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#976
Sep 20, 2012, 12:33 PM
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Came home yesterday after being hospitalized for a week. Never been in the hospital before. Feeling down and sleepy.
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 Bark, ExiExi, Nammu, Rachel.i, TerryL, whimsygirl
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#977
Sep 20, 2012, 01:41 PM
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Woke up multiple times during the night; at least I was able to get back to sleep. Saw my counsellor for about half an hour, finally. It helped to talk a bit, vent a little about how I'm feeling. Even though I naturally worry, I shouldn't be constantly thinking about what will happen if the medication doesn't work. I need to wait another week at least. That reminds me, I'm supposed to see the doctor after two weeks. I should try setting an appointment for next week tomorrow.
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| ExiExi, Nammu, Rachel.i, TerryL, whimsygirl
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#978
Sep 20, 2012, 02:27 PM
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Today is better than yesterday. Less anxiety, less pain, a peaceful day without fear. Smiling faces and fluffy clouds. Planning to keep it that way.
 Too bad whenever I say something like this it's never true. I just want to have a day like this. Just one. It's been a long time..
__________________
Where, where I go - My spirit is free, I'm coming home Where, where I go - Remember me but let me go /Lacuna Coil |
| Bark, Nammu, Rachel.i, TerryL, whimsygirl
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#980
Sep 21, 2012, 12:11 AM
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Tired but can't sleep.
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| Bark, ExiExi, Rachel.i, TerryL, Turtleboy
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#981
Sep 21, 2012, 12:06 PM
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Today I'm taking my cat Riley (my best friend) to our beloved vet to have ultrasound and X-Rays done. He is 17 years old and a cancer survivor....he went through radiation and chemotherapy, and has been considered "cancer free" for about 6 years now. But now he's losing quite a bit of weight, so I'm worried. Hope my sweet boy is okay
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| Bark, dazedandonfused, Nammu, Rachel.i, TerryL, Turtleboy
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#982
Sep 21, 2012, 12:32 PM
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Didn't go to PC weeks ago because too busy on doing freelance. Currently sick as of now but my sister needs me to go out for errands. Sucks I know but it needs to be done.
__________________
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| Nammu, Rachel.i, TerryL, Turtleboy
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#983
Sep 21, 2012, 12:32 PM
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Got home around midnight, went straight to bed but could not sleep again, so had to take some extra med. Doc said this is okay, if I need to, so I have been it lately.Then I finally drifted off into a slumber of strange dreams. Before that a dear old friend had called and wants to meet up next week with another old friend who'll be in town, but today I feel the same as yesterday, not even looking forward to that when I should or would. But everything just looks bleak and grey. There is no sun out today and that's how I feel inside.
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| Bark, Nammu, TerryL, Turtleboy, whimsygirl
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#984
Sep 21, 2012, 02:43 PM
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My mind hasn't been pestering me today as much as yesterday, so I guess that's better. Forgot to make an appointment... I'll just wait till next week.
Anyone else get stressed out giving hugs on here? If I give them to everyone, I think they'd lose their meaning, but if I give to some and not to others, the others might feel like I'm saying they don't deserve any. I always stress over the little things. (((Hugs to all))) |
| Nammu, TerryL, Turtleboy, whimsygirl
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 Nammu, whimsygirl
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#985
Sep 21, 2012, 02:59 PM
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Quote:
 Hi Bark.....I COMPLETELY get what you're saying. It is sooo not just you, I have often wrestled with the very same thoughts. So I guess we both stress over little things...... 
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| Nammu
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| Bark, Nammu
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#986
Sep 21, 2012, 03:05 PM
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I took antidepressant early in AM but felt too depressed to get out of bed before 1130. Less depressed once I got up and did some necessary things. Hoping to get better organized related to some organizing some paperwork. My ability to focus is ok right now, but it varies from day to day. I suppose still adjusting to the antidepressant started two weeks ago.
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| Bark, TerryL, Turtleboy, whimsygirl
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#988
Sep 21, 2012, 03:51 PM
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Overwhelmed at work this week. Not finished everything I meant to finish there.
Probably won't before I go on annual leave on Thursday, but I try to be patient and just do what I can. I have kept myself extremely busy outside work, especially with exercising / doing new things, but it's been too much. I had just felt so bad last week when I had the final confirmation that the person I had been in love with for a long time does have a family indeed and has a happy family life in a beautiful city. I should feel happy for him, but I so hoped for us to have a chance. In order to stave off any more suicidal feelings, I threw myself into activities and now I feel overwhelmed, fragile and weepy and probably need to wind down and sleep.
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As long as we dream, we are still alive. |
| Bark, Nammu, Rose76, TerryL, Turtleboy, whimsygirl
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#989
Sep 21, 2012, 04:07 PM
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Have done alot today and studied well
 This makes me happy that no thoughts are racing through my mind 
__________________
 Walk on with hope in your heart, and you will never walk alone
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| Turtleboy
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| Bark, Nammu, Rose76, TerryL, whimsygirl
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#990
Sep 21, 2012, 04:53 PM
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Still very down. Woke up started crying thinking that I don't belong anywhere. Went back to sleep. Still tired and eyes hurt from crying. Since I was let go with no aftercare, no where to get meds I'm also weaning myself off of the lamictal. Guess it is a good thing they didn't get very far in the uping of doses.
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| Bark, Rachel.i, Rose76, Shadow-world, TerryL, Turtleboy, whimsygirl
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#991
Sep 21, 2012, 06:32 PM
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Quote:
(Rose)
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| Rose76
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#992
Sep 21, 2012, 06:42 PM
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Quote:
Hugs ~whimsy
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| Shadow-world
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#993
Sep 21, 2012, 06:46 PM
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Quote:
~whimsy
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| Nammu
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#994
Sep 21, 2012, 08:06 PM
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Kitty Update Riley's ultrasound and X-Rays today showed no sign of cancer returning. So relieved and grateful. Thanks to those who sent hugs to him!
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| Bark, ExiExi, Rose76, Shadow-world, Turtleboy
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| Bark, Rachel.i, TerryL
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#996
Sep 21, 2012, 09:16 PM
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My mood today was the most stable it has been in a long time. I'm glad it is the weekend, even if I am working tomorrow. Hope everyone has a good night and weekend!
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| ExiExi, Nammu, Rose76, Shadow-world, TerryL, Turtleboy, whimsygirl
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| alone in the world, Bark, CloudyDay99, ExiExi, Rose76, whimsygirl
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#997
Sep 21, 2012, 09:25 PM
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Day was eventful but by the afternoon I was begining to feel sad. lonely, unloved, unwanted just any negative word you can think of. trying hard now to bring myself back up without reaching out to my T.
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| Bark, CloudyDay99, ExiExi, Nammu, Rose76, Shadow-world, TerryL, Turtleboy, whimsygirl
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#998
Sep 21, 2012, 10:32 PM
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Quote:
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| Rachel.i
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#999
Sep 21, 2012, 11:28 PM
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 Feeling blah.
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| alone in the world, Bark, ExiExi, Nammu, Rachel.i, Rose76, TerryL, tigerlily84, Turtleboy
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