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#801
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why do I feel this way now when I don't have any support, why am I always the one that is wrong, why am I putting myself through all of this...
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*Somewhere behind the athlete you've become, and the hours of practice, and the coaches who pushed you, is the little girl who fell in love with the sport, and never looked back.* |
#802
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Why do I consistantly say that I will do something for someone else, and feel guilty if I don't?
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C'est la vie |
#803
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today i got a tattoo....really helped in some odd weird way but other then that i didnt do much...i also got a hair cut which made me eel better about my personal appearance.
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#804
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My head aches. I ache all over. Just the other day I was riding a bicycle. Thursday, I went down hill. Besides the sadness and fear, I have all this physical discomfort. I think it is all due to my state of mind. I don't think I have the strength to recover. The achyness feels rotten = like having the flu
Worries about job prospect, about alcoholic family member calling me with weird requests, and sig. other needing to go to hospital. The banging in my ear worse. |
#805
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Quote:
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__________________
As I lay down in bed each night I look up at the stars and wonder "where the heck is my ceiling?" ![]() |
#806
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The noise in my ear is much less today, and I am thankful for that. I have my Sig. Other here, but I have to be careful not to show too much depression, or he will get mad. I feel very bad and have terrible anxiety, which is worse to feel than the depression.
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#807
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Quote:
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#808
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Hoping that I don't have anything seriously wrong.
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C'est la vie |
#809
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I wonder if the three little pigs ever thought they might be famous?
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#810
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How will I ever make it?
Maybe today I will make a list of some things I would like to do... and a list of some things I need to talk about in therapy. I think the meds are lifting my mood by the smallest fraction. God, I pray they will help. I am totally worn out from being cornered. I just need some fight back. The opposite of depression isn't even happiness to me - it's caring about what happens.
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Keep this in mind, that you are important. |
#811
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I wonder if at my age (upper 30's) I will ever get to experience falling in love. Gosh, it is sure lonely never had been in love.
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#812
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I know I shouldn't be mad. I'm trying not to be mad. I am mad though. I want this whole thing to go back to normal. I don't like this change.
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#813
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Quote:
I'm sorry you're feeling lonely and sad about this aspect of your life. Although I was in love before, I can appreciate how difficult and how painful this topic is. I'm of a similar age and although I had sometimes been in love, it's usually been completely hopeless with no prospect of anything developing. That's very painful, too. I know what it feels like to long for someone being close to you and for being with someone and it's tough if this doesn't happen. People tell me that it doesn't matter when one meets someone who's right for one and that it will all be worth it then, but sometimes one doubts whether it will happen. I'm trying hard not to think too much about it and hold on to all the good things in my life even if that excludes children (that has been a sore point this year after having to undergo surgery) and - for the moment - a partner. Try and do something that makes you really really happy or meet / talk to a good friend and things will at least for the moment feel better. You are in my thoughts and please take care of yourself. Many hugs to you, Shadow-world ![]() ![]()
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As long as we dream, we are still alive. |
#814
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going to sleep now because there is nothing else to do
besides, it's the only known thing I'm still good at except for that last part.. where I wake up |
#815
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hope the tests go well.
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#816
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Think how sad (me for one) others would feel if you didn't wake up? maybe after you sleep and wake up, you will feel some better.
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![]() ExiExi
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#817
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I actually feel nothing bad at the moment, just numb, thanks to it looking like I've got a part-time job. I can't get feeling good, somehow, because I am suspicious of everything until I see how it really is.
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#818
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What are they going to do to me tomorrow?
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C'est la vie |
#819
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I think that if I posted every single day under this thread "What's On Your Mind?", it would be the same thing all the time. I wish it wouldn't be, but I think it would read the same. Such as, loneliness and fatigue.
For Clouds & Sun and Shadow World, I can appreciate how you feel. I think that the reason that I have such a hard time with showing love and warmth is because I do not feel love for myself. As a matter of fact, I hate who I am right now and have for a long time. I think that I have to care something about myself in order for anyone to be able to do the same. Who would want to spend any amount of time with me when I am so disgusted with myself. |
#820
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Woke up irritated, frustrated, angry, intruded upon, and a wee bit paranoid. It's going to be one of those days...
__________________
As I lay down in bed each night I look up at the stars and wonder "where the heck is my ceiling?" ![]() |
#821
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I didn't get much sleep. A few hours. I'm angry and depressed. I just want to be happy. I just want to be happy with him. I miss him. Wake up soon.
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#822
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4 days ago, I tumbled from feeling kind of "up" to being very anxious and depressed. The upcoming new job fills me with forebodings of things going wrong. I haven't seen a pdoc in ages due to cancelations. I feel like I have no professional that is really involved.
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#823
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I feel less and less connected with my Mom and Dad.
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Medications: Venlafaxine (Effexor) 75mg dailyDivalproex (Valproic Acid) 600mg daily Seroquel (Quetiapine) 100mg daily ZMAN
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#824
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Last two or three days have been as bad as I can remember in a while. I'd rather stay in bed and hope for a better next day, but I got up and went to work somehow. I have no emotion whatsoever. I am just breathing and existing, not living.
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![]() emptybee15
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#825
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not really getting any replies from anyone here....but today just felt there...my body was there working and what not but the rest of me was just gone.i sometimes feel like not being alive dont think anyone would miss me...but the only thing really keeping me from doing anything drastic...is the fact that its so selfish.
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