I smile a lot, no one takes my depression seriously?

Hi Jesusplay,
I think many of us can be reflected on your words here, we have this persona for the outside world and smiling can be a mechanism to interact better sometimes. Sometimes, smiling is a good thing to me, it helps me to feel better, like an exercise.
But, in any case, what your post provoked me is to think: what is the most important for us , and it is to take our own depression seriously. It is more important than how the other think about us and our depression.
OK, I just wanted to share what I felt when I read your post.
Many greetings

I know what you mean, and do basically the same thing. It's surely basic psychology to mask one's own true feelings, so it shocks me that some psychologists seem to fail to pick-up on something so blatant.

I mean for God's sake, it took a second of Googling to come up with a couple of articles on masking one's anguish with a smile! The above is just one example, and I'm sure a very relateable one at that. A professional from, I think, Japan, dubs it: "Smile-mask syndrome"

Here is another tidbit, to which I strongly relate:

I'm fairly sure it's common-knowledge that we all lie from time-to-time, whether severely or not, but the lies that can do a lot of gradual, deep damage, are the lies that we tell ourselves - yes, even those fake smiles. For me, it's not just a smile, but a joke - humor is a defense mechanism, for me; this is also not exactly a recent psychological breakthrough. :P

Morgansangel, what actually bugs me most about that, is the use of the word "managed", like it was an accomplishment. OK, fair enough, maybe he couldn't tell - we do get rather good at donning our years-practiced disguises, but couldn't it hurt not to actually assume it wasn't some great feat? I don't understand the logic of some doctors. He could have based a fair chunk of your entire progression throughout treatment, (if it were for, say, depression) on simply smiling and laughing, completely blissfully unaware that you're feeling worse than ever, underneath.

Some people maybe reflexively cry when they feel that way inclined, but others, I believe, flick another switch, and that's when they smile, joke, laugh, get defensive, perhaps even aggressive, or various other oddities that we use as self-defense. Emotions can be scary; it's perfectly acceptable to me, that some people maybe don't want to jump headfirst into them. Learning to cope with emotions, would probably help. I've never been overly great with emotions, I think. I avoid crying like the plague, and anger scares me. Incidentally, nowadays, the emotions I tend to feel most of all, are sadness, fear, guilt, and anger/bitterness.

I guess, in their defense, especially for some people, it must be difficult to see past all the barriers we put up. The only time I can often truly see past these smiles, is with a partner of whom I'm so much in-love that I could tell a fake smile from a real one; this comes from experience. It's probably not fair to assume a doctor - someone whom isn't your best friend, partner, or family - should be able to familiarise themselves with you, so much that they can recognise your individual smiles. You could argue that it's up to us to be straight with them, but the problem with that, is years of habit - we may be so used to hiding behind a facade, that we don't know how to be us.

Thanks, yeah I know what you mean. I've always been the type of person to smile if I feel uncomfortable. My first reaction to getting told off at school/home was always to laugh because I felt so uncomfortable but I knew it wasn't appropriate and I really struggled with it.

When not in panic mode, I am a people-pleaser. I smile and make jokes and can sometimes be quite charming. But on the inside, it's still all wariness, over-sensitivity and cynicism.

Yes... and let's not forget anxiety. I am so anxious all the time.. my stomach is twisting itself in knots... yet I still smile and try not to pass it on to people around me. What else is there to do? It certainly won't make me feel any better if I drive everyone away with my 'haunted' look. I get tired of explaining why I feel like I do. So I pretend. It's a way of getting through the day

Yes, this is indeed a difficult situation. I don't always smile, and people still don't take me seriously--they're just, "What's wrong with you?" And if I tell them the truth I get the face palm. I went thru a stage when I was trying to "put on a happy face," but I came across as a dumb blonde and a flirt.

I worked at a retail store where it was literally me and like ten girls (I'm a guy)
I once told one of them I had never had a girlfriend and she liked freaked out and almost ever person was like WTF YOU!? YOU'RE SO CHIPPER AND FUNNY!

On a related note: I have always seen it as I feel bad, so I have no interest in anyone else feeling bad so I smile and hide how I feel so no one else can ever feel sad because of something I said.

general thread note: yeah I was at a doctor and they said "I literally can't tell if you're sad because you're sitting there laughing" which then of course I actually thought it was funny so I laughed again...

I agree, I have thought of it as a coping mechanism as well. I don't like conflict or for others to feel sad or upset. So I think I do it as a way to ease tension and to help the other person feel better about the situation. I think it's difficult to feel vulnerable infront of others as well.

Joining in....

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Makes it difficult, when having a bad day, because, then everyone around lands in pins and needles. And just want to say, listen, really, it's not you...gosh, can't I be of a serious face, every once in a while? Can't I, just drop the niceties and have more on my mind, than just here and now? I appreciate those, who can take the down moments, at face value, trusting, in time, I'll vent, when situation to vent more appropriate. Those, i classify as true friends...

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Did you know that many comedians have reported as being extremely depressed? I believe it. For me I was really depressed...and actually learned how to smile for others. I don't think it was an idea of faking it, or it being a mask like others have told me. I simply explained to them. No, its just simply in me. I just use it. I don't think joy ever leaves a human being. I just think its necessary to be sad sometimes even extremely. I have had on my FB That I cry everyday and laugh on most days. Its been on there ever since I had it. ..about maybe 7 years. I guess.
Though I have many dark expressions and may appear pessimistic to some. I can be extremely funny and comical. ...but I have to say, I only got more comical on things, when I got more oppressed/depressed. Its strange. ...but I will accept it as a gift, not a disorder. It works.

I have become such an expert at hiding the way i feel, that much of the time i feel numb , it has been sugested that i hide my feelings from myself.

This nice student in college (one of the few that aren't being mean to me) asked me if it bothered me that people are making up crap about my boyfriend's age. I told him I just don't care anymore. He asked me if I still lived with my parents and I told him the truth. My dad kicked me out as soon as I turned eighteen to sell his house and move in with his fiance and I haven't seen my mum since I was twelve. He then told me that I don't look like I have a troubled past. My only response was. "I wear a mask so the world doesn't eat me alive." My smile is my mask. But I'm broken.

I don't know it gives much more behind the other post, by I use to call my self the smilling girl. It sounds stupid but I think I smille most than the majority of people. It was cute when I was a kid, a shy smiling girl. I don't find it cute or nice now. Once a teacher asked me "she smiles a lot, doesn't she?" and a "friend" answered instead of me something like this. "She smiles a lot some times, and other times she's way to quiet". Well that teachers said I would had wrinckles if smilling so much...Maybe it's a defense, a nervous one, a way of act when you don't know how to act and how to feel.

My t says I have one of the toughest smiles he has ever come across. Said it's going to take a lot to break it. I've been with him for almost 2 years already and the smile is just as strong.

I've had to tell my pdoc that I hide behind my smile just so that she knows I'm more than what she sees in front of her. Telling her I'm very depressed and anxious with a smile on my face and joking around with her, seems quite wrong. So I've worked with my t on how to put the smile away or at least be able to tell my pdoc what's going on. I did so at my last appt. I know she can read notes from my t also, so he sent one talking about my hiding behind my smile so that I could get the help that I need. That certainly helped too.

I wear the same smile here at home. I hope to get to the point someday when I can put the smile away and be the real me. Just not sure who that is anymore. I've had others tell me (after learning of my diagnoses) they had no clue. That I'm always so happy and cheerful. Life is so exhausting pretending to be something that I'm not. I also look at it as my coping mechanism.

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I used to smile a lot. Wear a mask, hide the feelings.

Then intensive therapy and inpatient taught me to share my feelings, and share my struggles, now I cant put the mask back up. Dont lose the fake smile cos its bloody hard to get back. I wish the T's and pdocs had never torn it down, just makes life that little bit harder when people are constantly asking if you're ok or telling you to lighten up.

I do the same. All day long I deal with my employees and the public I act like Mr. Personality, joking and smiling and trying to make the work enjoyable. And it kills me. By the end of the day I am so worn out from the pretense that all I want to do is sleep. I know I can't act how I feel at work, but putting on this act everyday is so hard. And much like cranky old hermit, I am not one to speak openly about my emotions.

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