Feeling okay today I guess. Just waiting to leave for ECT. Trying to stay calm, cool and collected for my job interview today at 2:30 CST. I really need it to go well.

Originally Posted by newgal2

Feeling okay today I guess. Just waiting to leave for ECT. Trying to stay calm, cool and collected for my job interview today at 2:30 CST. I really need it to go well.

Best wishes to you, sending some good thoughts and hugs ... umm just noticed there's a new one with different colour... what's up with that.. hope your interview goes well, but remember no matter what, job or not, you are worth it and you are doing what is right, it is a job just to get better and out of the depression

I'm ok, son is sick so will be a long day but well, just another day. Hopefully I get my things soon to get some work. HUG to all of you struggling here.

Originally Posted by disparaissant

Best wishes to you, sending some good thoughts and hugs ... umm just noticed there's a new one with different colour... what's up with that.. hope your interview goes well, but remember no matter what, job or not, you are worth it and you are doing what is right, it is a job just to get better and out of the depression

I'm ok, son is sick so will be a long day but well, just another day. Hopefully I get my things soon to get some work. HUG to all of you struggling here.

Thanks for your well wishes. What do you mean there's a new one with different colour?

This one, it's called sad hug

[Turtlesoup]

Wrote in my journal about some things triggered from the past that were super bad-really was in a funk so went for a great hike with my hubby & we met a nice guy I had a lot in common with-he's nerdy also, knows some latin, been to my home state-he also had a lot in common with my hubby-cool. The rest of the hike it got really windy as we were up above the bay & love the wind in my ears & listening to it in the eucalyptus trees-it truly quiets my brain-very soothing-maybe will look for some wind sound cds for home. Felt really good after hike it was like the wind & meeting a new potential friend really blew all that ptsd crap right away from me. Made us some awesome soup then had a quick chat with my Mom & daughter. Slept well & feel good-I also started going outside to sit in the sun when I read which my therapist suggested & that was nice too-think I will walk to library today & do some writing there just for a scenery change. Big hugs & positive thoughts to all here

[tigerlily84]

Made an appointment with the optometrist. My prescription is really old and I've been meaning to get a new pair of glasses for years. I'm also going to get a haircut. Haven't set an appointment for that yet, but I'm giving myself until the end of the week to call. I find that when I set deadlines for myself I tend to stick to them. Hopefully this forward momentum will last throughout the week.

[Rose76]

I have been doing really well. One thing I notice: If I start neglecting housework and the place becomes disheveled, it really depresses my mood. If I keep up with things, it helps me avoid going into a trough.

Also, my housing subsidy came through. I will pay 55% of the rent that I had been paying. That will be a big help to my budget.

[dandylin]

Stinky day. Husband is making physical progress and I am left with a big, dark hole. Depression is creeping in. I am so angry. I left my job and now I have nothing. No one seems to appreciate the sacrifices I have made to care for my family. It's as if the expectation is that I should be the one to halt my life and career

[TheOriginalMe]

I tried to get an early night last night, but I lay awake worrying. So tonight I'll spend a little time here catching up on posts, hopefully I'll relax a bit more.

[Nammu]

Not sure how I'm feeling. Kind of a delayed affect. I decided the weather was ok enough to get to my appointment with the Pnurse at my general docs office. I just check in with her every 6 to 8 weeks so they know how the psych stuff is going. The worse of the weather were the steps down from my apt, but they had put salt on them and by the time I returned the frist set was clear, the second set was mostly clear of ice.

Possible trigger:

In the course of the conversation she asked who abused me. I answered casually and added what he did to keep me from telling anyone. I always feel a bit defensive because I think people always wonder why I just didn't stay away since he was a neighbor. Her reaction was sort of a shock. She said she didn't know if she could have recovered from something like that. It's been so long since I've talked about this subject I forget how other people perceive it.

Anyway it stuck me anew that this is the reason I don't let people get close to me. I've often blamed my abusive marriage for the reason if people ask, and half tell me to get over it. I just don't talk about this. Now in some kind of a delayed reaction I'm terribly anxious.

[LindaLu]

Had a really good session with my T. She made a real effort to reach me. I can tell she is committed to helping.

[color14u]

Still treading water... read a Terry Pratchett book. That always cheers me up. You get pulled into a silly make believe world. I ended up reading the whole thing in one day. At least I did something today. I need to work tomorrow (kinda blew that off today).

Still feel a lot of anger and resentment. I swing from that to sadness and loneliness. It seems like an endless cycle. At least the book made me smile a few times. Hope everyone has a safe, peaceful night!

[LemonFresh]

Originally Posted by Rose76

I have been doing really well. One thing I notice: If I start neglecting housework and the place becomes disheveled, it really depresses my mood. If I keep up with things, it helps me avoid going into a trough.

I Can relate to that Sometimes my paranoid schizophrenia puts me in a dark mood especially when the voices are cruel so I get so depressed I don't clean up after myself and the house becomes a junk heap and when I come home to it, it makes me more depressed and just want to sleep and not look at it but then once I clean it, I feel so much better over all and I stop feeling like I am a disgusting pig for leaving my house in such shape. also Hi the name's Ginger, I have never posted in this forum before that I remember? but I may have.

[artichack]

Finally able to leave the house....bad ice storm...roads were impassible...hit the gym...felt really good....grocery store....back working on my garage...painting, cleaning....removing clutter....planning a short trip outside before spring and summer arrive...making dinner for my daughter and boyfriend tomorrow...feeling pretty good...............

[TheOriginalMe]

Originally Posted by LemonFresh

I Can relate to that Sometimes my paranoid schizophrenia puts me in a dark mood especially when the voices are cruel so I get so depressed I don't clean up after myself and the house becomes a junk heap and when I come home to it, it makes me more depressed and just want to sleep and not look at it but then once I clean it, I feel so much better over all and I stop feeling like I am a disgusting pig for leaving my house in such shape. also Hi the name's Ginger, I have never posted in this forum before that I remember? but I may have.

Hi Ginger nice to see you here.
I think a lot of us have housework issues.

[seeminglyreal]

really struggling today. thinking about seeking a therapist just to have someone to talk to. i'm so tired of being stuck in my own head all the time.

living off scholarship is harder than I thought. saving some money to see a doctor; I don't want my mom to pay anything for me anymore.

Originally Posted by TheOriginalMe

Hi Ginger nice to see you here.
I think a lot of us have housework issues.

I, too, feel so much better when the dishes are done and house is clean/picked up.

I was so happy that my interview yesterday went so well, but now I'm getting nervous about the possibility that I'll actually get the job! I haven't worked in about a year and, as you all know, have really been struggling with depression. Just not sure how I would handle all the stress. I guess one day at a time, one project at a time.

[dandylin]

Originally Posted by newgal2

I was so happy that my interview yesterday went so well, but now I'm getting nervous about the possibility that I'll actually get the job! I haven't worked in about a year and, as you all know, have really been struggling with depression. Just not sure how I would handle all the stress. I guess one day at a time, one project at a time.

I found working was such a good outlet for me. I recently had to quit my job and I am feeling pretty lost and useless without it. For some reason the stress of work is a much easier stress than the stress of family. For me, anyway

[dandylin]

Went to my primary doctor today. Was telling her about the resentment and depression I've been feeling over my husband's illness and it forcing me to quit my job. She suggested some additional meds but I shut her down. I now kind of wish I had listened to what she had to say

[Chummy]

I feel terrible. I hate myself so much. I can't do anything. I'm so tired all the time. I don't know if I'll ever be able to go back to school. I'm such a failure.

[Nammu]

Slept well, no dreams. I did take two of the sleeping meds(approved, I can take none, 1 or 2) what a difference an entire night of sleep made. Still think I'm fighting some kind of low grade infection, but no biggie at this time. Good day all around.

to everyone.

[Bark]

Doing okay. Got an exam coming up. I still have lots to study. Not panicking, though.

Mood is more stable. Thoughts come and go, but I ignore them for the most part.

For some reason I couldn't sleep last night until around 4 AM. Somehow I managed to stay awake until past midnight on 6.5 hours of sleep. Speaking of which, I should sleep now.

Oh, and I upped my med and started a multivitamin. I don't eat enough (and I've lost weight), so odds are I'm not getting enough vitamins and minerals. I'm trying to get into the habit of eating three meals (but I'll admit I'm trying to save money as well).

[TheOriginalMe]

I'm on a bit of a downer, probably lack of sleep catching up with me. I just don't foresee things ever getting better.

[Turtlesoup]

Got a lot done today even though I woke up a lot last night (drank some ginger ale after 10pm & oh how my bladder tormented me over that). Really enjoyed cooking today-made some spicy lentil dahl, garlic flatbread & rice-yum. Had some back pain flare up so have been keeping heat on it & rescheduled my gardening til tomorrow-it was really hard not to give in but the last thing I need is a bad pain flare. Going to do a little reading & maybe watch some movies tonight. Take care all