[clouds_and_sun]

I ask cause I suffer from this.
I know my problem and I have been like this all my life, I jump to conclusions but I am working on that problem.
It seems that people don't want to give me a chance cause I am trying to get better, I really am. What is sad is that I made a friend and they seemed to understand my issue with this, until I recently upset their friends by jumping to conclusions, I said that I am trying so hard to work at it and begged them to still be my friend. They said that they would but seemed a lot more distant.
If I can't keep friends, and since it seems that no one understands me I think it is best that I go, I am that depressed over this issue.
By the way, all of this did not happen here on this site, everyone on this site is kind.
So, I was just wondering if this has happened to anyone here, as in having a hard time keeping online or offline friends.

[bumpy_road]

Yes, I've had that situation happen too. It's complicated with me though, I don't think I'm in a good enough frame of mind to have, or keep friends anymore...too messed up...too fragile. I've never been good socially. It's been around four years now since I've had a friend...I only go outside if I have to...I don't see that changing anytime soon.
_But you're not me, I hope you don't give up.
I wish you all the best...

[bluegirl...?]

Originally Posted by clouds_and_sun

I ask cause I suffer from this.
I know my problem and I have been like this all my life, I jump to conclusions but I am working on that problem.
It seems that people don't want to give me a chance cause I am trying to get better, I really am. What is sad is that I made a friend and they seemed to understand my issue with this, until I recently upset their friends by jumping to conclusions, I said that I am trying so hard to work at it and begged them to still be my friend. They said that they would but seemed a lot more distant.
If I can't keep friends, and since it seems that no one understands me I think it is best that I go, I am that depressed over this issue.
By the way, all of this did not happen here on this site, everyone on this site is kind.
So, I was just wondering if this has happened to anyone here, as in having a hard time keeping online or offline friends.

Whoa, me too! I overheat WAAAAY too easily and stuffz. But hopefully I've changed since then....

You have to understand how hard it is for the other person, too. They should get that you're working on it and you said sorry..... There ARE plenty of people out there who will stand by you no matter what, you just gotta keep your eye out for 'em.

But I hope brings you comfort that you're not alone.
ive lost two real good friends on PC as a result, but I'm working my way to amend that.

Hope you feel better!
...Blue

[No Fuse No Flame]

Ya I know the feeling only have one freind right now. Used to have more. Expalined to one I thought was a true freind why I was the way I am he understood. Used to hang together all the time fishing and other stuff. Haven't heard from him or others in that circle. Many are still around don't call or return calls. True freind comes back too town never calls. Always been a bad judge of people. Have gotten used to being alone and doing everything myself. At this point don't care if they ever call, they're not even welcome in my home anymore.

[dg1983]

I can relate to only having one true friend. I am also thankful for is having people to relate to on this site, I just joined but I feel I am talking to many friends My ability to make friends is not so bad, however, keeping them is another story. I have lost at least 40 friends in my lifetime...when I think about some of them and how close we used to be, it's hard. I do believe it's way past the point of being able to salvage anything we had. Either too much time has passed or I exploded at them. Because I trained myself to be skeptical of people, I jump to conclusions too and explode at people, or simply cut them off when I suspect they are using me or talking behind my back, even if they aren't. Because of my bouts of depression I can be so negative, I don't like being around people anymore because I feel guilty afterwards of the things I can say about myself and other people...it's hard to relate to people now at my age (28) when my old friends are getting married or engaged and have this ideal life, when I am all holed up at home and alone...wow...so my point is lol...clouds_and_sun, you are not alone. Sorry for my rant btw.

[whimsygirl]

Hi clouds_and_sun....I'm so sorry about your situation, and I get it, because I've come to a place where I really only have one person that I can call a friend. And although we've know each other for many years, we'll never be super close. Then there's one other person who I consider a rather close friend, but I'm never really clear on where she stands. Over the past 15 years or so I've lost pretty much all of my friends....old ones....new ones, online ones, etc. Sometimes it was more my decision, sometimes theirs, but with the same results....I'm pretty alone and isolated most of the time. So, I realize this doesn't change anything with you, except that....along with the other responses....you know you're not at all alone. Warm wishes to you....

[MickG]

I have one close friend as I tend to keep people at a distance. I wish you the very best.

[clouds_and_sun]

and thank you all i am so very sorry that this happened to you all, OMG I thought I was alone in feeling this way. Well I want you all to know that you always have a friend in me. We all can be good friends to each other since we understand each other a lot.

[JadeAmethyst]

Yes, I too have very few friends, but I have my dogs to talk to and I am starting to enjoy my own company these days.

I would enjoy meeting and making new friends. I think I would like them to have a sense of humor as I tend to be a bit too serious sometimes.

Jade

[Roseheart101]

I am in the same ocean. I just can't get close to people. I have acquaintances at work, I have my therapist, I wave at my neighbors, I send Christmas cards to my family, so I guess I am not alone.

I have been so frustrated in the last month because one of my class assignments require an "interaction" with a willing friend. There is someone at my work who will do it with me but we don't always have time. Also there is a family member who will do it with me.

We are supposed to get different people each week. I feel like such a freak because I don't have a close friend like that. I don't even like asking to two people I have mentioned because it seems so intrusive to ask for their help. I feel discriminated against because I am single and alone. I hate to go out of the house.

It makes me want to give up, really. As I said, I do have my T. We will talk today. He is so good. But I can't seem to feel close to him either. It feels like I am yelling across the room to him, but there is a super loud band playing, so I can't hear what he is saying and he can't hear what I am saying either.

I don't think this is much help for you. I guess I am just saying I have the same problem and it isn't easy.

Rose

[jegsu01]

I know what you mean, I to have a difficult time keeping friends or even making friends. It is hard because my motivation and interest levels are so low that I don't always want to do things that other do, so they just start excluding me from things. I also don't have many friends online, not really sure why that happens since most of the sites I go to to talk with people are sites where they are going through the same thing or some similar to what I am facing. Not really sure about this site yet because I am new to it and have not been on very often.

[pandarama123456789]

Keeping friendss, online or off, is very hard for me. I tend to jump to conclusions myself, my mind just starts reeling and I cant stop the negative thoughts from being all I see and I get all panicky and I usually just stop seeing people cause I feel like all the bad things I've thought are what they've thought about me. People, I don't really understand them. They just make me nervous so it's hard forming and keeping friendships. It's almost to hard for me to have friends at this point, I'm always going to be way too insecure, I pretty much need constant reassurance that people are my friends otherwise I make it up in my mind that they hate me and I can't talk to them anyomore. I had a hard time understanding friendship when I was little and I got hurt a lot, so thats probably one of the main reasons I have a hard time making and keeping friends

[nardg]

I cannot keep frieds been like this all my life. I jump to conclusions and think I can see whats going to happen in the future.

((((Clouds)))) I can completely relate. I echo many of the other members sentiments. I have a very difficult time making friends.

One of the reasons is because I have been very depressed so the things I used to enjoy doing no longer apply. So when I am around others (for instance, at the office) I literally have nothing to contribute to the convo. How incredibly boring of me.

I also have isolated so much that it would be virtually impossible to make friends IRL. (not that I want to though because for the most part I have a very hard time trusting). It seems that things always turn into some sort of drama and gossip-fest (high school behavior that i never knew how to deal with then...and i still dont know how to now). It is a waste of time to me.

I would love to have other female friends my age, but most of them are married, have kids, are quite busy and have little time for socializing.

Also, my history is sad. Since i was 19, I've experienced one tragedy after another... the last one literally had me down for the count. I am an embarrassment to my family. And they refuse to accept my Dx because it reflects badly on them (rolling my eyes)..

Since then, I just feel as though the scales are tipped too much to the negative. I dont want to burden anyone. My family doesnt even want to hear about it. When F2 died they did not say one word to me and totally avoided me.

When I have shared even a portion of my experiences, it is just depressing to people. And i hate seeing the look of pity on their faces. Keeping them has also proven to be difficult.

My life - en toto - has consisted of a long stream of my dreams coming true, temp happiness or joy, and then immediately followed by sadness, heartbreak and tragedy. So it kind of negates the fabulous parts.

I do not have one true friend where I currently live. I have no relationship with my parents and extended family. My sister and i have not spoken in 10 years. My other sisters...one passed away, and the other two are living lives that I cannot relate to.

I had my T but she is transitioning out to go to another practice. Although, we had a great relationship, I remembered always that she was my T. Not my friend. But she did make herself avai
able to me in between sessions so I didnt feel completely alone.

I have a new T now ( T2 - a male) and he isnt available during the week at all. Except for our appt time.

SAD and GAD certainly dont help the matter either.

The reality is after all my yacking here is that I have gotten to a point to where I am too afraid to make friends and too afraid to associate with the old ones. I have changed too much. They are happily living their lives. I am a cautionary tale to them.

I hope to be a good friend here though on PC! And i feel very lucky for the members here that I have "met". Great people. For that I am grateful

Kind regards,
Rose

[plumapplepear]

Yes I am slowly trying to learn how to have casual conversations with others and connect on a casual level the more I tone down my need for bonding it seems people relate to me more dont know much about that.

[Disbelieving]

Hi C and S,
I just want to say to you that I feel like I can totally relate. I definitely know feeling all alone. I try to reach out to "friends" and I often/mostly get nowhere. I currently feel like I'm sort of in crisis mode and have tried reaching out to several "friends", just to talk for a bit, and they don't respond. I can't even get in to see my new therapist for a week and a half. It can be really hard. One of my friends says that people don't respond when they think you're just going to be really negative and down in the dumps. Well, who are you supposed to turn to when you are feeling like that?!? That is what I'd like to know. I'd always thought that is what friends are for--I mean, obviously other things, but that is when they really become your friend! I've given up on many friends. They don't seem to have time for me, for fun or otherwise. So, yeah. You're not alone. I'm thinking I'd really like to find a support group. So will ask my therapist if she has any recommendations. Good luck to you, I'm here if you want to "talk".

Originally Posted by clouds_and_sun

I ask cause I suffer from this.
I know my problem and I have been like this all my life, I jump to conclusions but I am working on that problem.
It seems that people don't want to give me a chance cause I am trying to get better, I really am. What is sad is that I made a friend and they seemed to understand my issue with this, until I recently upset their friends by jumping to conclusions, I said that I am trying so hard to work at it and begged them to still be my friend. They said that they would but seemed a lot more distant.
If I can't keep friends, and since it seems that no one understands me I think it is best that I go, I am that depressed over this issue.
By the way, all of this did not happen here on this site, everyone on this site is kind.
So, I was just wondering if this has happened to anyone here, as in having a hard time keeping online or offline friends.

[Eudaemonia]

I can certainly relate. Part of the problem for me is that I always feel "different" from other people, and like we can't really relate to one another's struggles. As I have gotten older it has gotten harder for me to risk the possible rejection and disappointment of friendship, and so I rarely reach out and tend to be very reserved and withdrawn in social situation.

[Lost Lamb]

I,too have a hard time getting and keeping friends. It's so lonesome. But others just don't understand. I think they want to but they just don't get it.
Don't give up. Things have to change for the better sooner or later. sooner I hope.

[DownfallOfUsAll]

I'm terrible at keeping friends because I'm too shy to talk to them and I'm probably not intreseting enough for people. Any friends I do have I just find it hard to keep in contact with because I hate starting conversations since I'm too busy being paranoid that they don't really like me at all.

Any friends I have made recently I've lost again just as quickly because of my shyness probably. I mean who would want to be friends and hang around with someone that doesn't talk?

[shezbut]

(((clouds_and_sun)))

Yes, I've always had major problems making friends IRL. I typically avoid even trying to join a discussion or say "hello" to people. I guess that my history of a lot of negative experiences almost all of the way through school (from K-7th, and then 10th-12th grades) didn't help much at all. We moved too may times & I went to a new school for each grade. From beginning to the end.

Anyway, along the way, I've accepted this behavior of mine at work. I am a BIG believer in giving your all to your job. So, I work at a nursing home, part-time, feeding residents who can't feed themselves. That's a one-on-one thing. I can do that. Most of them don't talk, or they only talk about simple things. I can also accompany them to doctor's appointment's, to hold their hand in support. But, that's my job. Over the years, I have become emotionally attached to several elders. And it always pushes me deeper into my depression. That's hard.

I'll talk about *Joe to staff, to make sure that his needs are met, but no making friends with co-workers. I never have been able to become friends with co-workers. Bf's were always clients of mine, when I was a waitress & they'd sit in my station repeatedly. Now, my current bf lives in the same apt. building as I do. An apartment for disabled. I occasionally bake things and give them to neighbors ~ that's how we met. My bf is the opposite of me, very outgoing & always has been! A couple of his friends are friendly with me, but that's kind of buddy, I think.

That's my experience. I'm pretty much alone in the world ~ other than my T and psychiatrist, but they get paid to listen and talk to me. I therefore take what they say my positives are with a grain of salt.

Online, I try not to talk about my own problems too much. I HATE the thought of pushing others online away with my complaints about life and self-hate. Frustration with the crazy world ~ drives me INSANE!! I can't stand it. It makes me very angry and hopeless, feeling that the good in life is quickly disappearing. Depression boots back in again. UGHHHH!