no one to talk to

i have no one to talk to and i need to vent. i'm sure there are others out there who feel as i do...and yet putting it all down makes it seem so real. i'm miserable and no one knows, not even my husband. we don't talk at all. we love each other very much but we just don't communicate. he's such a happy peaceful person and i don't want to drag him down or burden him. i hate my life. i do nothing but take care of our 2 kids and do housework. we barely have any money. the kids are demanding. i feel like an invisible person. i don't feel like anything i want or need matters to anyone. i don't have any freedom. i have been depressed my whole adult life and i'm sick of it.

Hi Jbeach, welcome to PC.

Feel free to vent here anytime you want. I find it very helpful. Do you see a therapist or anything? I know you said money is tight, but if you don't have insurance there are often places that go on a sliding scale fee, if it's something you would be interested in.

As for your husband, have you ever tried talking to him? I often feel like I'm burdening my friends, and they say that I'm not. I don't know if I believe them sometimes because they barely reply, but then they say they just feel sad and don't know what to say/do to help me. Maybe your husband would at least be there to listen and try his best if you do speak to him.

Hi J,
I know how hard it is to communicate to the ones you love because I have done it my entire life. I can tell you this, I am learning to communicate better and it has made my current relationship stronger. My fiance is so at peace with himself and has so much confidence in himself. When I tell him how I'm feeling, he gives his insight and overall, it really does help.
You are not a burden. Your kids and your husband need you and they love you even though it might not be apparent at times.
I go to therapy but honestly, I come to these forums and read other peoples stories and it makes me feel better to know I'm not the only one that has the types of feelings I have. I find this place an excellent source of support!
You have my support through your difficult time! Take care!

Welcome...I don't have anything to add to the previous posts at this time; however, I wanted to let you know that I read your post...and let you know that we care...so when your ready maybe we can talk more specifically...

jbeach--

I am here and I am listening. I know those feeling all to well. I am glad you are here. I know in my heart that this is a good place and you will find alot of support and caring here. I am glad you can let go of your feelings, that is important. ALthough I am just beginning to be able to do that, it is a good thing. Please keep reaching and know there are othes reaching right back. Take care of yourself. I am here.

purplesecrets

you're never alone. you always have us here in the net (psych central, respectfully). i'm sure your hubby is wondering about you and is hoping that you tell what's going on with you. a relationship cannot survive without the communication. i hope your hubby would be understanding about your depression. i've told my hubby since we began dating about my depression. and when my medication quit working on me a year and a half ago, my hubby went online and educated himself further about what depression can do to a person. and, he's been very understanding. i'm not saying that communication cures all in a relationship, i'm just saying that since he knows what's going on and has educated himself about my illness, he's been amazing. it can't be easy for him, but we have so much love for each other that he's willing to do whatever it takes to help me get better. i don't hold many secrets from him, either, and that helps me a lot. i hope i'm making sense.

Welcome to Psych Central jbeach!

Please know that you are not alone with how you feel. Many of us here understand the struggle.

I hope you will consider looking for a therapist to help you cope with how you feel, someone who you can talk to in confidence. We are here for you too, here for each other at PC.

Looking forward to hearing from you again.

Take care.

Three years ago, my fiance died of an overdose and five days later my best friend died of cancer. I was forced to move back to Mo. after living 30 yrs. in Ga. I have one high school friend. I don't talk to her about my illnesses. I am keeping that only friendship I have left illness free. She knows, but I don't burden her when I feel bad. Luckily or unluckily she lives about 45 mins away so I can act cheerful when we speak on the phone as we do most mornings. I can't find a therapist that takes medicaid for adults so I truly have nobody to talk to either. Glad I stumbled across this place. Thanks for listening.

Ubek.. I'm sorry you are dealing with so much too, even if some of it was three years ago.. those are very difficult things to deal with. I hope you keep talking to us, too. We are here. I hope you and jbeach and everyone else are doing well.