Daily Check In - Ups and Downs

I liked the film, too, and really enjoyed reading the book - even more than watching the film. In case you haven't read it yet, I do recommend it.
I do concur with what you have said above with regards to empowering statements to oneself.

Hugs.

downs...even the ups are downs 712

Trying real hard to be grateful for things in life but not having a job really gives me a feeling of a lack of purpose.....

Why not sleep till noon?

Why move at all?

I feel I have nothing to say

What's the point?

Darnit get up and move anyway maybe u should just think my purpose for the moment is to just do something and not sit here trying to find a reason to.

Why do i need a reason

Just move

Don t think or ponder on it just get up and do something today do something do something do something

Feeling pretty good this morning. I'm teetering on the edge of extremely happy and sad. It's a little weird for me, I've never really felt this way before, but I'm going to enjoy the happy feelings right now and try to embrace them!

Feeling depressed and anxious this evening. Very busy and stressed at work.

had a wonderful long weekend camping with my partner and friends. It was a wonderful escape/distraction. I'm really sad to be done camping and be back in civilization.
It was a great weekend to bad it had to end, and to bad all my negative thinking is coming back too now that I don't have that distraction..

Today is still bad. Yesterday I had to take 10 Klonopin when I am only supposed to take up to 1. The anxiety was that bad. I was hearing things all day and yelling at everything. The only positive about today is most of the day I just slept. Now I am up again. I listen to music to drown out any noise but other times its overpowering. I am completely hopeless and feel worthless. My crappy art keeps getting kicked out of places or in fact make the places out of business. I am the Dark One. The Dark Power of Influence. That's me! My brother keeps on being himself but I love him. He is huggable and lovable. I am just so tired. No energy whatsoever. I just don't care about things. There are mice in the house as well. It is because I live in the middle of nowhere in the year 1812. Real high tech, eh? There are some areas out here that hasn't even invented electricity! Literally. When I first moooooooved (yes I meant to sound like a cow as that is our population out here) here in the Middle of Nowhere year 1800 (2000 city year) cable TV hasn't been invented and same with high speed internet. I am a realist and grandpa is a realist and we form a team, "Keeping it Real." That makes me proud. The problem is that my psychologist wants me to take an IQ test. I have a phobia of IQ tests since on most of my IQ tests I only score between 78 and 85, Borderline Intellectual Functioning. Just not that bright.

I meant every word......I have seen you so many times where you have reached out to others on here and shown compassion, care and understanding that to me makes you a very rare gem in this world and I think you need to hear it as well as convince yourself its true.

Huge Hugz
Nams

Im sooooo tired today that my eyes hurt. So stressed and its not getting better. I wish someone cared about me as much as I care about them.

Rotton! I can not keep friends at all, I am just a loser. I am too sensitive or I am not "cool" enough and when one person hate's me they spread rumors about me and my "so called friends" listen to them. Why am I here (as in alive)?

Yesterday was a really bad day for me, filled with emotional outbursts and lots of crying, not over one particular thing but a lot of things all at once. Just overwhelming, didn't sleep much last night and the new day is already here... not sure how I will get through this one.. but I will.

The good thing is, there must have been like 5 times yesterday when I really really just wanted to cut myself, BUT I DIDN'T DO IT. I guess I should be thankful I had the strength to resist doing that to myself.

I guess this is the daily check in. Hi, I'm Gary and I deal with depression and anxiety as well as recovering from alcoholism (2 yrs). Feeling anxious today. Also moderately depressed. Ran out of neurontin and dealing with withdrawal. I'm glad I found PsychCentral. to connect to.

Horrible day at work! My line manager seems to have in other words told me that I'm not where I should be for the band / grade I am on and that some of my work is "shoddy". I was deeply hurt by it and am trying not to feel like an absolute loser.

I am very calm today and woke up in a mellow headspace. I was practicing my mindfulness this morning, laid down and tried to notice everything going on in my body. I went for a bike ride and had a good workout, pretty good pace too. When I came back I laid down and did the mindfulness thing again and stretched and noticed all the different things going on and felt all the muscles being warm and lose in some areas and tight in others. Just took a hot shower and have a huge appetitie now. I feel like I have energy but the good kind, not the nervous kind. Meditation and mindfulness and exercise are the best!!!

The only reason I am currently eating is so I don't have hunger pains...but otherwise If I don't see the point.

On the other hand I have definitely been where Hellion is at today too :-(

I'm sorry.

I will fix you some of this!

This is eggs from the farmer's market, and kale, chives and radishes from my garden topped with nutritional yeast which is high in B vitamins that are supposed to be good for depression.

(my first time attaching a photo so I hope it works)

Yesterday was awful. I was hurt and lonely and crying. This morning I got numbed up by my morning meds, which I omitted yesterday. Ritalin and Neurontin - they numb me. I get a good deal of mental pain relief from these meds.

(((Triciadrich))) You sound so very much like me. Those same words go through my head. Isn't it so hard to compare how life was with how life is. Very tough to consider. Like you, I ponder and ponder.

Have been in bed a few days, got up today because the inspector was supposed to be here between 9am and 2pm--never showed. Tried to read a few threads but I just really want to go back to bed. Maybe next week will be better.Really can't think of one thing to live for right now.

I have a job interview tomorrow morning, and I am very nervous about it. Wish me luck.....

Good luck agma! In other news, the voices and visions continue. I feel like doing something that I won't get into here.

I've spent most of the day in bed -0 depressed. My S.O. told me I'm just a lazy person laying on her behind when I could be out there working. He may very well be right. I condemn myself mercilessly.

However, I don't think I want anymore unsolicited condemnation from him. This is radical, but - I don't think I want to ever again here anything from him. He has abused me for years.

Rose hun hugz being sent. To me it sounds like you might be right. Depression is hard enough to deal with without someone standing behind you criticizing you about the symptoms that you are trying to work through. You are cared for by a great many people here and we understand what you are dealing with in many ways. Whatever you decide to do hun I for one will be here for you when you need it.
Nams

I had a bad day today. I had 2 job interviews but only prepared for and was expecting one. I had the first round interview at 8:30 this morning, and that went pretty well. Then around 9, my supervisor emailed me and asked if I could do the 2nd round interview at 9:45. The second interview was horrible. I was so nervous and I didn't have any time to prepare or decompress from the first interview. I will be very surprised if they offer me the job. Oh well, part of me didn't want that job anyways. The second interview put me in such a bad mood for the rest of the day.

I'm having a bad day too. Well, except that I got to see my friend from NY for a bit today so that helped but other than that I've felt pretty down. I did something I shouldn't have done yesterday and now I have a huge mess in front of me that I don't know how to clean up and I don't know what's going to happen and I'm scared. There. I said it. I'm scared. *goes off pouting*

Hi everyone - I'm new here and it's taking forever for my posts to go through. So in the event this takes a couple of days, Happy Memorial Day!

I've had the flu and have been stuck in bed for a few days. Unstructured time is not my friend! I get super depressed and anxious in addition to my baseline depression. I've been diagnoses with Major Depressive D/O since childhood. Most recent diagnosis is upgraded to Bipolar Type II . Also socially phobic. So much for the introduction.

Check in today = moderate depression comes and goes every 30 minutes or so. And moderate anxiety constant. I really want to self medicate with ANYTHING! But I quit drinking and smoking, the psych meds killed my libido - so no sex, and I'm trying to diet! WTF! No wonder I'm depressed

Gary