Daily Check In - Ups and Downs

this life is draining...

I'm finally getting back into the world again and feel my social anxiety coming back too..but I'll keep trying...sigh...

I had a pretty good day, despite being very tired.

My second post here today...bad night..I have been triggered by my volunteering at the shelter today...my depression was/is related to pet loss. Most people in my life have no idea the pain I have gone through because of my pets.. Of course I do not blame the animals one single bit. It's just my personality. Some days I wish I had a card that had my story on it that I would be brave enough to hand out to people so they could understand me better...sigh...I wish I wasn't the way I am... (it's so good to be able to get these feelings out. thank you PC)

Don't know where the day went? Forgot to eat, threw some cheese on rye, and ate some yogert at 9pm. Now it's 1:30am!

Ok morning so far. I took today and Monday off of work, so I am really looking foward to my 4 day weekend. I am a little bummed that my H has to work Saturday and Sunday, but it is their busy time, so I'm not surprised. Here's hoping for a good day!

Still tired and interest in getting things done is flagging. I've told myself to get at least one thing done today.

cleaned the entire house thoroughly all day. wow. but I'm all alone...

Not sleeping much, so today I took time out to lay in bed for a couple hours-it helped. I was more productive when I got up that on the days I just push myself though.

i am worst.. i dont think i could gert going!

i feel so sad and been crying a lot i hate this

I started getting depressed, but I came out of it.

am productive but can't stop the energy, feel weird- insomnia, wired, palps, anxiety, overstimulated, racing beat...damn meds

up and down, mostly down gotta hang in there, it's gonna get better.

Feel so lonely today, I miss my old friends. All I want right now is just someone to talk to.

Crying, hurting inside, self-hating, SU ideation, nauseous, diarrhea, can't stop shivering, can't shake the cold inside, lonely...
I had a good weekend
I ate right, didn't drink, & took care of myself
I'm a good person...try to treat others w respect and empathy...
Why do I have to feel like this?

Depressed and having SI urges. I haven't given into the urges yet, and I hope I can stay strong.

I HATE my life and I have no idea how to fix it

Tired, sleeping a lot. If not sleeping--getting lost in old scy-fi books.

Am being triggered again. First it was re pet loss and its consequences.. now, am trying to help someone deal with their guilt issues and it is bringing to surface old guilt that I had already resolved but I guess is still around. My head understands what happened but the heart is another thing. I really need to find a job and it is hard with my present mental state.

The anime convention here in Seattle for three was overall fun and exciting. I met new people and awesome cosplayers then the guests of honor whom I was really stoked to meet.

Now that's done, I'm currently not feeling well; back pains, colds and headaches. Ouch!

Better, I had a a terrible 3 days, last week 3 days. Don´t know why, maybe because the menopause symptoms.

I am very depressed.

Born to die

am i really that pathetic, horrible and unworthy to never deserve to have any friends or no life whatsoever:?

My sister called me fat *****. Makes me feel like a pieace of crap.