[Bark]

Originally Posted by HiddenInPlainSight

Had my first actual work day (on the floor) as a new nurse... then came home to have my wife rip my head off and ask me if I want a divorce before she headed off to her job. If I didn't have my 2 kids I wouldn't be here waiting for her to come home tonight... alive or otherwise.

I can't imagine how that must feel. She couldn't wait until you were both staying home to talk? Or at least not ruin your first day? How was the first day, by the way?

[Bark]

Originally Posted by 1948kate

A little down today. My PCP says my antidepressant is causing the high bloodpressure. I've been on all the SSRIs, tryciclics, SNRIs, Wellbutrin. I don't want to have another suicidal depression. Am also reaching poorly to Limictal. I'm getting very discouraged!

I know they're a last result, but there are still the MAOIs. There are also non-medicinal (albeit more expensive) alternatives. Are you seeing a therapist? I don't recall. It must be very discouraging, but don't give up hope that you'll find something! I think you said you've been doing well, other than the high blood pressure, so there must be a medication out there that would help without severe side effects, I would think.

[Bark]

Originally Posted by themonster7

I don't know. I'm unhappy but I don't know. I never know, why don't I know? I'm so dumb...

I felt the same way, themonster7. I still do, from time to time. You're not dumb. Sometimes you feel depressed, but because you aren't so low you can't get out of bed, you feel like it's your fault you feel that way, and you blame yourself. You can't have depression because you're functional. At least, that's how I would feel. But it's still depression all the same. That's one of the worst parts of it, in my opinion.

[Bark]

Welcome to the new folks, and hugs to everyone, both those doing well and those not doing not so well. It's nice to hear about the good news, and I'm hopeful that those down in the depths will climb back out again.

Missed work and class in the morning because I was so exhausted I literally had no energy. I tried getting up at one point, but just standing still was too much for me. I think it's a combination of getting home late last night and taking my medication late as well. I've decided that I should go home as early as possible from now on, so I have the energy to clean and study and so on.

[tigerlily84]

Today has been good so far.

I managed to get my insurance and my T's office on the phone to get some billing issues cleared up - it's been weighing heavily on my mind so I'm so glad this was taken care of. I also have an appointment with my GP today. It's the first appointment with this doctor, but it's just for a physical. I need to start taking better care of myself. I was discussing this with my T the other day - the need to take care of myself, because I am worth it. It feels good.

Now I'm going to get some supplies for my Halloween costume before my appointment.

[Rose76]

Still feeling good, but tired today.

[ScathachWarrior]

I was great all day and now I just feel terrible. Don't even know what triggered it. The last two days were great and now I'm barely holding it together. I'm so frustrated I want to scream. I'm tired of this. I want to enjoy the rest of this year, have fun with my friends, work hard in school, but my depression is eating into me. I'm tired of hurting, of being lonely. I'm tired of everything. I don't want to do this anymore.

[looner_be]

I think I feel more better today after 2 days crying all the time... But every time my mom come to my room, it's started again, I'm little bit shaking and sweating, and my heart beat is fast, fortunately I stop crying when hear her voice.. Need do more meditation..

[Charl S]

So fed-up! Tired of problems! I wish things would just work out for a change. How am I gonna cope with this problem now again? I don't feel like I have any more energy left.

[IndieVisible]

This was one of my most elevated days in a while! I felt great all day. Could not wipe the smile off my face! No anxiety at all until I get to work and logon to facebook and read my wifes message. I dread going on FB because I expect a message from her that will bring me down a few notches. Never fails. She always pesters me about working as many hours as I can, how we are going under, all the bills. Well even that only fazed me slightly this time and remained elevated for the rest of the day! No worries, anxiety, irritability, anger, depression none of that at all. I felt on top of the world for a change. It was great!

ups
Honestly it was just a damn fine day!
Downs
As soon as I got to work, it all went to poo!

[phaset]

Ok, I haven't posted in here for a very long time. I saw that the check in thread was on page two, so I decided to fix that.

Last time I posted I thought my medication was working, but for the last few weeks I have been feeling crappy and sad again. I'm still really anxious too. It is still doing something, my mind is still quieter, and I'm not as depressed as I was before. I may ask my doctor to up my prescription the next time I see him.

It's possible that the crappy mood is due to the assessment that I am going through, which I've found very stressful. It's bringing up lots of bad memories from when I was in elementary school and I am having a very hard time coping. I was supposed to get a call yesterday for him to set up the appointment to provide me with his diagnosis and report, but he didn't call. He hasn't told me any of the results yet, other than he strongly suspects that I have ADHD. Hopefully this will be over soon.

[tigerlily84]

I like my doctor. She's really nice. And I also got my flu shot, along with a booster for tetanus and whooping cough - one in each arm. I'm exhausted, so I'm glad that I had a short shift today at work.

[IndieVisible]

Day Two: STILL FEEL ELEVATED! Best I've felt in such a long time. Nothing seems to be bothering me and no anxiety yet. At work now, the real test will be after 6:00am because I'm staying over till 7:30 and will be running in to a lot of people I normally never see and my bosses too. Hoping I slide by that too. Meanwhile I couldnt feel better. TWO DAYS IN A ROW! That is outstanding for me!

[bronzeowl]

Had another appointment today. I don't think it went very well. It was like I suddenly forgot how to freaking speak. Everything I wanted to say was suddenly forgotten. But there's always next time, I guess.

Feeling... apathetic. When I tried to enjoy Halloween, I realized with a sudden jolt that I am completely apathetic about everything this year. I thought, maybe, I could at least enjoy Halloween. But I couldn't. I'm not looking forward to Christmas, nor Thanksgiving, nor New Years. Not even my birthday in January. I'm not looking forward to anything. It's more like I'm just trudging through life, day by day, stuck in monotony. I realized with a sudden jolt that I'm joyless. Unless I'm in an elevated state, there simply is no joy for me anymore. None.

So, I'm sitting here in bed. Wondering what to do, but realizing that I won't enjoy it either way.

Ups? None that I can think of.
Downs? Everything.

[tokiwartooth]

I'm back from Milwaukee. I had a great time. I have decided that I am going to move there someday, when I've gotten experience in my field, and then I will start looking for jobs there.

Up
Up
Up
To the ceiling, as I feel my soul start leaving
Like an old mans hair receding

[onionknight]

I honestly don't know if I'm getting better or worse.

[IndieVisible]

Day 3: still feeling great, elevated, but today I did experience some irritability and anger on my drive to work because I was running late and rushing and ran in to a lot of slow pokes on the road. Other then then another great day! 3 in a row! I'm on a roll!

[Patagonia]

Please someone just put me out of my misery! A person can only tolerate so much pain before they give in to it

Ups: Good day so far. Have plans with my husband to get out and do stuff, so that always makes me feel better.

Downs: none really, at the moment

[tigerlily84]

I'm at work and it's moving at a glacial pace. Has an argument with my mom last night and now I feel bad. I'll have to go see her later to make amends.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[bronzeowl]

I started to feel really, really, really up last night. Got some writing done. Almost thought I wouldn't sleep. Then with a sudden, quick jolt. The meds seemed to work against my mind. And I passed out. Slept for a while. Woke up and now I'm not sure how I feel. Right back to just.. meh. Apathy. No sorrow. No elevation. Just meh.

Both thankful and cursing that the meds are having an effect on me. Because part of me wants to get better, but I think there's a deep part of me that wants to fight it.

I'm also so bored.

[Nammu]

Hi. I'm still in MN no wireless most places so I'm off the web. Just posting here that I'm doing good.

[Bark]

Wasted my day. Slept too much and I haven't gone outside. I wasn't feeling depressed, though, I don't think. I had food to eat and felt all right.

Now it's late and the Internet wasn't working for the longest time and I know I should take my medication and sleep... but I don't want to. I drank tea today... and I'm still tired. I haven't been awake for 12 hours even.

Hating myself right now.