[Rose76]

Originally Posted by CloudyDay99

Preparing for week.

Preparing! There is power in that. It might turn out okay.

[Rose76]

I spent the day reading news magazines. I thought that was better than staying in bed, or just flipping channels on the TV.

Last week, on this day, at this time, I felt good. My place was all fixed up nice, and I had cooked. My S/O was here. Then the next day things went all kind of not good and I fell apart and have not recovered. I didn't used to be a really weak person.

Maybe tomorrow I'll pull up my socks.

[Rachel.i]

Had choppy sleep last night, don't feel too rested. The birthday party went well yesterday and I enjoyed it. But my husband and I had an argument. I know it's not realistic to think we'll never argue even though we've been together 30 years now but it still brings me down when we do. It brings back memories of the almost-daily emotional and verbal abuse my father gave me growing up, and how it made me feel like I would just go crazy if I didn't get away from him. Don't feel horrible but nor like doing much of anything today. Hate to be so negative.

[Rose76]

I feel lonely and sad.

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by Rose76

I feel lonely and sad.

(((( Rose ))))

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by Rachel.i

Had choppy sleep last night, don't feel too rested.

Me too.... Up and down a lot, and never could regroup in the sleep department.....ugh.

[whimsygirl]

Bad early morning. Woke up too early. Along with back pain, the Cats were jumping all over the bed, determined that I would not be going back to sleep. Finally gave up and got out of bed, definitely feeling crappy for the lack of rest, and with a nasty headache. Mood-wise actually not too bad so far. On the bright side, I'm really excited for the season premiere of "Dancing with the Stars" tonight.....I'm a big fan, and it's a "happy thing" for me. Plus just the fact that I'm ABLE to be excited about something is a good sign Off to make French Roast and hopefully make a good day. Warm wishes to everyone.....

[Bark]

Hm, I didn't mention how I finally did exercises for my back. I might have done some wrong, but it's been maybe four or more years since I was told how to do them, and I've never done all of them, so I'm cutting myself some slack. If it hurts, I must be doing it right.

Last night after I posted, I started feeling really... hyper. And giddy. And... basically not how I normally feel. It felt strange. I did a bunch of things, talked real fast to myself, and basically wanted to do everything except sleep, but I was tired. My plan had been to sleep close to midnight, and I ended up sleeping around 4 AM. Got a few hours, woke up tired, but... I was in a good mood. I'm still in a good mood. I was able to ignore the negative thoughts and think of better ones. I talked to a bunch of people, and felt more comfortable about it. I didn't mind having to call people on the phone. I was... better. I did have some anxiety, though, because these are things that I usually worry about or feel negatively about, and I found it tiring, but... I felt better. I feel better.

And I read maybe two pages last night just to see if it was easier. It was. I'll see what I can read tonight.

[Rachel.i]

Originally Posted by whimsygirl

Me too.... Up and down a lot, and never could regroup in the sleep department.....ugh.

Yep, ugh is right. Here's hoping we both get better sleep tonight.

[CloudyDay99]

I'm glad Monday is almost over. Tomorrow will be better.

[oliamble]

Hello everyone, good morning. I want to have a nice day full of positive thoughts and get rid of negative thoughts and feelings. Want to think about the time I have to pick up my kid from school and will spend quality time :-)

[Rose76]

I want to have a nice day full of positive thoughts and get rid of negative thoughts and feelings.

That's what I want to do to. (I hope I did the quoting right.) Thanks, Oli, for the inspiration.

[Rachel.i]

Slept so-so last night. I think I would've slept better if I had an answer to something important to me that I won't get till this evening at the earliest or maybe tomorrow, and also if my arthritic legs weren't hurting.

Have to get ready in a few hours to meet a friend I've known forever who is in town, to go out to eat and then to a blues club. We aren't close, haven't even seen her in three years, though we talk some on Facebook. But my best friend is coming along too and I don't see much of her these days.

My mood isn't too bad, and I know once I get there and get settled in I will have fun with those two.

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by Rachel.i

My mood isn't too bad, and I know once I get there and get settled in I will have fun with those two.

Hi Rachel......Sorry your legs are a painful subject But otherwise.....hope you have a great time later!

i have been feeling pretty good today.

mainly because my radio is fixed.. so i can listen to my wide variety of stations again.

yay

[Rachel.i]

Originally Posted by whimsygirl

Hi Rachel......Sorry your legs are a painful subject But otherwise.....hope you have a great time later!

Thank you, whimsy! Hope your day is good.

i try to keep going but it would be better if i could just fall asleep forever

[Nammu]

Not much hope. 3 times I've been refered to the same Pdoc...she does'nt take my insurence, she is a child Pdoc, and her first opening is in the 3rd week of Jan. I feel like giving up. Think more and more about Su, why continue on when I contribute nothing and it's not going to get better. Pretty clear to me that people have given up on me.

[whimsygirl]

I just need to let this out Well, I gave it a try today, but I've got to face it.....I'm back in the ditch, and too tired to climb out at the moment.....God only knows what tomorrow will bring. Up and down, and then again. So relentless. Tried to read a book my therapist recommended to me, looking for some inspiration, but my migraine will not allow it.....plus I really can't focus. Then I saw the deer out my kitchen window. I live in the country, where there is a lot of wildlife (I love that). I adore all animals, both inside and outside of the house. So there's this young buck in the yard, and one of his legs is so swollen, he's not even able to walk on it, and it's so obvious that he's in a lot of pain. He's trying to find something to eat, but the grass is so dry now, and there's not much good to eat, and he's obviously trying to find food without having to walk very far. And I'm watching him and crying, because I can't help him, and I'm wondering what will happen to him. And I'm crying now just thinking about him. Poor thing. Thinking of calling the Wildlife Rehabilitation people to see what they think. Maybe if I could at least get some deer food to leave out for him so he doesn't have to walk that much? Oh this kind of thing breaks my heart. Anyway.....to anyone who might have read all the way through this.....thank you

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by sidestepper

Not much hope. I feel like giving up. Think more and more about Su, why continue on when I contribute nothing and it's not going to get better. Pretty clear to me that people have given up on me.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

Hi sidestepper......I know it's not the same as people in your "real" life, and perhaps it doesn't make a difference, but you definitely contribute something positive to my life just by being my friend here.....with your quiet support and hugs. I know so well the feeling that things will not get better, and I wish so much I could say something that would allow your perspective to change. My prayers are with you...... ~whimsy

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by laura8

i try to keep going but it would be better if i could just fall asleep forever

Hi laura.....I hope that some bit of comfort comes to you soon.... ~whimsy

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by whimsygirl

Hi sidestepper......I know it's not the same as people in your "real" life, and perhaps it doesn't make a difference, but you definitely contribute something positive to my life just by being my friend here.....with your quiet support and hugs. I know so well the feeling that things will not get better, and I wish so much I could say something that would allow your perspective to change. My prayers are with you...... ~whimsy

Thank You.

Just the words you did say, helped. To think I added something positive moves me to tears. Thank you.

[agma]

Work made me very angry today. Quite a while ago, my supervisor brought in one of our direct care per diem staff to help us catch up on filing since the other two assistant supervisors and I didn't have time to do it. I wondered how/why they chose her versus someone else, but I didn't say anything. About a month ago, I had to take a 3 week medical leave. When I got back I realized they had brought in the same person to help with filing and office work. Since I have been back, the person has been coming in once a week for around 4 hours. Today, the person was working in my office (that is the only place there is room for her), and my supervisor came in. They started talking about hanging out last Friday night and the phone conversation they had and a bunch more stuff that pointed to a long standing friendship versus a working relationship. That made me very angry because now I know how she got picked instead of several other people who would have been a better, more logical chose. Also, I was promised about a year ago, that if more office work became available, that it would go to me (they made me start doing direct care, and I really didn't want to do it). Instead of giving me the work, they keep bringing in this per diem staff because she is a friend of the supervisors. I HATE my supervisor. It took everything within me not to lash out at her today. GRRRRRR

Originally Posted by whimsygirl

Hi laura.....I hope that some bit of comfort comes to you soon.... ~whimsy

thank you whimsygirl

[alone in the world]

have not checked in lately because I have been able to keep the depression under control. I have even begun volunteering, and have started back with classes so I am breaking out of this isolation. I just hope I can continue on this cloud for alaong period of time, I am so tired of being tired.