[amandaag010]

Are we supposed to post how we are currently feeling?
What difference would it make if I post ? Nobody would read it. Let's be real.

I've been to several other forums which supposedly supports people with all sorts of emotional problems. None of them helped. Ive instead dealt with people who don't even want to connect with you .

So what would make this forum different ? I'm so exhausted. I'm tired of saying I need people that cares because it won't happen. What is wrong with having a little dependency on people for emotional support? You want me to be an insensitive emotionless brat?

Don't even tell me to shut up or stop being negatively without even trying to understand where I'm coming from

What's so hard about having people in my life that cares ? Meh. Never mind . Not worth asking. I will always be known for bugging and irritating people

Right. I wasted time posting this. Who would read this anyway? Nobody. This is not to seek any attention btw but assume whatever you want to assume

Idk what to say

[H-H-H-H]

[herethennow]

feeling meh. down, but i feel like i shouldn't show it here either.
so.. either way.. to outsiders... i'm always pretending that i am fine.

not looking forward to seeing the docs and answering their questions. this is one part i dread about being hospitalised - being asked the same things everyday.

[TheOriginalMe]

Originally Posted by boomerango

I am guessing that some of you will know how absurdly proud I am that I cleaned the kitchen and bathrooms really well. For about 5 minutes, you could eat off the floors. usually, I am barely able to do the bare minimum for clean. It's been many months since I could do even a little more.

Me too, one of my therapy targets was to be able to spend 1 hour a week on cleaning my bedroom. The day after we set that target my T discharged me because I was too depressed and risky for her service I felt so useless admitting that I couldn't do such a basic task and then hopeless because even my T thought I was too depressed to function. It took me three months to clean my bedroom from top to toe, but I did it last week. So well done for cleaning your kitchen and bathroom.

[TheOriginalMe]

Need to settle down for the night, I'm at work in the morning. I am worrying about that so I'm not sure I'll sleep.

[angelene]

Feeling rather neutral today. Took another hour nap courtesy of Geodon. But I was able to get right up when I awoke this morning, so maybe the drowsiness is going away. One can only hope.

[Rose76]

Originally Posted by amandaag010

Are we supposed to post how we are currently feeling?
What difference would it make if I post ? Nobody would read it. Let's be real.

I've been to several other forums which supposedly supports people with all sorts of emotional problems. None of them helped. Ive instead dealt with people who don't even want to connect with you .

So what would make this forum different ? I'm so exhausted. I'm tired of saying I need people that cares because it won't happen. What is wrong with having a little dependency on people for emotional support? You want me to be an insensitive emotionless brat?

Don't even tell me to shut up or stop being negatively without even trying to understand where I'm coming from

What's so hard about having people in my life that cares ? Meh. Never mind . Not worth asking. I will always be known for bugging and irritating people

Right. I wasted time posting this. Who would read this anyway? Nobody. This is not to seek any attention btw but assume whatever you want to assume

Idk what to say

You're new to PC, by the date under your avatar. I would recommend you try starting a thread about whatever is toughest on your life right now. I find that I get nice responses to threads I've started. People get to know you that way, then can follow you better on a check-in thread like this. Just a thought. Sounds like you could use some support.

I'm guilty. Fell asleep just after supper and my son was up playing video games until midnight. He still wasn't asleep an hour later, and gets up 5 hours after that. Holidays have now been long enough. I want to get up and do things. Saw the chiro, and for the $ spent on taxi and his fee, wasn't worth it. He barely did anything at all. Not going again. It is tough with money right now.
I was doing this all to make me better so I'd maybe be able to work again. Fell, already said that.... am mad cuz there's more things going wrong. Have to wait for a few days to see doc again. Guess I am depressed. Some moment's I made myself laugh at myself, otherwise I'd be so nuts.
Hugs to all suffering

[tz90]

Originally Posted by amandaag010

Are we supposed to post how we are currently feeling?
What difference would it make if I post ? Nobody would read it. Let's be real.

I've been to several other forums which supposedly supports people with all sorts of emotional problems. None of them helped. Ive instead dealt with people who don't even want to connect with you .

So what would make this forum different ? I'm so exhausted. I'm tired of saying I need people that cares because it won't happen. What is wrong with having a little dependency on people for emotional support? You want me to be an insensitive emotionless brat?

Don't even tell me to shut up or stop being negatively without even trying to understand where I'm coming from

What's so hard about having people in my life that cares ? Meh. Never mind . Not worth asking. I will always be known for bugging and irritating people

Right. I wasted time posting this. Who would read this anyway? Nobody. This is not to seek any attention btw but assume whatever you want to assume

Idk what to say

Hey, I've read your post so it wasn't a waste of time. Nobody will tell you to stop being negative or judge you.

[tz90]

I didn't get any sleep last night, thoughts and troubles kept me awake. There's still a lot of work to do, but too tired to do anything now. Currently watching a charity event where people play old video games and collect money to prevent cancer. It's entertaining and brings back some childhood memories.

Guess I'm doing okay today. Still sore from jogging and feeling kind of sluggish. Nothing too exciting scheduled for the day, just going to the bank and to an AA meeting. At least I went to the library yesterday and got a book so I have something to read.

Update at 11:00 a.m: Now I'm sore all over, tired and lightheaded. I really hope I'm not coming down with the flu. Or it could be a fibromyalgia flare, although I haven't had one of those in a long time.

i'm feeling rather good today.

heard from laura, watched something good on tv and later having pizza.

Well now I'm hungry, haven't got pizza but do have cheese and bread. Health issues on my mind, otherwise have made progress with counselor on the phone. She was ready to admit me last week. Guess I just wasn't coherent enough, some bpd stuff coming out, but I don't like labels. I don't know if it is that, or life, that makes me the way I am.

Tired, yet want to do things. Part of me is still very depressed. Just want to shut everything out but my mind won't stop and let me.

Could keep repeating my life story, but what good does it do? Letting out our steam here does help, I guess that is what I'm doing. I just have to motivate myself to get a few things done. Realized it wouldn't take me long, it is just vacuuming and mopping that I can't do, it is too hard and then I'd be laying in my bed aching and not able to do much at all. It is too icy on the sidewalks. Got chewed out by my brother this morning, that I'm lazy and don't work. I fell and have joint problems, and maybe much worse.
He doesn't know anything about what I've done in life. I've done things he would never be able to do. I'm just so angry right now at my family. They don't know how much I worry about my dad. Any wrong doings are in the past, and he worries me. He never says anything directly, except for once a few years ago. He was as bad as he is now, or worse, and said he might be dying. He isn't stupid, or whiny, or complaining, he worked so hard his whole life. I don't want to lose him, but I'm not tough. I need to be, so I don't show my concern on the phone anymore. But I am, he has horses that I know I could look after if I just had a car to get there. Sometimes I hate myself for having not been financially better off, when my brother and sister both are doing extremely well. It's not for the material security or having things, its so that I could have something to give back. I do give, in my own way, I'm just so frustrated right now I could scream, except my walls are paper thin!

[H-H-H-H]

Nothing much different from samo days of yore.

[TheOriginalMe]

Work was OK, much quieter than I am used to. Mostly the people seemed nice, but I had to fend for myself with hot drinks, wherever I've worked in the past there has always been some sort of rota and communal fund. Other than that it was tiring but I knew it would be. The bottom line is that I'm not ready for full time hours.

My mood is still joyless, I want something nice to distract me but I'm not up to actually making anything nice happen.

[Espresso]

Today was a good day, I think.

Feeling pretty good right now because I started an 8-week beginner's program (to be able to run 30 minutes straight) today, and Day 1 was pretty easy. It was pretty cold outside but bearable wearing some of my husband's ice fishing arctic gear. Feeling more confident now that I'll be able to do the leg in the relay race I registered for.

Volunteering today at an AA bookstore type of place, and then have a therapist appointment.

[regretful]

Facing difficulties, even the smallest, is such a chore when depression is active. It's a terrible disease. Problems are exacerbated by this head-cold. Ugh...

spent most of the day in bed listening to a cathy glass audio book.

need to get up now though (partly because i'm hungry, and partly because the day's going to be gone soon)

[The_little_didgee]

This DISease is returning.

[tz90]

Stayed in all day and I can't bring myself to get anything done. Feeling pain the chest and I feel like crying, but I can't.

[8643]

I'm awake today after sleeping all day for 2 days :/

[Turtlesoup]

My head has been such a busy place the last few days-& had some bad nightmares. I'm pretty tired today but as we've been out doing some errands the last couple of days I have a lot of housework to do. Miss my daughter who visited for the holidays & my husband has shoulder surgery next week. I had to make myself get out of bed & wish I could crawl back under the covers. My stupid OCD crap has really been swirling around the last few days. Yesterday evening I was feeling very down & felt that familiar feel of depression tugging at me. I did some breathing meditation then sat quietly & looked around our living room-I looked at the photos of places I've been & artwork that I created & kept telling myself I will feel better again this will go away. It helped a bit-I'm trying to be mindful & replace negative thoughts with good ones but it's just so tiring to have this internal struggle going on most of the time. Sorry to ramble on-Big hugs to all who are struggling

[H-H-H-H]

[gayleggg]

I've been complaining a lot lately about being bored since I retired.

Well, today a friend that has her own quilting business needs help. Her daughter had been helping her but has decided she doesn't want to anymore, so she called me and ask me if I won't to take her place.

I wouldn't get rich but I love quilting and would love the chance to learn some more techniques. However, I worry about the pressure of having to be somewhere everyday. So, I have mixed feelings. She said we would try it out and see if I like it but I'm afraid I'll feel obligated and pressured.

I start at 9am tomorrow. I figure I will give it a shot. Just a little nervous about doing work for other people, but at least I won't be bored.

Thanks for listening.