Feeling overwhelmed

First I'm new to this forum thing. Second I did post on another forum topic (Health Care)...anyway I suffer from clinical depression. I am on medication I'm feeling overwhelmed because I am taking care of a friend who has 3 terminal illnesses and I'm also going thru a divorce. My soon to be ex and I have been separated for 3 yrs and we've lived in different cities for that time. We still live in different cities. Anyway I feel like I have no time to myself. Also I feel like I've lost something or someone (the divorce). I don't mean to be selfish or whiny. My friend means the world to me. She's been more of a mother to me than my own mom has. I love taking care of her and making sure that she's doing ok. I just....oh heck I don't know how I feel.I also have a 14yr old daughter (lives with her dad...we weren't married) and I don't get to see her as much. I have sent her emails but she hasn't responded. Add to that my family and I don't talk....feels like I'm alone...don't have any friends to talk with about what I'm going thru.Feels like the walls are closing in. Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Gypsy,

I'm sorry this is such a sad and lonely time for you. I'm glad you found PC. There are a lot of wonderful and supportive people here, who are willing to listen. It does sound like you have a lot on your plate. Sometimes we can find ourselves in some lonely places in life.

Please feel free to PM me anytime.

Hugs,

EJ

Welcome gypsylace. This is a great place to be. I am new also. Everyone here has been very supportive, kind, and honest. I admire your strength to be such a wonderful caretaker. Please take care of yourself.

Dee

(((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))) gypsylace...we are here for you to talk with whenever you need....!!!!

Thank you for the email. I appreciate the support.
Take care,
Gypsylace

firstly, can i just welcome you to PC. in time you will feel more and more at home here and slowly things will become better.

it takes tremendous strength to do what you are doing, to take care of a terminally ill friend, whilst going through a divorce and not having family to turn to.

it is easy to see why you feel this way, and why you have been diagnosed with depression. depression is an awful things and just snowballs unless you stand up to it. i believe that, by coming to PC you are standing up to it and we can stand up there with you, for extra strength. you dont need to be alone in this, no one does.

your daughter, 14 years old you say? at 14 she wont know herself properly, or what she wants. just give it time, when she hits a certain age she is going to want her mum in her life and when she does, make sure you are there for her. she will want you back in the future, shes just growing up, finding her feet.

once the divorce is over with, you can lead a happier life knowing this man is out of your life now. just stick with it, the divorce wont last forvever. all of what you are doing is leading you to being a happier, healthier person so just go with it.

i hope you find what you need here at PC. you certainly have done the right thing by signing up here.

please know that i am here for you if you should want me ok. just pm me anytime if you need someone. we can all be strong together.

simon

Welcome gypsy, you can always talk to us. You have a lot on your plate right now, and I reckon it would do you good to be able to talk about things, imho.
I'm sorry to hear of your friend's poor health but she is lucky to have such a caring friend like you.

Simply Simon I just wanted to say that you always give such good advice...You have a good ear to hear what people are really asking for! Thank you for being here!

Welcome gypsy.. i agree.. you are definately strong... and no doubt as much of a blessing to this lady as she has been to you...

I think Simon is right on about your daughter.. she is at that age when she is finding her independence.... and trying to be grown up.. keeping up with her peers... just keep on letting ehr know you love her and miss her...

As far as the divocre goes, it is almost like a death.. something you need to grieve.. even though you have been seperated for 3 years.. once it becomes final.. it becomes real..

Wishing you the best...Faith

Simply_Simon:

Thank you so much for your advice and understanding!!!! It does help. My friend is in the hospital and she's depressed, wants to go home etc. She kept talking the other day about her wanting to die and I really didn't need to hear that.I mentioned it to her son (that I really didn't need to hear some of the things that she was talking about) and now he has Home Health care companies lined up to interview with her (if she wants). I just don't know what I should do. I asked her if she wanted someone else to take care of her but she said that she couldn't answer that right now. I feel like I'm in limbo. I know that she's depressed because of being in hospital and the meds she's taking. It can be pretty tough to deal sometimes.

I appreciate the advice that you gave me about my daughter. I know that her "attitude" isn't personal..it's her age but that's hard for me to take because she doesn't live with me and I don't get to see her that often.

I appreciate your willingness to listen. I hope you are doing well and things in your life are going good.

Take care

gypsylace

gypsylace...

your friend is bound to be depressed right now, it must be so so hard for her to deal with, but i am sure she is so grateful to have a friend like you by her side. i think all you need to do right now for her is to ask her what she wants and try to provide it. the home help could be good for her if she decides she wants it. to be able to be at home would help her feel better as its familiar, safe surroundings. give her a few days to think about it.

you'll know what to do soon enough, as will your friend. it sounds good that her son is willing to help you help her, he is sharing the responsibility which makes it that little easier for you. and with you feeling better, you can provide better help and care for your friend.

make sure you take care of yourself first though, you are the most important person in your life and you cant possibly provide substantial support for your friend if you are down yourself. im guessing that because your friend is on meds and is depressed, she will say things that she doesnt mean and you need to be able to hear them but remain strong for her, so make sure you are good first. she might want to die right now, but deep down she doesnt mean it, most people who go through depression want to die from it, it is so consuming that we think its the best way out, but with help she will heal and become happier and healthier.

i admire your courage and friendship with your friend. you are a gift to this world gypsylace. if only everyone who was in the same situation as your friend had someone like you by their side.

and your daughter will come round soon, as she gets older she will want to see you, for definate. you may not be able to see her right now but you will shortly. focus on yourself and your friend for the time being, the situation with your daughter cannot be helped right now, as long as you make her aware that you love her and miss her (but dont force it onto her) she will see that and want to start seeing you again. im sure of it.

well take care gypsylace, and i am here for you if you want me ok

simon (simply_simon)

Welcome to PC gypsylace. That is a lot to contend with in life. You have way too much on your plate, right now, imo. (In my opinion)

Does the doctor who prescribes your med also give you time to talk with them? Can that doctor refer you to a psychologist so you do have someone to talk with about how to take better care of yourself (psychologically?)

You simply MUST step back away from some of the responsibility of your friend ..imo..at least until the divorce is final. It's so stressful..all of it. You just have to make time to do some things for yourself, and if that includes seeing your teen daughter, then do it.

Of course you are feeling overwhelmed, because you are! Please think about other options for a little while, so you don't completely go under with the depression, ok?

You have PC to talk with now. TC