[Polperro]

For weeks now I have been playing at being happy for my friends and family well I cant do it anymore.

At the moment I am so sad and weary everything seems too much effort.
I smell like a yak I havent bathed for a few days.
I'm hungry but theres nothing in the house to eat and I cant be bothered to go shopping.
I'm in the same clothes I was in on Wednesday.

I hate it, god I hate me....... I'm such an rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr's

I just cant cope at the moment i'm slowly withdrawing from everyone.

I have all but given up on myself.....

I just need to know i'm not alone and that there is somebody out there that cares.

Polperro

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((((( Polperro )))))))))))))))))

[Elysium]

(((((Polperro)))))

We haven't talked on the forums before, I don't think, but I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone out there!! I hear you, and I can understand where you are at right now!!

I'm so sorry your mood is so very low!! It is always extremely difficult to even role over in bed when I get feeling so low.

I know it is also difficult to do good things for ourselves when we feel this low too, so I was wondering if you would do something for me!! I was wondering if you would draw yourself a nice warm bath, add some bubbles if you have some...and just sit and maybe light a candle and turn on some good music that you enjoy. Then just do your best to relax in the tub!!

Or....if the weather is good for you, step out and take in a walk...it doesn't have to be long, just enough to get some fresh air on your face and into your lungs!!

Sometimes, when I can't do something for myself, I am able to make myself do it if I say I'm doing it for someone else.

I do hope you get to feeling better!! keep posting here and we'll be here for you!!!

[googley]

Hugs! We care!
Could you ask any of your friends or family to do some shopping for you?
I hope you feel better!!!!

[Catherine2]

((Polperro))
Yes, we care and yes we understand
and
You are not alone
Standing With You...sitting if you prefer...

Catherine

[pegasus]

(((((((( Polperro )))))))))

I hope you know that I care. You can send me a PM anytime.

I know you are going through a difficult time, I understand. Please don't lose hope, hang on for the meds to kick in. I know this will sound trite but try to do at least one good thing for yourself each day. Whether that is having a shower or going for a walk or listening to music. You have to start the ball rolling in the right direction yourself. Have you heard of the wheel barrow analogy? There is a wheel barrow full of shitt and it's not going to move until you get up and start pushing it! And it's real hard to get that wheel barrow moving but once you start it does gets easier.

Thinking of you.

(((((((((Polperro)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I care kind one.
Remember this is the depression talking to you.
If you can do as ((pegs)) and ((Elysium3006)))) said.
If it gets worse tell someone ok IRL
Keep talking to us thou as we care about you
remember
((((((you matter here)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[justfloating]

(((((((((((polperro))))))))))))

I'm sorry you're so low right now. I understand and I care. Be as good to yourself as you can, and keep us posted on how you're doing. You matter.

[Pomegranate]

I totally understand what you are feeling. Been in the same spot myself several times. I hope you will decide to take care of yourself, even in some small way, like taking a nice bath as elysium suggested, or changing even one article of clothing. Most importantly I hope you will go see a pdoc or therapist. You deserve to feel better.

[Polperro]

Thankyou all, for being there for me, it is appreciated.

All I have done today is sat brooded i havent drawn the curtains back, i've sat in the dark all day.

All i've eaten today is a half a bowl of ceral with milk thats on the turn.

I just dont seem to be able to do anything.

I should be happy I received today a job offer subject to various checks, but you know what,.... I couldnt give a stuff about it.

My brother called me on the house phone and I cringed and didnt answer the phone and felt really bad about it but i couldnt answer it.

He called round I didnt answer the door, i was sat in my lounge like a rabbit caught in the head lights of a car, my heart was pounding and I was holding my breath so he wouldnt hear me breath eventually he left.

I feel things are getting worse not better......

Polperro

[notz]

Polperro - you've got to move a muscle. Get going with the job, man. We'll talk more, I'm on my way out the door.

[Amazonmom]

Polperro,

I have been where you are. Down to the no bathing,no changing clothes, not eating...everything. I care.

I am so sorry that you are there. I wish I could make it all go away for you.

If you follow through on the job stuff now, you will have much less to regret later when the depression does lift.

It doesn't look like it ever will lift....but it will.

Please please please see a pdoc or therapist. You are worth it. I stared at my phone for 5 hours getting ready to make that first call. It's worth it. You can do it.

Originally Posted by Polperro

For weeks now I have been playing at being happy for my friends and family well I cant do it anymore.

At the moment I am so sad and weary everything seems too much effort.
I smell like a yak I havent bathed for a few days.
I'm hungry but theres nothing in the house to eat and I cant be bothered to go shopping.
I'm in the same clothes I was in on Wednesday.

I hate it, god I hate me....... I'm such an rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr's

I just cant cope at the moment i'm slowly withdrawing from everyone.

I have all but given up on myself.....

I just need to know i'm not alone and that there is somebody out there that cares.

Polperro

[daggy]

Polperro
can you slowly put together a positive list in your head to get motivated? Just start with the simplest thing and move on to the next then the next . I t might be hard in the beginning but as you get a roll on things should become easier for you . even just pulling the curtains back or throwing out the old milk so you have to do something.
It might sound silly and trite but when I get that way and get so muddled and stalled in life that I have to just take a deep breath and start with the little things in life.
Going a few days without a shower isn't that bad but the feeling you get when your nice and clean after one is great and then the world might look a bit brighter for you .
hope that helped .
And remember no matter where you are there is always someone that cares.

[tarabug922]

Polperro,

I wanted to let you know that I hear you when you say you are so low you can't do anything. Eating, changing clothes, bathing everything seems like such a burden. I hear to that you're very sad. What makes you so sad? Is there something besides the depression weighing on you? You can talk to me, I'm here to listen. I will even give you my phone number if you PM me. I'm sorry you were unable to respond to your brother. I bet he's very worried about you. He probably feels that things are getting worse instead of better. I want you to know there are options out there. If you look in your phone book there should be a number for a suicide crisis line. You don't have to be suicidal to call, and those people are there 24/7 to listen. If there's not a local suicide hotline for you call 1-800-suicide. It's amazing what talking to these people can do. They give you room to just breath and let it all out. Very supportive, loving space which you could probably do with now.

All my love and more,
Tara

Originally Posted by Polperro

Thankyou all, for being there for me, it is appreciated.

All I have done today is sat brooded i havent drawn the curtains back, i've sat in the dark all day.

All i've eaten today is a half a bowl of ceral with milk thats on the turn.

I just dont seem to be able to do anything.

I should be happy I received today a job offer subject to various checks, but you know what,.... I couldnt give a stuff about it.

My brother called me on the house phone and I cringed and didnt answer the phone and felt really bad about it but i couldnt answer it.

He called round I didnt answer the door, i was sat in my lounge like a rabbit caught in the head lights of a car, my heart was pounding and I was holding my breath so he wouldnt hear me breath eventually he left.

I feel things are getting worse not better......

Polperro

(((Polperro))))))))))))))))))
open the curtains. Eat at least 2 meals. Please answer your brothers calls or open the door.
Pick up the phone and call your brother back ask for help its ok to do that.
Most of all call your Dr. If its getting worse please get help.
as we all care about you
you do matter.

[madisgram]

(((polperro))) gosh your descriptions took me back to when i was just where you are right now. please consider calling your pdoc. you need his/her help seriously right now. i could go into all the things i couldn't do or felt but you already know. you are living it right now. we care about you here at pc. please keep us posted on how you are doing. even baby steps are progress. please try to call your pdoc, first.you are of worth and value even if right now it seems so bleak and dark. hold on to us until you can find the hope again. i care.

[Berries]

(((((((((((Polperro)))))))))))

Keep reaching out here and start reaching out there. Call family, friends, professionals, whoever you can. Please. I care! We all care here!!!

[Miracle1986]

(((Polperro)))
Please know that I care.

[Polperro]

To everybody who has responded to this thread, I want to say thankyou so much.

I am far from right, I'm still withdrawn but I think I am over the worst of it,
so once again thank you for being there for me and I know you ALL care..

Polperro

[Berries]

Originally Posted by Polperro

To everybody who has responded to this thread, I want to say thankyou so much.

I am far from right, I'm still withdrawn but I think I am over the worst of it,
so once again thank you for being there for me and I know you ALL care..

Polperro

(((((((((((polperro)))))))))))

I know you say you have a ways to go, but i am sooooooo glad you say you are over the worst.
And so glad that you know we ALL care!

[daggy]

polperro
Glad to hear your feeling at least a little better . And now you can start to feel a little bit more and so on .Life just gets on top of us every now and then and its hard to see the roses but they are there as everyone will tell us - and now you can see 1 there are heaps to come ----
In other words yippee yipppeee just run around a bit and go silly - then tell us you don't feel even more better
I just have to ask -- was it the milk that made a difference ?

Anyhow good on you keep it up and