[Nammu]

Originally Posted by Will29

Feeling a bit better today. I did my daily challenge this morning and I managed to get out of the flat for almost an hour too.

Welcome.

[whimsygirl]

I'm starting to wonder if my brain chemicals ~neurotransmitters are going through some time-of-day shift, because lately I've been prone to falling apart towards evening, with bad feelings sneaking in, more tears, and all that stuff. Not at all my "normal" pattern.....as if any of this can possibly be called normal. Oh who knows. The journey continues.....

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by sidestepper

(((Whim)))even down you do so much for others. You'll always be learning new tricks, and helping others learn them too.

Received really great backup from my T today, just hard to accept felt like I was sitting far away from her and she was shouting down the wrong end of a tube, the words all came out small and clichéd.

I get to see her again this week so I'll tell her, but I know she will tell me its just the dissociation and as horrible as it "feels" I'm not crazy and I'm not falling apart. Just "feels" that way!

Thanks so much for the kind words sidestepper. And about the therapy thing.....whoa. The force be with you at this upcoming session......

[catesfate]

Originally Posted by agma

Still really depressed. I don't think the deplin or Zoloft is helping at all. I have my t appointment in 1.5 hours, and I am really nervous about it.

Hi! This is my first reply to anyone on PC so I hope I'm not over stepping. Not knowing any details of course, just from my own person experience - I don't know what deplin is; but my experience with zoloft was that the higher the dose it made me very tired (not zomby-like but didn't help w/ depression) and perhaps it DID help take the edge off my anxiety it never really touched my depression. I was recently in the hospital (my choice) and a great pdoc switched me to Effexor XR - and at a very high dose. It made a world of difference with anxiety and once I got up to 225mg also helped with my resistant depression. Just wanted to put that out there for you. I asked my pdoc about effexor after reading about it on www.crazymeds.com - said it was best for resistant depression and anxiety. hope this was informative!!
- take care 'a you!

cate

Originally Posted by Wolfin3

Meh. I am at that weird place where I want to be around people, but then when given the opportunity, I want nothing to do with anyone. I hate it when I contradict myself; it doesn't make sense! I am lonely, and depressed, but when someone asks me to do something I choose to stay lonely?!? I feel like this whole depression thing is all my fault. Maybe it is.

((((Wolfin)))) no dear one....not your fault

Originally Posted by whimsygirl

I'm starting to wonder if my brain chemicals ~neurotransmitters are going through some time-of-day shift, because lately I've been prone to falling apart towards evening, with bad feelings sneaking in, more tears, and all that stuff. Not at all my "normal" pattern.....as if any of this can possibly be called normal. Oh who knows. The journey continues.....

((((Whim)))))

I am feeling that little twinge of guilt, fear. I had to assert muself today and although it didn't make me feel happy to do so, I cannot allow myself to be a pushover. If they aren't happy about it, I am sorry. Leniency and has been misconstrued as "do whatever you want with no consequences". No more.

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by Rose Panachée

I am feeling that little twinge of guilt, fear. I had to assert muself today and although it didn't make me feel happy to do so, I cannot allow myself to be a pushover. If they aren't happy about it, I am sorry. Leniency and has been misconstrued as "do whatever you want with no consequences". No more.

It feels strange and hard being assertive when we've gotten so many mixed messages or even straight out messages that invalidate us as a person.

Rose you are a fantastic, smart and kind person who has every right to be assertive.

[whimsygirl]

Still having such a hard time getting over being completely abandoned ~dare I say "dumped" by the person I believed was my best friend in the world a few months ago. Although I do have times when I experience some kind of perspective, and I've really been working on all of this in therapy, I feel like I just keep ending up back where I started. I want to move on, and I know this is eating me alive, but the sadness, and hurt, and anger are just not leaving. I have been betrayed before, but never like this. I'm just so sad, and really struggling a lot of the time......

[Rose76]

I had a good extended interval of not being depressed. It's been really great. Yesterday, however, I did get depressed and I've been pretty down today. I don't want this to grow into a major meltdown.

I think I better develop a habit of planning what I'm going to do with my time. I think I've been kind of just drifting. I drifted in some good directions over the past couple of weeks, but I think drifting day in and out is dangerous for me.

There is little food in the house. My goal for today is to get to the store and bring home some groceries. Well, that's one goal. I better decide when I'm going to do this, or I'll just drift and not even do it.

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by Rose76

I had a good extended interval of not being depressed. It's been really great. Yesterday, however, I did get depressed and I've been pretty down today. I don't want this to grow into a major meltdown.

I think I better develop a habit of planning what I'm going to do with my time. I think I've been kind of just drifting. I drifted in some good directions over the past couple of weeks, but I think drifting day in and out is dangerous for me.

There is little food in the house. My goal for today is to get to the store and bring home some groceries. Well, that's one goal. I better decide when I'm going to do this, or I'll just drift and not even do it.

Rose....First of all, I'm so sorry you're not doing so well today, and also just want to let you know that it appears we may be on parallel paths. Everything you say here is so close to what I have been feeling today, and lately. Warm wishes and hugs ~whimsy

[alone in the world]

having a high anxiety day created by fight with kid all I want to do now is hide out in my bed and forget about everything. this just feeds into the depression which has a new life of it's own. drownding here.

[alone in the world]

Originally Posted by whimsygirl

Still having such a hard time getting over being completely abandoned ~dare I say "dumped" by the person I believed was my best friend in the world a few months ago. Although I do have times when I experience some kind of perspective, and I've really been working on all of this in therapy, I feel like I just keep ending up back where I started. I want to move on, and I know this is eating me alive, but the sadness, and hurt, and anger are just not leaving. I have been betrayed before, but never like this. I'm just so sad, and really struggling a lot of the time......

hang in there time does ease the pain and bring new insight. remain strong as I know you are.

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by alone in the world

having a high anxiety day created by fight with kid all I want to do now is hide out in my bed and forget about everything. this just feeds into the depression which has a new life of it's own. drownding here.

Hi alone. So sorry that you're suffering. Sending good thoughts ps.....And thanks for your kind words.

[turquoise4]

Today has been a really hard day. I am feeling so sad. It has been hard to make it through.

[optimize990h]

lazy day. unmotivated to be even depressed. hope all of you have better todays!

[Turtleboy]

Feeling good this morning, got down last night but it passed soon enough

[AngelWolf3]

feeling really down today, but trying to control it by thinking happy thoughts and not focusing on the bad stuff, but it's so hard! (not suggesting that it can be something that is turned on and off, but you all know what I mean! )

My life is unbalanced...I have a "routine" during the work week and then I run errands, clean, do laundry on the weekend. I really dont have anything fun or interesting to do on my days off. I haven't been on a real vacation in over 5 years. I cant think of anything I would like to do ... anything that seems interesting or to look forward to. I have done all of it. Being alone does not help. I do believe lack of finances for t/e is what holds me back. *sigh*...that and my complete lack of interest in what most consider around here, a "life". Beach, bars, boating...not for me. I dont know if it is depression or "oldage" This "new normal" and acceptance of "what is" is for the birds.

[happysomeday]

I pray this is a good day--even an ok day. I get nothing done, my house is a mess and I don't eat. Just this day, please, can I find the inner strength to get up and do something. Thanks for listening and happy days to you all.

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by Wolfin3

feeling really down today, but trying to control it by thinking happy thoughts and not focusing on the bad stuff, but it's so hard! (not suggesting that it can be something that is turned on and off, but you all know what I mean! )

Good Morning Wolfin..... Sorry the demon has got you by the tail. Oh yes that frustrating rollercoaster ride that is our life. Sending hugs and warm thoughts......

[Rose76]

alone in the world
Re: Daily Check In - Ups and Down Thread 2
having a high anxiety day created by fight with kid all I want to do now is hide out in my bed and forget about everything. this just feeds into the depression which has a new life of it's own. drownding here.
This t

I still don't get exactly how to do quotes. Learning . . .

To: Alone in the world I totally understand exactly what you mean. You are not alone in your experience. Depression does have a life of its own. It can make you feel like your drownding. Anxiety is like rocket fuel for depression. And it makes you want to hide out . . . often, in bed. I so relate to this.

Hope you feel better.

[whimsygirl]

So far so good Got up too early.....although at this point I suppose "too early" has pretty much become my "normal", hmm. So far just a couple of little tears, not even worth a mention. But it's early and I've already gotten some thing done.....yay. My goals for the day? To not cry, and to climb out of the deep rut of being unproductive that I've been living in lately...... Best wishes to everyone

[Rose76]

I'm a lot better than I was past two days. Taking Ritalin this morning seems to have helped. I don't take it routinely. Once in a while, though, it seems to help stop the descent, which was getting bad till I took it.

I actually made my bed and got dressed after taking it.

My neck is not sore. Let me not screw that up by staying on the computer too long.

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by Rose76

I still don't get exactly how to do quotes. Learning . . .

To: Alone in the world I totally understand exactly what you mean. You are not alone in your experience. Depression does have a life of its own. It can make you feel like your drownding. Anxiety is like rocket fuel for depression. And it makes you want to hide out . . . often, in bed. I so relate to this.

Hope you feel better.

Hi Rose....I'm not sure if this is what you're talking about, but just in case it is: To include a quote in your post.....ie to respond to what someone else wrote.....just click on "QUOTE", then write your message at the very end of what the other person wrote and "Submit Reply". One clue, make sure you are going back to the original post that you want to respond to and don't use "New Reply". Not even sure that's what you were referring to, but maybe