Crazy Thoughts

I have anxiety and depression and I keep having these thoughts that everyone is against me or that no one wants me around anymore. I don't know how to deal with this. Help?

Hello sadkoala47: The Skeezyks isn't really of much help when it comes to offering helpful suggestions. He tends to have the reverse of the problem you describe. It's not so much that he thinks everyone is against him & doesn't want him around... it's more that he's against everyone else & doesn't want to be around any of them...

Of course the obvious suggestion here would be individual therapy or perhaps a support group. I presume you're aware of these options & perhaps even already engaged in them. I don't know anything about your day-to-day life, of course. But would it be possible for you to become involved in doing some volunteer work of some sort? Helping others is typically seen as a great way to feel better about yourself. Perhaps it could help you to begin to feel more valued... just a thought.

cognitive behavioral therapy...
can help you change those kind of thoughts...
takes a little work... but its worth it...

I don't think that you've ever been one of the victims of my attacks, and I don't intend for you to be, but... I feel the need to throw out a red flag when I see overly simplistic answers for problems that are likely far, far more complex than: Buddhism. CBT. Etc.

I know that CBT as a cure for everything really rankles me because it's been sold to me in a lot of different flavours for 30 years and I've put so much more than a little work into it – I've put years of work into it – but I've never been able to get to the CBT happy place. Time and again I've blamed myself for being unable to become a True Believer. I've tortured myself, thinking that I must be the most abnormal of the abnormal in my inability to be cured in 16 hours of therapy + homework.

I'm sure that you're aware that Beck's audience was originally depressives but even it's efficacy for depression has been in decline for over 40 years and I don't recall who said it but someone who was an ex-CBT practitioner said that, for MDD, CBT confuses the symptoms of the problem with the causes.

While CBT may have been a cure-all for you, and for others, it wasn't for me or for others. I guess that it's fine to give advice here but could I ask that you, and others, consider couching your advice in a more personal, rather than declarative style? Something such as "CBT worked for me," with an example of how it helped you?

I think that type of approach may be more beneficial to those who come here seeking advice; to realise that there are options in mental health treatment.

I hope that you won't take this observation and suggestion as a personal attack. Lord knows I've had warnings about that!

I've anxiety and depression, too. Paranoia, and not being to tell what's real or what I may incorrectly perceiving to be real, is something that I've been having problems with again, too.

You're still with us, though, and it's great that you're able to call those thoughts "crazy." That's not a politically correct word, of course, but it's certainly how it feels! It's wonderful to be questioning those thoughts.

You're also aware that you need some help in learning how to curb these thoughts. I've been under psychiatric care so long that it would be easy for me to just suggest "see a shrink." For various reasons, that may not be the easiest thing for people to do.

Have you ever been under mental health care? Do you know where to go if you needed care? I would think that the first step towards dealing with these thoughts is to find someone in the mental health field, even a county social worker, just to talk with. Or if someone has helped you with your depression and anxiety, let them know about the paranoid feelings.

The most important thing, at the moment, is letting others in. Sometimes that means some initial work before you actually get any help.

One thing that I think every therapist has told me that I should ask myself when I'm in the midst of a crisis (a couple of times a day recently) is: what's the worst that could happen?

That's the stupidest thing that could possibly come to mind when I'm having a deathly panic attack or a crazy episode (most of my waking hours). The worst that could happen is that I could go crazy again or die; neither is too appealing to me.

If you're in the U.S., you have resources. City, county or state. Private. Find those resources or take advantage of those that you may know of.

God knows, it feels like hell. I hope that it can get better for you.

i didnt intend to have an overly simplistic post... im just really drained...
i try to consider a placebo effect for some works... sometimes sharing things with someone can help some move on... cbt might be better for anxiety than depression i think... but i dunno, i cant remember any of my sessions...
so clearly it didnt help me.. but i fight myself alot...
but i have no choice but to do some kind of therapy because of the type of issues...
i just think that therapy might be better to try first before trying loads of medications...
i have ALOT of "crazy" thoughts too... actually i have full blown arguements with myself... i dunno, i have a lot of internal conflict... i didnt mean to sound like therapy will cure things... or that it will make the thoughts simply stop...
thoughts, intrusive thoughts, are hard to get power over... i apologize...
my condition is just making it hard for doctors to properly treat me... apparently they are having a problem figuring me out... i guess im just complicated

i tend to undermine alot of things when talking... i didnt mean a little work as in a little... just that it will take dedication...
i need to stop posting for a while... im of no use like this...
i dont consider your response an attack... i clearly was vague...
nothing has worked for me....

keep fighting to get well...
much love..

I'm sorry if I seemed to have attacked you. I didn't mean anything personal. I'm in a crying jag now.

Nothing has worked for me, either. Don't think that you should stop posting, though. Just coming here and being with other screwed up people brings me a level of comfort, sick as that may sound. I get far more comfort when you write "nothing has worked for me" because it makes me feel less alone.

And I have exactly the same feeling about my just-fired mental health team: I did my best to tell them what was going on but they didn't understand; I felt like either I wasn't making myself understood or that they didn't want to understand. Or maybe because I'm so all over the place that I don't fit in any one billing code completely and too much in others.

In 10 days I go to see my new psychiatrist. I'm placing too much hope in her, I know. There must be something better. 20+ pdocs refused to continue to treat me psych meds if I continued treatment for chronic pain. I'm still having problems understanding that. It makes me want to take a red-hot branding iron and put it to their face and ask if they'd like an aspirin.

I'm losing it again. Got to go.

no its ok, you didnt say anything wrong
but it is that i have been thinking a lot to myself that i really shouldnt post because i am really messed up right now... its just if i ever actually help someone just a little its like the only pleasure i am allowed to feel if that makes sense...
i've messed my mind up... and its increasingly more difficult to focus.. but i dont have a doctor right now either because no insurance or money and pretty much told off the community clinic ... i wasnt rude and they said i could come back if i wanted but i dont think they can help me anyway... i need special help... i do wish i had some kind of medicine to stop the madness a little though... im feeling too much.. not too much.. too different... but its not too different in that sense... im conflicted.. and what i feel should not be possible but it is happening.. and i feel like my mind is tearing me apart from the inside
feel too many ways at once... i cant think well enough to describe it, i think i've gone insane...
but all is well that ends well.. as long as i remain in control... and dont make a complete fool of myself...im hoping to have a doctor before the end of the year... but i cant think ahead because i dont know how im going to survive it..
and now im writing too much in someone elses thread, i just wish everyone could be happy
there has to be a light - i hope...

Elevated although we do need to be careful about what we post I think that when you are "really messed up" is the most important time to post whether it is a new thread or trying to be helpful to others.

As an outsider to this thread I saw nothing in either post that wasn't both with good intent, respectful, and helpful. I hope everyone will keep posting.

And good luck to you Sad Koala.

Absolutely. I think that the reason that I come here daily, now, is precisely because I am so very "really messed up."

And there are times when I feel as if I don't write something, I'll explode.

Thanks, dexter,

I have to REALLY REALLY REALLY fight those thoughts. It's hard as hell. Sometimes I manage to shout them down. Sometimes not.

But yeah. I get those feelings, too.

Koala - sometimes we can fake till we make it. That is, imagine how it would be for you if everyone wanted you around. Then, go about your day interacting with people projecting that outwardly. Even when the self talk says otherwise, keep projecting that outwardly. Often, people respond unconsciously to other people's nearly imperceptible cues . . . if you are projecting positivity, you might find others responding likewise. Just a thought.