Everywhere I go I'm hated

I'm tired of fighting the invisible force. I'm just tired. There is nothing I can do to change how the world treats me and I want out. People don't like me, never have, never will. From teachers to kids to bosses.

I can't make enough money to afford rent. Relationships I attract reik havoc in my life. I have tried anything within my power and bad rains down on me constantly. My hope for a brighter future is gone now that my credit is gone and the education I wasted money on hasn't help me improve financially. I'm in debt with the government student loans, back taxes because of con, social security because I've tried to better myself. It's pointless, worthless, no one cares. I've even paid hundreds on psychics for spiritual help. There is no hope for me.

I'm becoming an angry bitter person. If something doesn't change for the better soon I really don't know what I'll do. I feel like a ticking bomb. The suicide I have fought so hard against is becoming eminent. I guess my soul is doomed. I can't fight it anymore.

Aviza, you are in a webb of confusion. It sounds like you are self projecting the negativity of others about you back onto yourself. You must work on seeing yourself as a person of value. If you have tried psychics and that failed then what about a spiritual counselor? They are out there. There is always good vs. evil in the world going on constantly in the spirit realm or other dimensions. Sometimes those spirits for whatever reasons pull on us in different directions and try to influence how we feel about ourselves. I choose to believe that you and I are of great value, we have the ability to heal, create, grow and well as destroy. The choices are ours. I recommend not giving up because you are of great value. Find a spiritual counselor who will listen to you and give you some wonderful self affirmations that you can read and dwell on to show that you are not about what you do or own, you are about you the one inside. i hope this helps. blessings and tc

Consider the Evidence you ARE worthwhile and build up from there.

I really like the suggestion from omegalamed about finding somekind of spiritual life coach.

There are ways in the meantime to work on and challenge negative core beliefs; several modes of therapy including CBT. Perhaps a book might be a good start or else - seeing as you have an interest in spirituality - a guided journalling study.

We care.

Aviza. You need some time for YOURSELF! I know it's easy to say but our experience of reality is in our minds, and regardless of the situation we need to empower our minds (and our bodies, mind's home).

Our perspective about how others perceive us are biased by our untamed feeling and emotions. While tackling mind weakness wih mental techniques is quite complex, it's known that body workout can improve the terrain to achieve mental changes.

So some questions:

Are you practicing sports?

Do you meditate or practice yoga?

Do you listen to music? What kind?

Best regards!

All that matters is that you love yourself.

In the military we have a 40% rule: When you feel that you can't go on, that your tank is empty, the reality is at that point you've used 40%.

I am sorry to hear of such an awful situation that you are in. I pray that things get better for you. Sometimes life can be a real ***** and that's NO ONE'S FAULT. It is my belief that those who experience the most hardships are bound for great spiritual growth and strength because it is mainly in the times that we' fall short that we learn the most. Remember you are a strong and beautiful person, I can see this in you even when I have never met nor have I spoken to you in my life. Just know that when people hate you it is not your problem (God knows it absolutely doesn't make life any easier) and even though it hurts there's no need to take it personally - they are facing problems within their self and for whatever reason you are that reflection they need to confront it. We only react to what we see in others that we dont like in ourselves. Please believe that in terms of relationships, I know exactly what you're going through. I have never had an easy time making friends and I've always felt inferior to others. My romantic relationships weren't any better either. I'm coming to accept that I'm different - that I'm not the only one who's struggled with finding that sense of family\belonging and that for some of us it allows us to better appreciate when the right people come along . They will come to you if you invite them. Ask the Universe for what you want and you shall get it. Ask. Believe. Receive. For your own sake seek help for the negative way you perceive yourself because I can see yoiu might be inviting it on yourself. You are loved and God bless. <3

Re: Everywhere I go I'm hated

Apparently not here. Not judging from the responses.

Aviza, I hear you clearly. I can tell by your post that you are a very kind hearted loving person. Sometimes there are people in this world that see that in us and unknowingly use our kindness to their advantage. When we get hurt from their acts and we stand up to them then the hatred from them comes out, the blame to you from them, the hurtful words, perhaps even lies to friends and family so they receive support and you look bad in the other's person eye. These things these people do are not about you, it is a reflection of who they are and what you see is what they are capable of. I have run into this my whole life. My counselor told me it is my compassion for others that has got me into trouble in relationships. We have think know how good we are in our hearts and not let others make us doubt our thought process. You have to tell yourself you are a good person and you do not deserve this kind of treatment. You have to place boundaries with these people and in many cases, let these people go, disconnect from those who treat you poorly, even if that means family.

Hey Aviza.

As we go through life...we collect ideas that become our personal truths…more often than not these truths were taught to us by our family. Some of these truths we discard along the way...However, there are other personal truths that we tend to cling to, even if they are detrimental to us.

Several years ago...I took a long hard look at my list of personal beliefs...some were benificial to me, but most were toxic, outdated or downright ridiculous, including worrying about what others thought of me.
I now know that 99.9% of people care little about what I think or what I do...They care more about their own lives. We can't wait for others to validate, laud or honour us...we must do that for ourselves. I will never allow myself to concede defeat and give up...and I can’t allow myself to wish it.

I strive to be social when it is called for...but apart from that I endeavour to spend my time on worthwhile pursuits that don't need others approval. Life is hard…… but we must work toward finding little chunks of joy.

I dearly hope you find your joy soon Aviza.

I'm so sorry. I feel similarly. I was abused and neglected, treated horribly as a child, and that set the pattern for school, work, everything. I have people, even strangers, attack me right and left wherever I go, including online. They're abusive types, obviously - like sharks that smell blood, and immediately zero in.

What I'm trying today is to check out a couple of churches. The only thing that helps me is prayer and Bible reading. Also, churches often have free counseling. Have you tried anything like this? I've been suicidal lately (again), so I just pray it "works" today. I really need to find an anchor, a lifeline. Something that won't let me slide down that steep slope, because I'm very close to the edge.

Are you allergic to all meds? Schizoaffective seems be a serious diagnosis. Does it affect your outlook?

work on yourself and don't build your confidence or self esteem on the opinions of others, opinions are like assholes, everyones got em, learn to ignore them and focus and drive yourself to be a better faster stronger person either mentally or physically, the discipline and training of the mind will get easier or at least become a habit that make your self worth easier to keep healthy and high.

Thanks all. How do you figure out what your personal beliefs are? I would like to pinpoint those and cleanse that part of myself.

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