[tigersassy]

Originally Posted by avlady

i am drinking tension tamer tea, my husband got it at the grocery store and boy it really wotks, my depression from early this morning is stablized, did anyone ever hear of this tea before? i just wanted to see if anyone has. thanks.

Yep. I've been drinking it for about 6months. I love it. I think it smells good too.

Checking in again to say that I'm definitely feeling more depressed today. No reason that I can think of. I don't know what to do to shake it. I just have to push myself to do everything.

[lizzyjb]

A little breath today. Don't know why but just a little calm although I still have that awful work that I hate.

[unhappydaze]

Same old same old - exhaustion, feelings of hopelessness, etc. You all know the deal.

Here lately I can't even post on Facebook. Even browsing the feed is difficult. Everybody's doing GREAT! Hanging out with family and friends, smiling, laughing. I know that's a social media illusion, but that doesn't make it any less painful. Other people are living. I'm existing, sort of.

[unhappydaze]

Originally Posted by Smileonmyface

Sometimes I feel so guilty for my mental health issues.

oh yes.

[Chummy]

Sad. Lonely. Scared.

[dandylin]

Got a call from one of my prospective employers (actually I reapplied for my old job) and they want me back. Good news! It's sales and I rock the sales gig! Pretty psyched

[TheOriginalMe]

I am really tired, but my dog ate trash and now won't settle. I don't know which end it will come out of, usually both, I hope she's OK because I have work tomorrow and would like a few hours sleep at least.

I got referred to another clinic for my neck. I had to bully my doctor into doing this. He lectured me about taking more exercise, I know I should but when am I meant to fit it in? Anyway I realised I sold myself short on the exercise front. I walk for 2 hours a day. I spend 3 or 4 hours a week on cleaning (moving furniture, vacuuming, etc). I play ball with my dog for at least 2 hours a week. I garden. All of this is an upper body workout, just not in the gym.

My mood is still low and anxious, I can't shake this at all.

I guess I have this amazing ability, called being able to keep a straight face when your entire life has fallen apart and you contemplate suicide daily. The downfall of it is that it convinces people that nothing is wrong with me.

[waggiedog]

Hello and good day/evening etc.
I'm afraid I too am heading into that oh so familier feeling that goes with that horrible blackness, the one who's deep dear pit. That's the deep dark pit that has thick grease on it's walls so we can't climb out. Yup, that's I'm heading and there's not a darn thing I can do about it.

[winniepoohbears]

Hello I'm new I'm not doing to good today

Been doing pretty good today. But so much frustration! It builds and builds until I'm ready to explode. Please let my days ahead be as mellow. Enjoying this temporary relief. But I'm afraid of having too many 'good' days... When they wear off, I know the punishment that is my real life.

[tigerlily84]

I think I had a rather good day. I feel like things are starting to click (sort of) with the training that I am receiving. Sometimes I have a hard time expressing myself, which is frustrating, but today it was very easy, which was great. And I left work early to see my pdoc. Normally I have a hard time trying to explain how I'm feeling, but I was able to tell her exactly what is going on.

I have this.. lack of feeling. But it's not that robotic feeling like when you are on medication. I mean, I am on medication, but this is not the robotic thing. The only way I can explain it is that I have to make myself care about things that should come naturally to me, like enjoying a nice day for example. Everything is just... grey. Not hopeless, and not full of color. I am in no way complaining, because I've been on the hopeless side of the spectrum, so this is definitely an improvement. Maybe this is as good as it gets. If so, I can live with the grey. My pdoc suggested that I see a T, and recommended one in her practice. I told her it was okay for the T to give me a call. I'm willing to try, which I think says a lot. Maybe this is what I need to get some color back. Hope everyone is doing well.

[unhappydaze]

Originally Posted by winniepoohbears

Hello I'm new I'm not doing to good today

Welcome, winnie. Same description applies to me. I hope tomorrow is kinder to you, even if only a tiny bit.

[boomerango]

Training for a new job. Today I am having hard time forgiving myself for a learning mistake. A therapist once suggested that I call it success when I don't need to berate myself for as long as the last time. I hope it will be only a day or 2 this time? It's not easy being green.

[bubbles00]

needless to say i want to crawl to corner and sit under a big box

....I kinda just want to be alone :/

I'm feeling better today, thank God. This morning I'm going jogging, then returning the loaner car since our car has been fixed, volunteering at the AA admin office, then therapy appointment. I just wish this darn headache/neckache/shoulderache would go away. The meds my neurologist gave me don't really help.

[boomerango]

2 arthritic fingers holding onto the edge here.

Possible trigger:

I want to die. It's just that simple.

[herethennow]

you know.. i realised once i learnt what is empathetic response (sch+volunteer work taught me that) it doesn't work on me anymore. i hated it to begin with anyway.

anyway, htn here looks like htn is having fun everyday.
in reality...
i just want to drop everything and just. run. away.

Possible trigger:

when will this pain end. when will i stop thinking that this pain will end only if i disappear from this earth? cease existing... cease the pain. pdoc keeps asking reason why and i just want to punch his face everytime he does. i don't understand this.
i guess i shall just ignore what T says and continue si as my coping method -- i am in no way able to handle "alternative coping methods."

what does pdoc understand abt me anyway
pdoc went to the most elitist school in this country - the school for smartie pants. and thereafter went to the most elitist medical school in this country that is also for really smart people.
what does he understand about struggles... that a stupid person makes, right?

god pdoc is giving me a lot of transference.
*sigh*

[Apathy123]

I actually laughed today during lunch. My coworker spilled yogurt all over herself and the car seat. It was so funny.

[Nammu]

I'm so tired today. I woke up countless times last night and would then go back into the same disturbing dream. Actually I'm more exhausted than tired. Still I went to the Step Up, Scale Down class this morning. I'm proud of myself for that. Yay me! When the case worker leaves today I'm going back to bed for a nap.

Wishing relief for everyone here struggling with the persistant depression. x10

[Fuzzybear]

Sorry for posting twice, but

Possible trigger:

I'm writing out the pros and cons of chosen method. No, I do not want to get "help". It didn't help me in the past, that's why I'm here. The people who say to go see a therapist only make me want to die more. So don't say ths please, it will greatly trigger me.

[Fuzzybear]

I understand... (selfishly I hope you stick around.. )

Originally Posted by ShyPoetGirl

Sorry for posting twice, but

Possible trigger:

I'm writing out the pros and cons of chosen method. No, I do not want to get "help". It didn't help me in the past, that's why I'm here. The people who say to go see a therapist only make me want to die more. So don't say ths please, it will greatly trigger me.