Daily Check In - Ups and Downs

I wish you serenity and strength and every single thing... that will put your heart at ease.

Grumpypa, thank you from the bottom of my heart for this. I am bipolar, my mood has turned to very deep depression, and my heart is hurting. Your saying gave me a tiny bit of hope. God bless you for that

It's been a week since I've been at work due to the flu. I go back in tomorrow. Feeling very anxious. The unstructured time off has kicked in my "doom and gloom" mood. I am worried I won't be able shake it and I'll end up going in tp work an emotional wreck.

I've had a very intense 24 hours and I think I made some major realizations (some painful) but I am feeling better now and looking forward to seeing my new T tomorrow.

Not so good today......weekends for me are usually not too bad, but long holiday weekends are awful. Took my daughter and some of her friends down to watch the town Memorial Day parade. Trying not to let my mood bring her down. Feeling lonely.

Got a job again so almost a week of not posting here but still has this loneliness feeling in my gut. I really feel left out now, I guess it's time for me to be isolated...

(((konrei))) That lonely feeling sucks I get that in a room full of people. Please don't be isolated that's why we are here.

Having a really bad few days....Hate working with my unorganized Hubby, hate not knowing whats the right way to help the school and my son deal with his defiant behaviors at school.
The school treats it like its intentional, but wont do anything to change it except make deals that they don't enforce except when its easy for them - ADHD-I research says its not and that rewards are the answers to all, I am lost and frustrated and just want to run away and hide from Every1 & Everything.

Feeling a little pessimistic today, cant get rid of these negative thoughts

Feeling unbelievably bored, craving stimulation....wondering what I can get myself into....but overall getting better.

Had a nice relaxing weekend with my husband. We spent a couple nights in a hotel room. It was so nice to get away from the house and forget about everything and just spend time together. Today hasn't been so good. I am in a really bad mood right now, and I am dreading work tomorrow.

I've seen better days. Just trying to cheer myself up with some music.

Hi all,

I just wanted to post because it helps me feel less alone. Overall, I'm doing ok, but since I don't talk about my mood with people face to face that often, I still feel kind of isolated. I am thinking of everyone and sending to any who need/want them.

I totally know the feeling, turquoise. Big hugs to you.

I finally got some temp work so am happy about that but now have to work on my chronic sleep deprivation. Have not had a good night's sleep in almost 12 years because I have acid reflux. Tried meds but they have side effects and also their acid-reducing function doesn't make any sense to me. I am supposed to sleep with my head elevated but I would wake up tired every day so stopped doing that but but I finally relented 2 years ago because things got bad...so I wake up tired every day. A few days ago, I started going back to sleeping flat again but it makes my back very sore so I now wake up tired and in pain...I don't care for those memory foam thingies...I just need some sleep..I know I will be less depressed if I do...

I am completely freaked out right now. I sing in a choral group and we had a rehearsal tonight. I was in my car waiting to leave the parking lot when I saw one of our members get hit by a car as she was trying to cross the road. It happened right in front of me.

I'm soooo tired today, that I just want to do nothing but can't cause I have to go to work. Life has been really stressful lately but for the first in along time. I don't feel so alone.

(((Mommilady))) aw hun I am so sorry to hear about your friend and of course you. its hard being in an accident but it can be just as hard to get over when you witness it.
Heres sending some positive energies to hopefully help you.
Still on a major slide down but am trying to fight back that's why I am checking in here you guys are my safe, sane place.
Sending Hugz and Yay's to all of you and thanks for the hugz.

Amazed I'm still here. Thursday went and begged for any non hospital help, to be safe, was handed a fist full of scripts!! Went home and stayed in bed afraid to fill them for fear I would take all of them.

Starting IOP tonight. Scared beyond words, yet wanting to be hope.

There really needs to be a light at the end of the tunnel that is not a train! There really needs to be an end to this tunnel! It feels neverending & never changing.

I am in my apartment and not too afraid to be here alone. That's a big improvement. My neck is better.

And it just keeps getting worse....I didn't think that was possible. I am ready I swear to disappear from everything and everyone. I love my children, I love my husband, I hate my life and who I have been pretending to be for over 30yrs. I am not that polite respectful, its ok person....on the inside right now I am screaming 24/7 please stopping hurting me I CAN'T take anymore. Stop lying, stop deciding for me, stop telling me that I am over reacting it will all work out, stop treating me like a weak little flower who can't make a decision on her own. Stop making all the important decisions then as an after thought, once its already done bring it to me. The only way this is going to work out is if they all STOP and realize that being taken advantage or for granted of can only go on for so many years before there is nothing more to give. Right now I have nothing more.

Having a hard day

I'm frustrated, and down in the dumps. I'm having abandonment issues right now, and having a hard time feeling attractive. I really just want one on one with my partner but its not happening and it feels like a blow to my confidence. Cause I just don't what to do, I keep trying but nothing happens. Its really frustrating and just adds to all my other feelings, then I also find my self wondering if she's still attracted to me or if I'm to skinny or to big for her, or does she just not want to see me or does it even have anything to with me? I don't know just spinning and my mind is going everywhere
Thanks for letting me share everyone.

Good Morning to All!

Imabananin I'm sorry you're feeling down today. I have those worries about my partner too at times. Last night in fact.

imabananin and gary290, i not have a relationship, i actually think i am ruined for ever. But i do share the feelings that i am unattractive to anyone, and that i am too depressed to be with anyone.

Thus, i am lonely and confused and depressed and would you believe mixed up too!

Its so nice to know other people feel the same way, and be able to share about it.
I hope that everyone's day brightens up !

I have not had a good couple of days. My fault. I think the Adoption /PTSD thread opened a whole can of worms for me (I am remembering a string of horrible things that I wish would have stayed buried), my T is leaving the practice and I'm trying to not default to negative thinking, but I am spirling.

Trying not to, though.