Slippery slope

Hello All --

I guess it's no mystery that people who are jobless or have money troubles may experience situational depression.

I thought I was doing well, despite everything. Since taking over handling my bills from my mother, the reality of the situation I created during the 20 months I was nonfunctional has come crashing in on me. Overall, I think it's good that I am facing up to this responsibility, but it is scarey and has been pushing me down that slippery slope again.

I started using neurontin again to help me sleep. This is a noncomforming use of neurontin, which is used to control epileptic seizures, which I don't have. It also has been implicated in causing depression, I think only in young adults so far, and I'm not young. However, my metabolism handles a lot of meds in non-common ways. No need to list them here.

At any rate, I decided to stop taking the neurontin again. I am taking half of one PM pain pill, which uses benadryl as the sleeping agent. This is not good for the liver, but a half cap is one-quarter the normal adult dose. Two caps would make me sleep for more than 24 hours, so this is another way that my body doesn't process meds normally.

Even with the half-cap, however, I am up till 3 a.m. Then I sleep til 9 or 10 a.m. I've been up the past two or three nights like this. The depression is lifting a little -- but with the problems I have to confront, it's hard to tell whether the depression is situational or physiological.

Because of this mood of "I don't care" that's settlled upon me, I am feeling as if "I don't care" if I sleep til noon -- even though I really do care enough to try to roust myself from bed by at least mid morning.

If depression alleviates even a little, that's a blessing, because the pain of the really low points is much worse than the 'I don't care. Life is a drag' level of depression. So I've made a choice that staying up til all hours is better than going to sleep using a pill that may increase depression.

I know all the remedies to bring sleep on--

camomile tea

always go to bed at the same

use bed only for sleeping, not reading, watching TV etc.

dark room

white noise machine

don't do stimulating activities right before bedtime

exercise (ha,ha -- it has helped in the past, but I don't and should)

I can't use melatonin or warm milk

I wish I could have a happy surprise like Pat had.

Thanks for reading

Hi Wants,

I hope it gets easier for you; things sound rough at the moment.

You know my views on the work situation. If we are ill, then we shouldn't have to work. Also having money worries on top of depression is a rotten cocktail.

Re the sleep thing. I sleep a lot, and sometimes function better at night. Depression seems to do something to our body clock, and I've found that it's easier to go with it than to fight it. That's how it is for me anyhow. I agree with you about the staying up and the pill. Even in depression our bodies are telling us something, and I try to go with the flow if I can.

I know it's not much but you have my empathy on this one.

Cheers, Myzen.

Wants2Fly, don't you think that you should contact your t or pdoc about this? I think that you should let him/her know that you're having a hard time right now and could use some help in getting over this hurdle.

((((((((((((((((((((WTF)))))))))))))))))))))

I am so sorry you having such a rough time right now. Maybe some T sessions would be a good idea to help you deal with all that your going through.
Sometimes, something that helps me sleep in addition to the chamomile tea is a nice, hot soothing bath. I just soak and lay back and close my eyes. Usually I will turn the light off and light a few candles. This creates a very soft, peaceful atmosphere. Just close your eyes and clear your mind. After I get out, my muscles are so relaxed and I am able to sleep well. Something to try.
Also, I dont know how you feel about this but over the counter Tylenol PM. WOW. It works very well. Dosage says to take 2 but dont. 1 Does me just fine. I hope you feel better soon. My thoughts are with you and I'm sending you some peaceful and sleepy vibes for tonight. Take care dear friend. Much Love.

Hi Jmo -- I'm post menopausal and live in Florida. Hot baths used to be luxurious, but now they just make me feel too warm. The half PM pain pill that I use is a generic tylenol pm pain med.

Wants, I am so sorry that you're feeling so low and having trouble sleeping.......you're right about money problems..i'm so sick of having to worry about buying some little something.......and as you said, we're older and the future can look scary.......i'm glad you're taking the painpm med.....if i can do anything for you, pleae PM me....i don't work tomorrow, so i can stay up tonight.....love, pat

(((((((((((((((WantsToFly)))))))))))))))))))))

First of all, Neurontin is not just for seizures; I take 1500 mgs/3X a day....for severe migraines. I thought the guy was crazy b/c adverse effects, written in bold italics it says "suicidal ideation"...... Since I have Dxed with Major Depressive Disorder since 1984 & have a resume of OD's I'd rather not get into........it does more than "primary purposes" TMI...I know.......

Staying up instead of taking a pill is NOT the answer; that's what I was doing when I did my "infamous no-no" on the forum a month or so ago,,,,Staying up causes sleep-deprivations; which causes unclear thinking; which causes emotional instability; I spent 6 nights/days straight; I fell off chairs onto a very hard concrete floor....exhausted from no sleep. You're body freaks out when you push it to extremes....trust me. Pill or no pill....hon.....you NEED your sleep!!

w/ DAYZEE9

Wants, I hope you're feeling better today. The sun is trying to shine and that's always a good thing..xoxox pat

Hello All -- Lots of sunshine here in Florida. I appreciate your well wishes. Praying for the Light to penetrate my negativity.

....I'm slidding right down next to you, maybe that's ok? sigh. Trying HARD NOT to become so depressed and it's like I have NO control over it... the black cloud engulfs... and I can't take any anti depressant...

neurontin is also used for tremor , non epiliptic, like that comes with MS and myelopathy... but I can't take it either.

do what works for you. keep trying. (as for the white noise, that didn't help me, but the delta brain wave cd I got from my T...that makes my brain comply... unless the pain is to high...)