[Silverfootedelf]

Struggling to have the energy to do anything just want to sleep this feeling away!

I'm with regretful, birdpumpkin and snuggles. If only I could feel the way I did this time last year - -- which was anything but depressed. I was hypomanic and feeling great! Now I just feel this bad depression every day. At least today I had breakfast with a friend and lunch with my husband, ran an errand. Other than that, it was business as usual: facebook messaging and emailing with friends, and t.v. Not much of a life . . .

[waggiedog]

Hello and good day. Following a seven month absolutely awful suicidal depressive cycle, this last six weeks has been much much better. I really had to fight my Psych Dr to prescribe me my antidepressants back again because I knew they'd help me. Within three weeks I was not spending 22 hours under the duvet, I was leaving the house and working in the garden ~ oh and taking my love Waggie~Doggie out for long walks. It wasn't all down to meds, I've been doing both group and one to one DBT/CBT. Yes, I very much APPRECIATE feeling so much better. I'm scared that the depression will come back, it always does sooner or later. HUGS. XXXXXXXXXX

[TheOriginalMe]

Sometthing odd happened today, I was walking in the park, the sun was shining, the birds were singing, generally it was peaceful and I felt alive and was able to appreciate what was around me. I lost the apathy and the anhedonia. Early days, so many set backs, so many false starts, but please let it be my time for remission, please, please, please. I would do just about anything for this to be for real. I'm not too proud to beg.

[mulan]

Today I explored the most hidden places around the hospital in order to kill some time, and by some time I mean an hour.
I hadn't anyone to be with, I deeply fear to go the students room and picking someone to be with instead of other people without knowing if they want me there. I don't like to break conversations specially when I'm not wanted. I do hate to be seen alone, so that's my hour walking around places I couldn't be seen.

I hadn't do this for a long long time, probably my memory is not accurated, but I haven't found myself in a situation like this (that is very likely to happen in the other days of this week and the next one) since 2008...amazing!

Felt great yesterday afternoon and was suicidal by bedtime. Today I am feeling lonely, but determined and motivated to get things on the right track.

[tigerlily84]

I saw a T for the first time since November. I'm not sure if I like him. Trying to decide if I should give it a couple more sessions or if I should keep looking for someone else..

[Espresso]

Some ******* idiot egged my car.

[JustTvTroping]

I'm not exactly sure how I feel. It's like this odd mixture of numbness and emotional agony only much more subtle and quietly searing. I have no idea what to call that, and why I'm feeling it. Maybe there's pent up emotions trying to get out but can't-or something. Either way, I'm confused.

[Hopefullywellsoon1]

Struggling today. Didn't want to be awake at 7am so took 100 of serequal so I could sleep as long as possible. Woke up again at 11. Can't see the positives in life or the point....

[regretful]

I'm starting to believe that I've always been depressed...it is so miserable feeling this way.

[tigersassy]

It's been a while I'm not depressed currently. I wanted to check in and share my new encouragement. I got my first tattoo on Sunday night (been a long time in the works). I fell in love with the image and want to share. It says believe from my side and dream from the other. With a butterfly for each word. uploadfromtaptalk1403097427556.jpg

Tig

[TheOriginalMe]

Hey I wish you could all feel just a bit of the better mood I have. I'm volatile, easily triggered but no longer overwhelmed. I'll settle for this, for as long as it lasts, but I'm also feeling a bit greedy and would like this to be the start of something much better.

Hugs to those who need them or want them, I want to make everyone better, you all deserve it so much. Damn-it I feel a bit guilty because I know some of you are stuck. Like I said, volatile and easily triggered, but this type of emotion is manageable.

[Olor1973]

I'm on a downward spiral and there is no coming back from this one

[Hellion]

Not sure how to describe it sort of a mix of anger and thoughts of 'to hell with it' when it comes to hoping for any real improvements in society...more or less.

[Espresso]

It's been a sad day.

[RunningInTheRain]

Feeling a little down today and hoping that it's not a relapse.

[waterknob1234]

Originally Posted by TheOriginalMe

Hey I wish you could all feel just a bit of the better mood I have. I'm volatile, easily triggered but no longer overwhelmed. I'll settle for this, for as long as it lasts, but I'm also feeling a bit greedy and would like this to be the start of something much better.

Hugs to those who need them or want them, I want to make everyone better, you all deserve it so much. Damn-it I feel a bit guilty because I know some of you are stuck. Like I said, volatile and easily triggered, but this type of emotion is manageable.

Don't feel guilty. I am happy for you. I want all of us to get better. Improvement is great. You are a good person and deserve to feel better.

[waterknob1234]

I went to my medical doctor today for help with migraine headaches. My medical doc prescribed two affordable migraine meds. He agrees I should see a psychiatrist and take the medication the psychiatrist prescribed. My medical doc is very nice and helpful so I always feel better when I see him. I'm going broke paying for doctors but I am determined to get well. I believe there has to be hope. I also plan to have a family meeting with my husband and adult daughter to iron some things out with them. I am the only person in the family earning a steady salary and everyone else depends on me. Things are so crazy at work and they are firing people. Who knows, I could be next. They will have to at least try to step up to the plate.

[lizzyjb]

A little up. Yesterday I had a job interview. My self esteem is a little bit higher although I'm pretty sure that the job is not going to be mine. I don't speak a good English and they were looking for a bilingual English Spanish spoken.
So I have to improve my English after all.

[maddnessreturns]

I've only been back at work since Monday and I already dread getting up in the morning to go. It doesn't help I have zero energy and am exhausted. Depression is still not getting better.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[tickledviolet73]

Sorry to hear that maddnessreturns. Mornings are terrible for me as well. I drink a few cups of coffee while reading these forums then physically make myself get into the shower and get to work on time. I feel like it has to be the hardest part of the day for those suffering with depression. Hang in there.

[regretful]

Depression is the worst possible affliction. It's a sickness of the mind for which the cure seems to be right there, but remains elusive. I'm in the throes of it, and it's relegated me to feeling as if I am simply existing rather than living. I hate feeling like this...

[Hellion]

Just not in the most wonderful mood...and now I get to play 'try not to snap at anyone in frustration and piss them off' all day or until my mood improves hope I can pull that up.

[TheOriginalMe]

Forgot my meds last night. Not a major disaster like it has been with some drugs in the past, but I certainly felt rough this morning, but with a bit of activity and focus I got going eventually and have felt OK since. Remembered the meds tonight, double checked and triple checked. I don't want to mess this up.

One thing I've noticed is that although my mood is better, I've lost so much confidence, I can't believe the things I used to be able to do, like speak at conferences, why would anyone want to listen to me? I wonder if I will get that level of confidence back or am I getting too far ahead of myself? I'm not even sure I'm ready to go back to work yet.

To those of you who can't be hopeful of something better, I'm thinking of you, I remember that dark, lonely place and I want you to know I'm here.