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  #126  
Old Jul 03, 2016, 07:01 AM
Anonymous44144
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Originally Posted by little turtle View Post
I cant believe what a depression can do to you...how it can take you down so far...so quick...I was in private practice of psychiatry with tremendous responsibility ...and then the very next day unable to function or take any responsibility...very dramatic

it is like cutting off your legs and then telling yourself to walk...even worse because we just don't understand what is going on up there in that brain...
I am going thru this situation myself and it's unacceptable to me how I am losing myself in this depression every day.
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  #127  
Old Jul 03, 2016, 10:19 AM
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Originally Posted by elevatedsoul View Post
the mind and its many facets are truly fascinating...

even through the misery i can appreciate the brilliance of it and the enormous amount of power the mind generates..

we can be blissfully happy, while on our death bed dieing in agony...
we can be totally oblivious to pain and misery surrounding us through out the day, seeing the good things and acknowledging the positive..
we can be in total agony and feel such pain while being the healthiest person on the planet (physically)
we can walk through the day seeing only pain and suffering even when walking through the most beautiful blissful environment

our experience seems to be subjective... but who is the subject?
what constitutes a normal healthy happy experience?
what IS happy?

contemplating this one would think we could mould our perception into a pleasant experience for ourselves..

but we can only do so much consciously..? so we have to wonder what is the subconscious..
these must be our programs that we are taught.. the world has implanted in us from a young age..
and if so much is controlled by the subconscious, and they have implanted these programs to manipulate our subjective experiences.. why?
instead of instilling within us pleasant things?

can the subconscious constantly be changed? or is it something that is formed and solidified at a certain point forming what we will experience in life to come..?
is the subconscious even part of us? or within the mind? how many levels of consciousness is there? are we on some levels connected through a form of consciousness and that why our subjective experience seems to be influenced so much by something outside?

people should become more interested in the mind.. and less interested in the physical aspects of what we seem to think we understand when it is all a perception of what we create within.. each persons experience is different, so how can we objectify things and say "this is what this is" when the next person may see it completely different but totally agree because he thinks the other see's the same thing as he?

we have no idea what LIFE is
but we are thrown into the violent stream of things every day to try to survive and convince ourselves that we do...

i for one dont understand.. and am not sure why i can't control my perception or the subjective experience that i create within...
but maybe others don't have such violent storms raging within either..

they say curiosity killed the cat, but did the cat discover something that they didnt want him to know and they killed him instead?
preserve the illusion, dont free the people, keep us all chained to our own mental prison and let us believe we are free... people have become happy with this..
and maybe even afraid to take the chains off... because they dont want to be curiosity, the dead cat...

i apologize, i hope that i dont offend anyone - i am just arguing with myself..
much love... explore the mind...

confessions of little turtle

confessions of little turtle

confessions of little turtle
That is so beautifully written. You understand signal detection quite well...why we have subjective experiences.
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  #128  
Old Jul 03, 2016, 02:02 PM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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Allergic to seroquel ....

Rash and swelling round the eyes

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  #129  
Old Jul 04, 2016, 11:50 AM
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Allergic to seroquel ....

Rash and swelling round the eyes

I feel sorry for you Fuzzy
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  #130  
Old Jul 05, 2016, 04:59 AM
Anonymous49071
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Originally Posted by little turtle View Post
brazenapogee---
psychiatry ----medical school and psychiatric training---m.d.
psychology----undergraduate and graduate study---phd

I had very little psychology in my training...I learned very little about my own problems...
I think the dog is buried here. When emotional problems are made into medical terms, they will be treated as such. The human aspect will be missing. All psychiatrists should have to go through a personal therapy either they feel they need it or not. They have to feel how it is to be the "one down" in that particular relationship to be able to stay with their patients later on.
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  #131  
Old Jul 05, 2016, 05:04 AM
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it was good and bad
Therapy, done by a psychiatrist or a psychologist, can be both good and bad. It's not black and withe. Much have become better and much have to be improved ...
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  #132  
Old Jul 05, 2016, 05:07 AM
Anonymous49071
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this may sound strange but i am proud that i have a mental illness and have survived this long....i didn't kill myself and i did do some good things after breaking down....
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  #133  
Old Jul 05, 2016, 05:22 AM
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Originally Posted by little turtle View Post
I want to be stripped of my medical degree...
I want to be stripped of my psychiatrist training..
I want to come down and be with my people..
my people are all of us with mental illness...
we didn't ask for this....we didn't cause it...
I no longer want to teach...I no longer want to be doctor..
I will share information....I know some things...
one thing I know is to have a mental illness is terrible/awful...
I have had many other physical problems and have gotten support..
but I have not been supported with my mental illness...
it is a silent killer....I am going to be speaking up about my illness..
I hope others here will speak up also....you can tell your story here if you want
I will not shut up about the truth of mental illness...and all the abuses that we have had
(((((((((little turtle))))))))), please stop degrading yourself! Well, you didn't make it to the top. You are not famous. That doesn't matter! I'm sure that even if you didn't like the system you worked in, you probably helped some. To know that should be your reward in old age. To want to strip yourself from degrees you have earned and experience you have had ...

Nobody is perfect, neither are the psychiatrist or other health personal, neither are you! You are OK the way you are, can't you please accept that!!!
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  #134  
Old Jul 05, 2016, 05:32 AM
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WE NEED TO START TAKING OVER OUR OWN HELP AND SUPPORT....
I don't think that is realistic!

WRAP: Another approach:

Wellness Recovery Action Plan - Mary Ellen Copeland
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  #135  
Old Jul 05, 2016, 05:41 AM
little turtle little turtle is offline
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Originally Posted by Singer47 View Post
(((((((((little turtle))))))))), please stop degrading yourself! Well, you didn't make it to the top. You are not famous. That doesn't matter! I'm sure that even if you didn't like the system you worked in, you probably helped some. To know that should be your reward in old age. To want to strip yourself from degrees you have earned and experience you have had ...

Nobody is perfect, neither are the psychiatrist or other health personal, neither are you! You are OK the way you are, can't you please accept that!!!
singer47....thank you very much....you are right but I have more to say...
I think the health care system in the united states sucks...
I think psychiatry in the united states sucks...it is abusive...
I am ashamed that I have not spoken up about the abuses in psychiatry..
so I am not ok right now...but I am still alive...and I am going to speak up here...I am not finished yet....I don't want to go out with my rewards in old age...I want to help younger people....that is why I have posted on PREVENT DEPRESSION...but thanks singer47...you are kind to me...
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  #136  
Old Jul 05, 2016, 05:42 AM
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so now I am coming closer to the end....I will be 85 yo in august...what a struggle with my mental illness...it wasn't pretty....but I have had a much better time since my last breakdown in 1973-77 than I ever thought possible...at that time I thought it was over...I wanted to die...it has been hard but I DO NOT WANT to die now...even tho the world is a mess and I am a mess I still want to live...I must have some hope...life is something else
Stick to your hope!
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  #137  
Old Jul 05, 2016, 05:56 AM
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Originally Posted by little turtle View Post
I cant believe what a depression can do to you...how it can take you down so far...so quick...I was in private practice of psychiatry with tremendous responsibility ...and then the very next day unable to function or take any responsibility...very dramatic

it is like cutting off your legs and then telling yourself to walk...even worse because we just don't understand what is going on up there in that brain...
Depressions are for all, layers, police, doctors, bank employed, receptionests, truck-drivers, waites, ..... you name it.

It's OK that you had a MI. Yes, it it did hurt, but so it is for everyone who have MI. I'm sorry that you never got complete over it, but please make peace with yourself. You are OK the way you are!
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  #138  
Old Jul 05, 2016, 05:59 AM
little turtle little turtle is offline
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I have hope...but it is real...not false...I will speak out...not as a doctor but as a person who knows about the abuses that big psychiatry is now calling mental health...I have lived to tell the tale of corruption and abuse...I am going to go after the bad guys...
I have waited far too long...I have not been very brave...but I have been a good doctor...not a very good psychiatrist but I tried...
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  #139  
Old Jul 05, 2016, 06:01 AM
Anonymous49071
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here I am....almost 85 yo and I am terrified of dying....when I had a breakdown in 1973 I didn't want to live...what do you think of that....life is ????
Why? Some think it is the end (stop in everything for them), while others expect to find a life after death. I am with the last alternative. I'm not afaid to die! Please make peace with the alteernative you have chosen or that one you will chose!
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  #140  
Old Jul 05, 2016, 06:01 AM
little turtle little turtle is offline
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Originally Posted by Singer47 View Post
Depressions are for all, layers, police, doctors, bank employed, receptionests, truck-drivers, waites, ..... you name it.

It's OK that you had a MI. Yes, it it did hurt, but so it is for everyone who have MI. I'm sorry that you never got complete over it, but please make peace with yourself. You are OK the way you are!
I am not ok the way I am...I need to speak out...I will not shut up...I need to be more brave in the face of terrible mental and spiritual sickness in the united states...
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  #141  
Old Jul 05, 2016, 06:06 AM
little turtle little turtle is offline
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Originally Posted by Singer47 View Post
Why? Some think it is the end (stop in everything for them), while others expect to find a life after death. I am with the last alternative. I'm not afaid to die! Please make peace with the alteernative you have chosen or that one you will chose!
I don't want to make peace...I need to help younger people now with mental illness...and they need to know what is going on to be healthy...I am not going to any heaven...my heaven is right now...righting some of the wrongs..we need to start questioning....
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  #142  
Old Jul 05, 2016, 06:10 AM
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I have hope...but it is real...not false...I will speak out...not as a doctor but as a person who knows about the abuses that big psychiatry is now calling mental health...I have lived to tell the tale of corruption and abuse...I am going to go after the bad guys...
I have waited far too long...I have not been very brave...but I have been a good doctor...not a very good psychiatrist but I tried...
Turtle, inside the system there might work many decent and good people. They may not have accepted the system, but they have probably understood that outside the system there is no place for them. Please accept that what has happened has happened!

"There is a time for everything". I appreciate your will to change the system, but I think it has to be done naturally, when the system is ready. According to yourself you have been a good doctor. THAT IS ENOUGH!
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SkitsDoubt
  #143  
Old Jul 05, 2016, 06:17 AM
little turtle little turtle is offline
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Turtle, inside the system there might work many decent and good people. They may not have accepted the system, but they have probably understood that outside the system there is no place for them. Please accept that what has happened has happened!

"There is a time for everything". I appreciate your will to change the system, but I think it has to be done naturally, when the system is ready. According to yourself you have been a good doctor. THAT IS ENOUGH!
I have many good friends inside the system...they are good people in a very bad system....the system will never be ready...the time is now ....too much corruption....too much greed....too much arrogance...too much $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ being made off US .... AND OUR THERAPIES ARE NOT REACHING THE CAUSES OF MENTAL ILLNESS...
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  #144  
Old Jul 05, 2016, 06:21 AM
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I don't want to make peace...I need to help younger people now with mental illness...and they need to know what is going on to be healthy...I am not going to any heaven...my heaven is right now...righting some of the wrongs..we need to start questioning....
I meant to make peace with yourself that this has been your life and that that is OK. Give yourself some time to rest and enjoy your last years. A lot of things have happened in the Mental Health field the last years and more will happen. The young will benefit from that. The American Health-care is known to the rest of the world in using too much medication. I think that will change with time. America has to learn from other countries.

I hope you will be able to see that you have done your best inside the frames that became yours.
Thanks for this!
SkitsDoubt
  #145  
Old Jul 05, 2016, 06:28 AM
little turtle little turtle is offline
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Originally Posted by Singer47 View Post
I meant to make peace with yourself that this has been your life and that that is OK. Give yourself some time to rest and enjoy your last years. A lot of things have happened in the Mental Health field the last years and more will happen. The young will benefit from that. The American Health-care is known to the rest of the world in using too much medication. I think that will change with time. America has to learn from other countries.

I hope you will be able to see that you have done your best inside the frames that became yours.
I don't have much time left...my best is yet to come....with the help from fuzzy...I can no longer be a part of psychiatry.....psychiatry has a mental illness dsm $$$.99..............I am still a medical doctor inside a very compromised health care system....

singer47 you have been very kind...thanks
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  #146  
Old Jul 05, 2016, 05:42 PM
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BrazenApogee BrazenApogee is offline
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I wish I could help you Little Turtle, I can barely help myself at this point. (((hugz)))
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  #147  
Old Jul 06, 2016, 05:39 AM
little turtle little turtle is offline
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I wish I could help you Little Turtle, I can barely help myself at this point. (((hugz)))
thanks brazenapogee....can I be helpful for you
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  #148  
Old Jul 06, 2016, 10:01 AM
little turtle little turtle is offline
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I have found life to be extremely hard...
I have seen extreme suffering around me...
I still want to live...why...I just don't know..
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  #149  
Old Jul 07, 2016, 11:30 AM
little turtle little turtle is offline
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I have found life to be extremely hard...
I have seen extreme suffering around me...
I still want to live...why...I just don't know..
the hardest things now... are the harm that I have caused others....and the harm that I did to myself...that just doesn't go away by some magic trick
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  #150  
Old Jul 07, 2016, 01:05 PM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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(((((((( little turtle ))))))))

The "bad" doctors don't even care about the harm they and the "System" do..

They "rationalise" it and say "we are justified" ..... they are SICK

( we only **** when we are justified ) What did they teach these twits in medical school?

We only crap all over you when we are justified (Bad Doctor IRL)

Oops

You're a good person, thank you for being so honest

Quote:
Originally Posted by little turtle View Post
the hardest things now... are the harm that I have caused others....and the harm that I did to myself...that just doesn't go away by some magic trick
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