks it is, idk, wrong.

I sm focus img on my job. It’s kind of hard to do though when people kerp passing you around & seem to not want to help you or acting an oyrd when they do help out.

Agsin, you weren’t there. I know what happened & I’m not projecting or imagining things. I really am being bullied & disrespected.

No one thinks it’s appropriate or professional. No one on this thread said it’s cute or funny. Where did you see that?

No one thinks it’s appropriate or professional. No one on this thread said it’s cute or funny. Where did you see that?

How are you being bullied?

I just felt that everyone is expecting me to act like it’s no big deal.

I already explained that. I was fat shamed. Then those two women were looking at me up & down which is rude.

This is now kind and considerate of you! Note that she might have genuinely been unaware of the term plus size until you educated her. I had not known this term until long into my own journey in the plus size world. I do not know whether this is because long ago this term had not yet acquired widespread use, or because I simply had not been not exposed to it since it did not concern me personally.

If they continue staring, you could ask if there’s something in particular they are looking at or they want to say something to you. Ask politely like you really want to know

OK, thanks. What should I say if thst lady gets all touchy feely with me again? I hate being touched. It’s rude & invasive

Idk about that. Sll I know is that this lady is around my age. I’m guessing she’s around 45-50 years old. So she should know better.

And doesn’t everyone know that no one likes to be referred to as fat or big?

Idk about that. Sll I know is that this lady is around my age. I’m guessing she’s around 45-50 years old. So she should know better.

And doesn’t everyone know that no one likes to be referred to as fat or big?

I don’t know why you think it’s rude. Being touchy feely isn’t rude. Some people are huggers. They don’t mean to be rude. Recoiling and making faces at people is actually rude

Politely state that you are sorry but you are having hard time with touch or prefer not to be touched. Specify that it’s your issue, not theirs, so they don’t feel embarrassed.

Offer fist bump, shaking hands or high five instead. Or if you prefer zero touch as not even shake hands offer kind of encouragement like great job or something

Since about 10 years ago, I have followed, on and off, what is called Fatosphere: the blogosphere of body positive bloggers. Many of them are also part of HAES: Health At Every Size, the approach that you can engage in. healthy behaviors regardless of size and that weight loss should not be a goal of healthy behaviors.

Many in this community, fat people themselves, reclaim the use of the term "fat" (and big would be OK, too), as an objective term. They actually do not like the term "obese" which makes it appear a clinical disease. They would rather be called, objectively, fat. Check out the blog Dances with Fat: that blogger, being very big, has done marathons. It would blow your mind.

So no, it is not the case that no one likes to be referred as objective terms fat or big.

I have been called, very nicely by caring people, a big woman. I do not object to that. How would you call me if I am objectively big?!

I still think it’s inappropriate to touch people excessively who you don’t know.

I didn’t mean to react the way I did. It was a knee jerk reaction. She continued to touch me even after I tried to move away from her. I don’t understand why she’d still touch me after she could see I was visibly uncomfortable.