scared and confused

First i would just like to appologize for not being on here in a while, it has just been too hard. Emotionally I am so unstable, and even thinking about coming on here (in the chance i might have to talk/think about my own problems ... well it has just been to hard.) But I have been doing my best to keep updated on postings here, and i am thinking about each an every one of you.

That being said, these past few weeks have been especially hard on me. I have no one to talk to, and its gotten to the point where i can't even think about things or i will physically feel ill, and will simply lose control and cry uncontrollably. Most of my issues are with my mother .. but I absolutely cannot bring myself to talk to her. I literally wake myself up in the night crying. The first time it happened i was so scared because i woke up bawling my eyes out and just knowing that i was doing this all "subconsciouls" just scared the hell out of me. it still does. and now i'm at a new university and don't know anyone ... and i'm suppose to be enjoying my frosh week but i'm so scared too. i want to drink and "experience" everything ... but i'm scared that it will only make me more depressed because alcohol does have that affect on me.

I want to look into the counselling services here, but I dont imagine they will be open until classes in a little over a week ... and it said on the website that full-time students have 8 free sessions per semester... that equals out to about twice a month ... and i dont know if that is enough.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this? i feel at such a loss right now ...

I am sorry you feel so islolated and sad. I do not have a lot to give right now but wanted to know I saw you and care

I don't really have any advice, but I want you to know I care (((((((((( jacq10 )))))))))))

Maybe you should look into a small college to start off in. Some colleges offer counseling free for the whole semester and you don't have to pay for any of their services. Another thing is that they have to stay open when office hours are open so if you just drop by down by their office someone will be there for you to talk to. If they are busy they will make an appointment for you to go see them. All I can sugest for now is just try it out for the first 8 times and if it helps then maybe it would be worth paying for the other sessions. But like I said you might want to look into a different college and find one that will have these services for free. You might feel better by doing that, just knowing that the service is there for you to use at any time you need it. Some colleges will even get the counselors up in the middle of the night if you are really needing to talk. Just a suggestion for you! I hope that things get better for you soon.

hey I know what you are going through. Iam at a university too. It can get very lonley. What helps me is to write in a journal. I will write down everything that is bothering me. I get all my emotions out on paper. I try to keep busy, keep my mind from drifting. Sorry about your relationship with your mom, I will pray for you. Hang in there.

hi jaqc10, i have missed you. am gald to see you are back and ready to beat these feelings.

dont worry about waking up crying, your subconcious needs to do this, go with it and allow yourself to cry.

please dont drink just because you feel you should. if you know alcohol has more bad effects than it has good, dont drink it. you need to be able to look after yourself and if alcohol makes you worse that wont help. it is a well known fact that alcohol contains a depressive chemical, so by drinking it you will naturally feel unhappier.

give the councilling a try. even though it is twice a month it will help you a great deal. and if you started seeing them and they realise how much you are suffering, they may transfer you to another councillor who is more frequent, or they may be able to extend the amount of times you can see them. it is only a basic time scale they give you, i am sure they will allow exceptions.

it is so hard to overcome the emotions you have. to be able to talk out starts you on a good path towards happiness. you have done the right thing by coming back for help.

a new uni is bound to be so hard to get use to. it is entirely new surroundings, new faces and new objectives. you have been removed from your comfort zone and are now in a "foriegn" place, allow yourself a little time to adjust and settle in. it is natural to be scared about something that big in your life. i am positive that once you settle in you will begin feeling better because you will make new friends and have more to do. dont forget, you have just started there, you cant expect to feel great about it so soon.

take care jacq10, and like i said, i am truly glad to see you back. let me know if theres anything you need ok. you dont need to be scared or confused anymore.

simon

oh and i didnt mention...

the issues with your mmum will be resolved in time. try talking to her. it might do you more good than you think.

it is bound to be hard to talk to someone so important in your life, but issues you have need to be addressed. so try to work on them and see what your heart tells you to do. if your heart says talk to her but your brain says no. talk to her. you need to do what you think will help you.

simon

New surrounding and a new lifestyle away from home can be daunting at first but give it two weeks and you will be fine. Right now there is no structure that you were use to and routine, but soon you will get into the rythm of the college scene and you will have fun. You are in a transition period and you seem to be the kind of person who likes to be into things and be busy and right now because of this transition period things have not started yet but they will soon. These feeling will past,college is to exciting of a time. Stick it out , soon you will be so busy these feeling will be a thing of the past. Remember thoughts are only that thoughts right it should not dicate to your physical,mental and spirtual well being.

thanks everyone .. it really does mean alot to see all of your support and advice. I will try and keep in mind some of the things that you mentioned, and i can only hope that things will get better. I am going to look into the counselling services and get more details .. i really do need someone to talk to. And i know that things are even more difficult because i am in a completly new environment.. but i actually met alot of cool people tonight, so hopefully things will be looking more up for me.