Daily Check In - Ups and Down Thread 2

Nammu · Aug 15, 2012, 10:16 PM

slept 19 hours, rembered the weekend started crying.

Aug 15, 2012, 10:48 PM

Feeling fairly good today. It's first day back to school. Feeling a little anxious and stressed but pretty sure I'll make. it. I'm starting to get the feeling that I am getting better but in all the wrong ways.

regretful · Aug 16, 2012, 07:10 AM

Tired, depressed...woke up with tears in my eyes. Feeling stuck again.

Turtleboy · Aug 16, 2012, 07:15 AM

Feeling pretty good today

ExiExi · Aug 16, 2012, 08:34 AM

I really need to do something to get help.
It's getting worse and I'm out of ideas.

alone in the world · Aug 16, 2012, 11:33 AM

today I am battling the need for sleep dont want to be so alone

whimsygirl · Aug 16, 2012, 11:42 AM

konrei · Aug 16, 2012, 01:23 PM

My phone broke mysteriously and I'm not happy with it. Trying not to flare up my temper for this...

Nammu · Aug 16, 2012, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by konrei

My phone broke mysteriously and I'm not happy with it. Trying not to flare up my temper for this...

optimize990h · Aug 16, 2012, 02:32 PM

trying to get motivated to do more errands

Shadow-world · Aug 16, 2012, 02:33 PM

I've been so much better on the higher med dose - psychologically and emotionally, that is, but the waking up and nausea at night (med side effects) are hard to bear, as I'm too tired then during the day. Going down is not a good prospect, but I might have to. Not sure what to do. A dilemma.

whimsygirl · Aug 16, 2012, 05:39 PM

Here come those tears again. Whether it's the overwhelming hurt, sadness, and anger still going on after my "best friend" abandoned our friendship in May....or the depression....or a combination of both, (which I really know it is), I just can't seem to move forward. My body and my soul are unbearably tired, and I just can't seem to untangle things.

agma · Aug 16, 2012, 06:14 PM

Another horribly depressing day. I am so sick of feeling this way and not getting anything done. I am so afraid that someone at work will notice and say something. The only thing I have looked forward to lately is going to bed.

Nammu · Aug 16, 2012, 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whimsygirl

Here come those tears again. Whether it's the overwhelming hurt, sadness, and anger still going on after my "best friend" abandoned our friendship in May....or the depression....or a combination of both, (which I really know it is), I just can't seem to move forward. My body and my soul are unbearably tired, and I just can't seem to untangle things.

I'm so sorry that happened. It is hard when that happens, my BF friend Left a bit over a year ago, I blame myself, I still still miss her but it does don't feel so overwhelming any more. In my case it was because I told her some hard truths about her drinking--I thought our friendship was Strong enough for truth, I guess not.

You send such wonderful uplifting post to people here. You are lovely.

optimize990h · Aug 16, 2012, 08:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whimsygirl

Here come those tears again. Whether it's the overwhelming hurt, sadness, and anger still going on after my "best friend" abandoned our friendship in May....or the depression....or a combination of both, (which I really know it is), I just can't seem to move forward. My body and my soul are unbearably tired, and I just can't seem to untangle things.

I lost my best friend in June, I know the situation that happens with such a loss.

whimsygirl · Aug 16, 2012, 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by optimize990h

I lost my best friend in June, I know the situation that happens with such a loss.

Hi optimize, so sorry to hear this.....did you "break up", or did they die?

whimsygirl · Aug 16, 2012, 09:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sidestepper

I'm so sorry that happened. It is hard when that happens, my BF friend Left a bit over a year ago, I blame myself, I still still miss her but it does don't feel so overwhelming any more. In my case it was because I told her some hard truths about her drinking--I thought our friendship was Strong enough for truth, I guess not.

You send such wonderful uplifting post to people here. You are lovely.

Hi sidestepper.....Thanks so much for the kind words. I'm so sorry that you went through this kind of thing too, it sure can be painful. Also, it's interesting that it was speaking the truth that brought the end of your friendship....same with me, except with different details. My friend could never really deal with my depression, but she refused to admit it (even though it was so obvious), and when I finally told her what I thought, that was the end. And btw, I even used to tell her that it was okay for her to be uncomfortable with it....all I ever wanted was for her to admit that she was, and we could work it out together, but instead the door was slammed

Thanks for listening

ps....I do hope that you're not continuing to blame yourself, I'm sure what you said to your friend was said out of love

Nammu · Aug 16, 2012, 11:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whimsygirl

Hi sidestepper.....Thanks so much for the kind words. I'm so sorry that you went through this kind of thing too, it sure can be painful. Also, it's interesting that it was speaking the truth that brought the end of your friendship....same with me, except with different details. My friend could never really deal with my depression, but she refused to admit it (even though it was so obvious), and when I finally told her what I thought, that was the end. And btw, I even used to tell her that it was okay for her to be uncomfortable with it....all I ever wanted was for her to admit that she was, and we could work it out together, but instead the door was slammed

Thanks for listening

ps....I do hope that you're not continuing to blame yourself, I'm sure what you said to your friend was said out of love

Thank you. Sad isn't when we want an honest relationship, but sometimes the other person isn't ready for that. No I don't blame myself any more, what I said was truth. Ironically she has a PhD in counseling but I'm afraid for her. She mixes alcohol w/ Rx pills. I never knew how much until I too needed pain meds. I stopped drinking, she said it was no big deal and tried to get me to drink with her. She kept researching for more med's, different docs. She was on so many, everyone worries about her, her husband was afraid to say anything for fear of how she would react. So I said something, I think it was pointing out the obvious not being able to get to work on time, that made her the most angry. The real reasons she did not get the promotions. I knew too much about her life, we were in and out of each others house, we were together too long for me to accept her rationalizations. I loved her like a sister, but she could not allow me to be around after that. I still worry that I'll hear she crashed.

regretful · Aug 17, 2012, 08:16 AM

Mildly depressed, strongly confused...

Dontfeellikeme · Aug 17, 2012, 08:53 AM

So overwhelmed.

Bark · Aug 17, 2012, 10:29 AM

Going to eat. Realized all I've had today was a glass of water and a sugar cube.

It's been an okay day. Was pretty low for a while, but I'm all right now. I wonder if the St. John's Wort is helping: I feel like my head's a bit sedated and I'm not going really down. Also helps that I finally have a vacation.