Daily Check In - Ups and Down Thread 2

whimsygirl · 12:00 PM

The return of extreme pain in my spine has really thrown me for a (bad) loop. Enough already. Please God....or whoever's in charge, won't you rethink all this?? (And perhaps for my fellow innocent sufferers also?)

Shadow-world · Sep 12, 2012, 02:46 PM

Had a shock earlier today. Not good. Hopes now totally crushed. :-(

Tsuki632 · Sep 12, 2012, 03:04 PM

Please tell me I'm not going crazy! Things are overwhelming me so easily right now. Today is better than yesterday, which is better than the day before, but I still feel stuck.

whimsygirl · Sep 12, 2012, 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shadow-world

Had a shock earlier today. Not good. Hopes now totally crushed. :-(

Oh Shadow.....I'm so sorry to hear this. Will be holding you in my

.....Here for you if you ever want to talk (about anything) ~whimsy

Shadow-world · Sep 12, 2012, 03:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whimsygirl

Oh Shadow.....I'm so sorry to hear this. Will be holding you in my

.....Here for you if you ever want to talk (about anything) ~whimsy

Thanks so much, Whimsy. I'm too exhausted to type right now, but I might message you more soon. I left a thank you on your wall for the lovely pics and posts and sorry I haven't responded more quickly - I haven't been much on PC the last couple of weeks.

I do hope your pain is easing off, Whimsy! It really doesn't sound nice!

whimsygirl · Sep 12, 2012, 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shadow-world

Thanks so much, Whimsy. I'm too exhausted to type right now, but I might message you more soon. I left a thank you on your wall for the lovely pics and posts and sorry I haven't responded more quickly - I haven't been much on PC the last couple of weeks.

I do hope your pain is easing off, Whimsy! It really doesn't sound nice!

Thanks Shadow.....Got your message on my page, and no problem with timing, we've all got to take care of ourselves and our lives first (in whatever ways that we can). Totally get that, and just wanted to let you know I'm out here if you ever want or need to say anything more

Take care and ttyl......

oh and ps....Thanks also for the well-wishes. The pain is usually the worst in the mornings, but thankfully tends to get better with movement, as the day goes along.

agma · Sep 12, 2012, 05:08 PM

I love Wednesdays...only a half day at work followed by group t and individual t. My group t is almost done but me and 3 others are going to continue onto the next part. Group t was stressful and anxiety provoking, but individual t was really good. Also, Wednesday is the only day of the week that I am home before 6:45pm. I am in a pretty good mood right now, but has been up and down throughout the day.

Rose76 · Sep 12, 2012, 07:52 PM

I was freaking out today. But I'm okay now.

On Monday, I went to the Y to spend time in the pool and gym to try and strengthen my back and neck. After doing that, I felt really pleased with myself, and I did feel healthier. Then I woke up yesterday feeling so sore, I was in shock. Then today, I woke up feeling even worse, like I could hardly move. Sore all over, right down to the palms of my hands and back of my heels (from the treadmill, I guess.)

I was so demoralized. Here I went to try and exercise, and then I feel horrible as a result.

So, finally, I took a pain pill. Still, I was hardly able to move. So I took a muscle relaxer. Eventually, they both kicked in and - what a relief. Then a neighbor visited and that made me less depressed.

I guess I am going to have to take this exercise program at a slower pace. I probably just overdid it. I have extreme fear of being in chronic pain. Yes, people do bravely cope with much worse than I have. But I am not brave - not at all. I freak out if something hurts and I am not sure that the pain will go away. This morning, I had awful thoughts coming into my head about what might I have to do to escape if I ever had chronic serious pain. Yes, that's how cowardly I am.

Now, thanks to the meds, I feel okay to go food shopping. My horrible fear is gone. My depression is gone. What a trip - to despair and back, in one day.

I better get going to the store now and get moving, so thankful that I feel good enough to move around.

CloudyDay99 · Sep 12, 2012, 11:23 PM

Today was a day of dealing with people. Most of my interactions were good but there were a couple were the people just ignored me even though I tried to say hello. In one case, it seemed like the person was mad at me and I just kept thinking about that the rest of the day.

I feel really drained now and a bit sad but I'm not completely sure why. Lots of food around so I ended up overeating including two bags of chips right in front of people.

Shadow-world · Sep 13, 2012, 11:58 AM

Struggling badly. Don't know how to get through the next one and a half weeks when my colleagues are off work and I have to be there. then I have just over a week of annual leave. I have to make it through the next week and a half. So tired. So lost and hopeless again. So down. I can't even write in full sentences any longer. Not enough energy.

Tsuki632 · Sep 13, 2012, 12:02 PM

Keep talking and you will make it through.

whimsygirl · 12:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shadow-world

Struggling badly. Don't know how to get through the next one and a half weeks when my colleagues are off work and I have to be there. then I have just over a week of annual leave. I have to make it through the next week and a half. So tired. So lost and hopeless again. So down. I can't even write in full sentences any longer. Not enough energy.

((((( Shadow )))))

with or without you · Sep 13, 2012, 01:18 PM

not doing so hot today. I don't post in here a lot, but I am trying to pick up the pieces from a major depression I went through over the summer. I was on partial disability from work for 3 months because of it, and I went back to full-time last week. I believe this episode was caused by 1) my continued frustration from trying to get my social anxiety under control, 2) I hate the city I live in and am unable to leave due to financial problems, lack of self-confidence, and said social anxiety, and 3) biological susceptibility to depression. Anyway, my attitude is just ****** and apathetic today. For instance, I overslept (because I couldn't sleep last night) and missed my shrink appointment this morning, and I'm really not upset. I just don't care about anything or anyone right now. I even think, what's the point of treating this? I've been trying for over half my life and I still go around and around with the same problems. I'll just coast through the rest of life, I gave it a good try. I'm not actively thinking of suicide or anything like that, but I do wonder what would happen if I just didn't wake up one morning, for whatever reason. I know everyone and their brother says exercise helps curb depression, but I'm ****ing tired and despise it. I just. don't. care.

Turtleboy · Sep 13, 2012, 01:36 PM

Doing a bit better today, thanks for the support guys ((hugs))

whimsygirl · 03:58 PM

with or without you.....I'm truly sorry you're feeling this bad. All sounds and feels very familiar to me, but of course every one has their own details. And as it also sounds like with you, for a very long time. Just wanted to briefly mention that I also am stuck in the place where I live, but due to financial matters, am not able to move. Very frustrating. Living in a small town, very beautiful area but very isolated and with very little to do. Definitely adds in ways to my depression. Anyway, sending good thoughts and I hope that some how, some way, some comfort comes to you soon ~whimsygirl

whimsygirl · Sep 13, 2012, 01:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Turtleboy

Doing a bit better today, thanks for the support guys ((hugs))

Good to hear, and hugs back!

optimize990h · Sep 13, 2012, 02:06 PM

took my antidepressant in am not at bedtime. noticing a difference. a little more anxious than yesterday, but was able to have a good night sleep last night. hoping to see improvement soon. been waiting a long time for it. less mood swing, more anxiety related issues that interfere with concentration. somehow able to do it with my public face better(the concentration/focus issue).

regretful · Sep 13, 2012, 02:09 PM

Still holding steady...tired, but less depressed and at the risk of losing this, feeling pretty good at the moment..

with or without you · Sep 13, 2012, 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whimsygirl

with or without you.....I'm truly sorry you're feeling this bad. All sounds and feels very familiar to me, but of course every one has their own details. And as it also sounds like with you, for a vary long time. Just wanted to briefly mention that I also am stuck in the place where I live, but due to financial matters, am not able to move. Very frustrating. Living in a small town, very beautiful area but very isolated and with very little to do. Definitely adds in ways to my depression. Anyway, sending good thoughts and I hope that some how, some way, some comfort comes to you soon ~whimsygirl

I actually want to move back to a small town. So our situations are almost identical.

Been depressed off and on since I was a teenager, and I recently turned 31.

KAT41 · Sep 13, 2012, 03:54 PM

hi all, hardly posted in here since god knows when, and i think im new to this thread

hmmm feeling a bit anxious and agitated, mood fluctuating a bit but more up agitated than down

feel very tired, going to bed shortly

whimsygirl · Sep 13, 2012, 04:27 PM

As always a bit shaky, but feeling (cautiously) a bit more optimistic today. I've been stuck in a frustrating, deep rut lately.....brought on by my own inability ~unwillingness (?) to push myself forward and get things accomplished. But so far today I'm doing that a little more, and it feels good

Basically, need to be more "task oriented". So back to work I go. Wishing as good a day as possible to all......