[bluedolphin92]

Down, down, down...What more is there to say?

I am so unbelievably grateful that my Doc wrote me a scrip for Effexor. I am one month free of depression. I just cannot express how this feels!

[1948kate]

Good day. Good sleep. Wonderful meditation session this morning. Hope to stay in this space the rest of my life. (A girl can dream!)

[themonster7]

Feeling indescribably lazy, but I prefer that to the apathy and sadness.

[tigersassy]

Working on me. So happy about that. So not super up but kindda up.

[themonster7]

Had some beer tonight. No longer feeling lazy, now everything is just down. I hate my life and I hate myself. If I was strong enough to kill myself I would have done it years ago.

[1948kate]

A little anxious today for no apparent reason, otherwise feeling good.

[shamon86]

This is a bad day. The pain is back. It's been gone for a couple weeks I almost forgot what it felt like. But it's worse then ever and I don't know what to do. I almost want to scream at the top of my lungs until my voice gives. But even that won't help. Nothing will help. I don't know how to make it through the rest of this day at work. I can't pretend to be nice to these people when I feel so completely miserable. It hurts too much...

[don964964]

I don't feel anything but sadness and nolthing I hurt everyday all the time my body and mind id going away, so I hurt myself I felt nothing I did it ncause some people do ? I don't feel anything......will this ever end ? will it ? is it a curse from the past ? I don't want to be here anymore....
ok Bark ... I saw a lil patch of weed flowres it made me smile .... but then it hurt ... memories .. of past .. happy ,sad ... what have I become ? good memories ,sad memories ,,'the fake oh life is good ? oh god sorry all

the lone female coyote came for a drink to day , she is so sweet , and quite , she lets ya see her ... she makes me ... I think my ol dog likes her he just waches her and some time s gets me to see her the ravens came today to play that's a smile they are so family orented I wish I had a friend to talk to ! peace love hope to yall

x

[themonster7]

I've been drinking tonight, because I'm almost drinking, because it kills my social anxiety and allows me to talk to the people I'm around. I was actually sort of happy until I got on this forum, and now I'm just worried for everyone. Please everybody stay safe and keep fighting.

[1948kate]

Anxious again today. This is getting old.

today's not been too bad - mainly ups

even managed to watch atlantis without my voices talking to me

[Marla500]

feeling sad that one of the people in my family that I have always been there for doesn't have time for the family anymore but rushes to the aid of his friends whenever they need him. it really hurts.

UPS
Had an awesome day with my daughter.
DOWNS
Not sure how to read her Mama. She is in a very emotional place and I just don't get female emotions sometimes. I hope she is OK.

[Patagonia]

Totally down today. H was in a horrible mood which just magnifies everything I'm doing wrong, everything I'm not doing & everything I should be doing. Sometimes I wish I could have a substitute mom jump in & make things better until I'm better. I'm doing major damage to my family! I can see it...in all of them. What would they be like or how would their life be if I wasn't involved in it? That eats away @ my soul!

[Nammu]

I want out, out of this pit of despair. Feel so guilty and wrong for breathing.

[omofca]

I can't go on like this much longer. I want to die.

[tigerlily84]

The training class is going well I think. As well as it can be. I have noticed that right before I see them, I feel so nervous and want to hide. I'm not trying to avoid my work, but I'm also not used to speaking to 20+ people at one time. I think ultimately it's good for me to do this, because it takes me outside of my comfort zone. Outside of work, I don't have anything else going for me. Thinking about that is depressing, so I focus on my work, because it's the area of my life where I am deriving some kind of pleasure, if not purpose. But it still feels empty.

[dandylin]

I got most of my law homework done today. Class tomorrow. I still need to finish philosophy and write a narrative for Tuesday. I've been fluctuating between depression and just blah for a while now.

[omofca]

Inspired by The Shawshank Redemption. Saw it for the first time tonight and it will not be my last. That movie made my week. If you're feeling really down you should watch it.

Feeling extremely depressed today, purposeless. I have a DBSA board meeting today but don't have the motivation to go. I know I'll go, but my depression will linger. I hate this.

Originally Posted by Dianerrs

A lot of things are happening that should make me happy, and they do, briefly, but I just... don't see the point in doing any of it. I'm doing what I need to do to be 'responsible', because it's what I'm supposed to be, but my heart just isn't in to any of it when I have a quiet moment to think. My heart isn't in anything.

I'm just sad. Apathetic almost. I put out to the people around me that I'm doing a bit better, and this path to treatment is helping, but the truth is, I don't really know if I'm better or worse off than I was before.

Dianners, you took the words right out of my mouth. At least we know we're not alone in our thoughts and feelings. Keep on keepin' on, and so will I.

been self harming a lot this morning- and this afternoon i'm feeling a little better, i guess. not much, but yeah..

[tokiwartooth]

I've been really down lately. I will feel a little better when he comes home.

[lindammarie]

Worn out. Just want to go to bed for about a week. Of course, I cannot... Maybe a nap during lunch hour might help, but I doubt it.

I wonder if anyone with a broken leg gets told that they're not REALLY experiencing pain?