[agma]

I feel like I am on an emotional rollar coaster....multiple mood swings each day. Even the tiniest thing can set me off. Seriously considering going back on a mood stabilizer.

[Bark]

They bring out the worst in me. Driving me crazy... makes me not want to do anything. I don't want to listen to it. I wish they'd both just stop.

I wish I could help them, but it's pointless and futile. Feeling so stressed.

If she could just stop talking, it would be a blessing. And if she could stop blaming and putting her down (the pronouns are confusing, I admit), that would be another blessing. But she's never going to stop talking, and she's never going to stop nagging and putting down.

And it's complicated when they're family. And it's complicated when someone can be so nice one moment, offering everything on a silver platter, and make you feel useless the next. At least it's not as bad as before: at least I'm not living with them. I'm just here for a few days.

I'm tired of it. I'm tired of the whole frikkin' thing. And I naturally worry a bit, even if it's blown out of proportion, and I had that worry backed up a bit today.

I know I'm making no sense. I'm sorry.

(And this garbage connection isn't helping anything.)

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by agma

I feel like I am on an emotional rollar coaster....multiple mood swings each day. Even the tiniest thing can set me off. Seriously considering going back on a mood stabilizer.

Oh agma.....How much I relate to this, and it's so hard. (I've been very much in a similar place lately.) That damn roller coaster, I hate it. I hope you find some comfort soon...... ~whimsy

[whimsygirl]

Just feeling very overwhelmed and defeated by life. Aside from dealing with one of the more severe episodes of depression in quite a while, after a break from it, the arthritis in my spine is causing extreme back pain.....to the point where I can barely walk or move at all in the mornings. Ugh. Sure wish I could afford health insurance..... ps.....Gonna go see if French Roast might help with anything Best wishes to all.....

[whimsygirl]

Ok, well, speaking of roller coaster rides. For whatever reason.....a complete mystery to me.....feeling somewhat better for the past few hours. If only this stuff was somehow under my control, but it never has appeared to be that way But for the moment I'll take it, and just say "thanks" to the universe......

[tinytin]

it turns out my sister's listed some therapists for me, so i went (expensive, i feel guilty but treatment is needed at this point) and told her things i've never said to others before. it was humiliating and comforting at the same time, and earlier today i had a medical check-up.

i hadn't cried or felt hopeless all morning. it feels like i can actually do become a functioning member of society again. being part of this forum has been a big part of that, i think. thanks.

[Turtleboy]

Thank you all for the hugs yesterday, you guys really picked me up

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by tinytin

it turns out my sister's listed some therapists for me, so i went (expensive, i feel guilty but treatment is needed at this point) and told her things i've never said to others before. it was humiliating and comforting at the same time, and earlier today i had a medical check-up.

i hadn't cried or felt hopeless all morning. it feels like i can actually do become a functioning member of society again. being part of this forum has been a big part of that, i think. thanks.

Hi tinytin....It's so good to hear that you're seeing a bit of hope Sometimes just reaching out for help ~doing things to take care of yourself can have a positive effect. Hope the trend continues for you.....

[agma]

Feeling very guilty for spending 3 hours last night with a new friend and not spending any time with my husband. This is a person that I am in group therapy with, so she understands my struggles with mental illness. We shared more of our stories with each other, and it felt really good. I got the feeling that my husband was annoyed by my leaving last night to spend some time with this person. I keep reminding myself that my H was very tired last night and that I might have just percieved him as being annoyed when in reality he wasn't. My anxiety is extremely high because of this.

[konrei]

So my mom went back to Alaska for her work in the fish company so I was left to do the chores again. Back to multi-tasking for me...

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by agma

Feeling very guilty for spending 3 hours last night with a new friend and not spending any time with my husband. This is a person that I am in group therapy with, so she understands my struggles with mental illness. We shared more of our stories with each other, and it felt really good. I got the feeling that my husband was annoyed by my leaving last night to spend some time with this person. I keep reminding myself that my H was very tired last night and that I might have just percieved him as being annoyed when in reality he wasn't. My anxiety is extremely high because of this.

Hi agma.....Sorry you're feeling so anxious. Is your husband sympathetic about the struggles you face in your life? Can you talk about things with him? Because even if he is kind about things, it seems like perhaps he would understand that talking to someone who understands on a different level is a really positive, good thing for you. Of course nothing is so simple, and I don't know anything about your life, but this is just something I believe. Sending lots of warm thoughts and hugs ~whimsy

[regretful]

Roller coaster ride continues...new job hopefully starting soon, so that brings anxiety; leaving a family owned business, so that brings wistfulness, fatigue, so that brings well, fatigue...but overall, I guess it's improving, so I'm cautiously optimistic...

[whimsygirl]

Not so bad this morning.....fingers crossed. I am just praying that the roller coaster operator is off work today, so the ride won't be in operation Warm Wishes to all......

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by regretful

Roller coaster ride continues...new job hopefully starting soon, so that brings anxiety; leaving a family owned business, so that brings wistfulness, fatigue, so that brings well, fatigue...but overall, I guess it's improving, so I'm cautiously optimistic...

Ah yes.....That dreaded roller coaster. Good luck with your day

[alone in the world]

last night I felt the sadness and loneliness creeping up my back so I slept it away. Today started out positive but I feel it slipping away and do not know how to stop it from taking over. I so want a day that is stress and anxiety free so I can feel good about something.

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by alone in the world

last night I felt the sadness and loneliness creeping up my back so I slept it away. Today started out positive but I feel it slipping away and do not know how to stop it from taking over. I so want a day that is stress and anxiety free so I can feel good about something.

Sending a big hug alone, and oh how I feel what you're saying.....that's exactly how I'm feeling lately, and what I'm thinking about. Hope you feel better as soon as possible. Keeping you in my prayers ~whimsy

[alone in the world]

stormy morning. broke my # 1 rule and made plans with a classmate and at the last moment she cancels. Now I have the whole day to think about how people always let me down. today is going to be a very sad and lonely one.

[Bark]

Haven't slept through the night for a couple days... could be the mosquitoes and the mattress... I don't know. Hasn't affected me too much; I always get up tired anyway, and I've been able to sleep in.

I wish the family stuff would just go away... it's a long, complicated story from so many angles.

Other than the stress for a few days, I feel sort of fine... which always makes me doubt I'm depressed. I can joke and do some things and I guess feel kinda happy... sure I can tick off the symptoms on a checklist, sure I've felt hopeless and worthless and suicidal (within the past day or two) and.... My mind will never give me a break, will it? I'm hypocritical and imagining everything and making people think I'm feeling bad when I'm not (but I am...).

So Monday I start with the antidepressant. He said half in the evening for the first week, right...? I double- and triple- and quadruple-checked, I should know. Should be just one. But not morning... no, evening....

[whimsygirl]

I felt really sad this morning when I unexpectedly ran into the kindest, most loving e-mail that my now ex-bff wrote to me back in March.....before we headed off together to a big tennis tournament. I still find it hard to comprehend how she turned, and the icy coldness that has now existed since late May. No matter how much I work on it in therapy, not matter how many books I read about this kind of thing, etc.....the cruelty that some people are capable of will never make sense to me. Big sigh......

[Rose76]

Teary this morning, but not what I would call depressed - so I didn't mind it. Here trying to spend some time on PC. Hope I can read some posts and put some up without getting my neck and back in spasms. From Santa, this year, I would like a laptop or a tablet. Sitting at the desk gets difficult. Generally, though, I am doing good.

[junkDNA]

thinking about using right now.

probably will...

Sad but okay...

[Turtleboy]

Having a nice evening,

[Rose76]

I did stay at the computer way too long yesterday. That was because I got a real interesting email from a relative and it reminded me of a bunch of things that I wanted to look up. Once I start doing that . . . .

I'm back today, but tell myself I won't stay for a long spell.

I have been depressed today, but it is not too bad.

[Rose76]

Came to desk to turn off computer. Neck got sore. Have to stay away from desk for at least 3 days. I overdid it yesterday.

Depressed.