[Hellion]

hmmm Great I am an idiot and made a thread get closed because of a couple posts that drifted away from the initial point a little bit.... leave it to me to have threads closed. Didn't know mentioning a potential alternative treatment to depression in a thread about depression was really so off topic but should have known.

[Bark]

Originally Posted by Hellion

hmmm Great I am an idiot and made a thread get closed because of a couple posts that drifted away from the initial point a little bit.... leave it to me to have threads closed. Didn't know mentioning a potential alternative treatment to depression in a thread about depression was really so off topic but should have known.

One person can't make a whole thread go off-topic. There must have been a discussion going on, and it's possible that the OP didn't want their thread going the way it was. At the end of the day, it's only a thread, and anyone can always create a new one. I don't think you're an idiot.

[waterknob1234]

Originally Posted by seekersinking

It's back. Depression. Abandonment. How do I get off this crazy #*#*?

Hugs to seekersinking

[waterknob1234]

Originally Posted by Little Jay

Just want to go home and curl up in bed and cry and hide away from the world
Feel so hopeless / useless / sad / fed up / pathetic / confused and empty all at the same time!

Hugs to LittleJay

[Maskon]

Moody mooderson.
Self loathing and anxious.
Blahhhhhhhh. Frustrated!

[mulan]

I enter this forum with the hope I may find some comfort and well being in here. If I enter I magically start to feel lonely and just a little dispair, even if I don't have any reason to feel like that. And then, all I want is to share all the things that had hurt me sometime in the hope someone has the miracle words that will turn my life up side down. I'm still (and will) looking for the strange, that I want to always be a strange to me, that has the cure to fix my heart.

[healingme4me]

I really think, I operate in a state of perpetual blue-ness. Calm mellow, is how IRL, I am described. Kind, yes. Spunky, gawd no. Sassy, yeah, kinda have that quality. I find, I operate in a way, that says, I am just not going back 'there' to when I was 15. I operate, knowing how many of those I have loved, I have lost. And I mean, permanently lost, of this world.
Guess the trouble, I find myself with...is when I start speaking, everyone wishes I went back to that quiet closed off deeply serious girl. irl.

I'm feeling that my depression is back, I guess. Today I woke up this morning feeling really bad. Had breakfast and did a little bit of cleaning. I felt bad all morning. I got together with my friend around 11:30. We didn't know what to do, but we ended up at a cemetery, of all places!

I felt very depressed all morning, and of all things, I started to feel better and peaceful when we were at the cemetery. At first my friend suggested to go there because he said that he wanted to leave flowers for his late father in law. But we never got the flowers. But he had wanted to show me of his plot, which was indoors. But the building was closed.

We were going to have lunch at an Italian restaurant that we've been to before. I was looking forward to it but it was closed. So we ended getting Mexican food. It was nice to be with him this afternoon. I told him how I feel with depression, but he does not seem to understand.

Tonight I felt very tired. Funny how I should feel that way since this was a long weekend. Felt very depressed also. It seems like those living around me have people to visit them, and I don't have anybody.

[Hellion]

I don't know about exactly how I feel, but I do know being the only person who cannot sleep on the interwebs this early morning is bothering me since I'd love to converse some but no ones awake at almost 4 in the morning when my mind can get very active so what the hell do I expect...others to be awake at this ridiculous hour? lol

Nothing to do aside from try and sleep I guess....perhaps tommorrow I can find a website with people who are awake in early hours of the morning, though don't know if there are any mental health sites where people are somewhat active during my weird awake times.

[dandylin]

eh...bleh

[tigerlily84]

Worried about too many things... I don't know where to start.

At times like this, I wonder why am I even alive? Because I'm not living.

[regretful]

I wake up each morning with the thought that I've ruined not only my own life, but that of my wife and son as well. This never ending he** of depression is excruciating.

[Grey Matter]

Miserable.

[tigerlily84]

Busy day, in that I had a T appt along with a pdoc appt on the same day. T wants me to think about what I will need to do (or not do) to survive at work while I am looking for another job. I just about had a panic attack right there in session in regards to returning to work, money issues, and family issues. I was very embarrassed, but he helped to calm me down and focus on what I had to do.

I was able to head down to the disability office between sessions to get some questions answered, and then brought the paperwork to my pdoc's office so she could complete it. I've been on leave since 8-14 and have not received any funds from disability because it's ridiculous trying to get through to them over the phone. And thanks to many family obligations, I haven't been able to go down to the office until now. I go back to work 9/11 so I am anxious about that too. blah.

biggest issue these days is money. its not that I cant go out and splurge, its that I am having trouble just paying for the normal things in life. What gives anyway?!

[waterknob1234]

Happy that I had a fairly good day at work for a change. That is sooo rare. The head doctor started getting snappy early in the morning. When I stopped to think what he was actually fussing about it was such a trivial matter it wasn't worth getting upset about. It did not take him long to get over his bad mood thankfully. I was proud in that I did not take his mood personally like I usually do. I just wish I could get over the migraine headaches that have plagued me for three months.

[Can't Stop Crying]

so far down...no way to climb out

[VMblue]

I can feel it coming on again. The extreme tiredness. I am sad, but these last few weeks I can't seem to cry. It stops behind my eyes, but won't come out. I can feel myself falling. My chest is tightening up. Starting to ruminate again and nothing will stop it. And I have a meeting after work that will last until at least 9pm. So tired. I want to go to bed. I want to cry.

[Little Jay]

Feeling lost today. Don't really know how I feel, or what I want, or even if I matter in this world because I'm nothing important. Sat at work with a terrible headache, can't focus on what I need to do and just want to curl up in a ball under my desk and sleep / hide. Counting down until home time so I can go and crawl into bed.

[regretful]

The worst part of this is remembering that there was a time when I looked forward to every minute of each day. Now, I'm trapped in this loop of disastrous depression that seems like it is never going to end, and when it does end, it won't end well. I hate my life.

[Fuzzybear]

[SeekerOfLife]

(((Fuzzy)))

[Wade_Wilson]

I feel helpless, like im falling down a bottomless pit. Every happy thought gets shot down. Every time I feel like reaching out to family or friends I stop, for fear of adding to their burdens.

[tigerlily84]

Exhausted. I cut the trazodone tablet in half but I still feel like I have a hangover.