I hate myself

Im 22 years old virgin guy,who has no job,no education(just highschool),all friends have their own lives now and not even speaking to me,all i do is playing video games all days for past 2years thats all! My mom are really nice person who works hard to pay bills,but not my father he is lazy **** just like me.Im thinking of suicide everyday.Please help i want to change my life...But im lazy fat ****(a little chubby).HELP

Hey Nmz1. Welcome to PC. I'm glad you found us. Sounds like you're stuck. I think you may need to talk to a counselor or dr. You need some guidance on how to help yourself out of your rut. Obviously you are ready for a change because you posted here. So that is the good news!!! To begin with-- go outside and take a walk. Lack of sunshine can even contribute to feelings of depression. Next, pick up the phone and call a counseling service and get an appt. Next, see if there is a community college in your area and go look at their offerings. You can help yourself. You've already begun.
Good luck and please let us know how you go on.

Hello and welcome Nmz, I think that you should see your primary care Doctor, maybe have a chat with him, or why not start with your mom, she sounds lovely and I'm sure she would understand.

Welcome to pc. (((( nmz1))))

Well I am not dealing with quite the same situation I'm not a virgin, made it to college but had to drop out and I don't really have friends except one I haven't talked to in a while...but I can understand hating ones self and thinking of suicide every day. Not a good place to be that is for sure. Sorry I don't have much advice its to the point with me I am considering the psych ward again though I really don't want to but I'd rather do that than live in fear of myself.

Anyways I hope you can start feeling a little better, I think some good advice had been given...going to therapy or even changing up your daily routine to something a bit more active could have a positive impact. But if that proves ineffective then its not a terrible idea to consider hospitalization if you don't think you can keep from acting on the thoughts...though I hope its not to that point for you since that really sucks.

Hello nmz1 and welcome to PC, I'm new here as well. I completely understand what you're going through because your situation resembles mine in a lot of ways. I know it's cliche to say, but please don't be so hard on yourself, life has an interesting trait in that it can drastically change at any time. I still suffer from weight issues along with depression, especially after I had lost 90 pounds for nothing but to gain it right back. If your image is bothering you to the point that you feel uncomfortable about your weight, realize that although the "diet and exercise" lifestyle seems difficult, and media seems to portray it as a punishment, it is not impossible, and the most important thing is to go at your own pace, have fun with it, and never quit. More importantly though, you must love yourself and who you are, you are human. No one contains perfection. Try looking at positives of yourself and not always whats wrong, with that attitude, things tend to improve. Every person deserves a chance at happiness, and although it is hard, you will find it. People really do care, and if you ever think your life has no purpose, think of those people that would be shattered if you were gone. I hope your experience here is a enlightening one!

Nmz1,

You just described my life, except I'm 23 years old now, my dad is dead, and I have no friends at all. Everything else you said is my life and I know exactly what you mean. I do nothing but play video games, but lately I've been so depressed that I can't even do that. I usually just stare at the wall day dreaming about people I envy. I hate myself, my life, and most everything. I hate who I am to the core, hate my personality, I see how I look to people and see how they respond but I am unable to change it. I've been seeing a therapist for about 7 months now, a psychiatrist for about 4. Nothing helped, so I'm going to be partially hospitalized. I don't know if therapy will work for you, but you gotta try.

Welcome Nmz1
Bhrani is right
You can get out of your rut.
I can relate as I'm in a rut myself
and starting to take steps to get into
school. You can do it. Go get outside
and get some fresh air & sun it does help.
What would you like to do?
Begin today to make a list of small changes
that you would like to do.
It's alright if you love video games, but perhaps
you can integrate other things like going outside
for air, or going to the store, taking a ride somewhere
or even going to a park.
Depression is a very difficult mental illness.
But you'll be alright. Try some different distractions.
Also try going to the library that's a pretty good activity.
((((HUGS))))
You hang in there.

I felt exactly the way you did-- I hated everything about myself and I wanted to change but I felt powerless (like I couldn't change). Then I started talking to counselors and one of them said something that made me think of something that made me feel powerful. I don't remember what it was. But my thinking is if I can feel powerful at one point I must have the ability to feel powerful in me regardless of what I happening in my life, and just because I am not who I want to be right now doesn't mean I won't be someday. I had to give myself time to try and become the person I wanted to be.... take it day by day you know? make little accomplishments everyday. I am not saying I am a hundred percent right now because I am not. But I am no longer feeling like death is my only option. So please give yourself time to become the person you want to become. Realize that powerlessness feeling is just a feeling and you can feel powerful again. Realize that you have to focus on the little changes you make everyday. I will check back here and if you ever want to talk to me maybe you could let me know.... My name is Melissa. Just post-- Melissa I am feeling like... and I will do the best I can to help you though it. (your situation is very similar to mine)