confessions of little turtle

what a sweet lady...wanting to help others...go for it ...start now ...what kind of therapist do you want to be...live for you also...don't give up on you

I do really want to help others. I used to work with the elderly but was disgusted by how they treated them. Couldn't handle it.

I want to help people like me. I want to help the young people that are feeling lost. Older people that have given up... Idk. I want to help but can't help myself...

Working on my associates for 8 years now... Ugh...
Close to being done but doing worse than ever.

It's been so hard for me. I'm weak. I can't handle " normal" life.

I hope you can start recovering soon...what are your biggest problems now..
I have a lot of problems with normal life...I don't want to live there....it may besick

It does get better. Particularly if you work on coping skill designed for trauma victims.

Have you looked into peer support jobs? In some states they are paid positions, you have some training to do, but often there are resorces to help pay the costs. If your state is not one that pays for it the volunteer position can help you with on the job training that can be added too the degree you are working towards. Some of the best doctors and health care providers are those who have been there, like little turtle.

Ive never heard of that i will ask my counselor about it.
Thank you

It's hard to imagine that it will get better. When it did it always got worse again..

This has been my experience too

I'm loosing hope. Dbt groups and therapy with over 5 therapists throughout the last 15 years has made me loose hope. Not to mention the constant cocktail of meds.

Right now depression is the worst. Anxiety is also an issue. Just cant cope well with anything.

I find both comfort and heartache in knowing I'm not the only one..

I almost fear the ups because going down seems harder every time. Like staying down is "easier " then falling down.

I'm sorry you go through this

Are you in the uk too

Either way, I empathise

Im not. In the US..

I did guess that, bc of the amount of therapy you've had. Don't give up

In the uk they usually give up on people FAR TOO SOON

Only the "strong" survive at all. It's very sad

That's terrible.
I'm trying to hang in there.

I think it takes so much strength to go and get help in the first place!

Thanks for the validation, sadly this is The Truth

I was told as a doctor---------DO NO HARM.....doctors need to pay attention to that one..

I know...... I wish the same

doctors are throwing drugs at everything without thinking about the good and bad both....please be very careful...and I am being very SUPPORTIVE of everyone here....I don't want to see any of you harmed by any doctor..please be careful about the drugs you take...to me this is supportive to tell people how to save their own minds and bodies....read up on these drugs and know what you are taking and what the risk/benefit ratio is...and what are the alternatives....

I am now confessing that I do not like being told that one of my threads is not supportive...are we to be just told to shut up and be quiet and take our drugs and not complain...is that what support means....I don't think so...I think that is SICK...WE NEED TO HELP EACH OTHER...not just support that we are sick and cannot recover without the help of doctors and drugs...

DO NO HARM

From my personal experience I agree with you..

I could well have been one of the "unlucky" ones and the side effects I experienced are probably rare...

But for sure they are not "in my mind"

I have never experienced you being anything but supportive ... Not everyone can take or tolerate drugs, I'm living proof of that . I wish it wasn't so, and that I at least had the option of taking meds without my body screaming at me, no

Im not an expert but some people do "need" meds....and there is no shame in that, and probably most people are helped more than not...

For me personally I wish I had never taken them... But as we know everyone is different

we are not a DSM5 diagnosis...we are human beings

I was one of the two most injured plaintiffs in that case, do not be fooled by that number, the lawyers were on the take and so was the judge, when the judge was assigned the case his first public statement was " I don't care who was injured how , no one is going to drive a pharmaceutical company this large bankrupt or out of business"

The final settlement played the weak against the strong, injuries were ranked on a scale from 0-9, 9 being death 0 being a small reaction to the drug.

Lilly agreed to settle only if 80 % or more plaintiffs agreed to the settlement, so all the people who did not have a severe injury or injuries agreed to settle for the entire group, those of us with a real case didn't have a chance, if the weak cases had not of settled Lilly was going to fight every last case and the corrupt lawyers told plaintiffs take the payout it's guaranteed free money, you will probably end with nothing if you fight. So all the weaker cases of mild injury sealed the fate of those of us who would have taken them down, there were boards like this at the time of just us plaintiffs, I don't know of a single person who took precautions as I suggested them other than myself.

The lawyers were quick with the paperwork overnight presided by them and we would have to sign and return overnight, they were so quick that they failed to notice that on every page there was a non disclosure agreement and a release of liability and harm for all the lawyers the company and judge, I am the last of the plaintiffs with an active claim because I color scared the originals and have them put away the forms returned to them were modified with the word "not" added everywhere it said " I do hold harmless the company, the attorneys etc" insert "not" after "do" changes the entire meaning of every document, nobody noticed that was done , I will get my pound of flesh someday, they never apologized or took responsibility for the whole cover up, the people who really got a little justice where the eight whistle blowers from Lilly who supplied the internal documents showing that from day one of playing with the chemical that became the drug, Lilly new it caused diabetes, heart attacks and death- they all got golden parachutes out of the company and 8 million dollars cash each as a starting point, we'll those of us who bled and died got nothing , just so they could be the first atypical anti psychotic approved by the FDA, Lilly intentionally failed to report the actual side effects of the drug because they new the FDA would not allow it on the market otherwise, now of course everyone knows to expect "Metabolic syndrome" from all of the atypicals .

It is known now that all the promises made about better drugs, less side effects and all that crap was just that crap, they suck just as the original Major Tranquilizers now called Neuroleptics ( the breakdown of that word neuro = nerve, leptic= seizing think about what these drugs are supposedly doing in the brain, is nerve seizing anything near "helping" a neurotransmitter balance/ imbalance, I don't think so)

I do not take any drug that has not had its patent expire with no severe life changing side effects, I will let others be the Guinea pigs, I am done, sorry for the length but you all needed the truth about the lawsuit, if anyone has and questions ask away I'll be glad to answer anything I can, look my introduction up if you want a little back round on me , public service was my life before " I lost on Jeopardy, the category was genetics , I thought Alex Teebek said Dianetics and answered L.Ron Hubbard" yes I am sarcastic and have a dark sense of humor ( but I have managed to keep that, that's a +1).

Misterpain

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Turtle I found the greatest freedom in the strangest places, You did the best you could with what you had, no regrets kind sir for doing what you could when you could , as they say hindsight is 20/20, none of us have a crystal ball , or can see the future, the echoes of who we where will go on through the ages , but just remember what gives us hindsight is the accumulation of our life experiences and time ( it is the ultimate equalizer) you can not hold yourself responsible now for what you did then because you played your hand as it was dealt and as you thought right at the time , the future road you took is now the path of memories of life led and done and you now have perspective on the hard fought battles to get here, the is only one "time machine" it was your Mothers womb, we have no others , so try and be gentle with yourself , you can not pay the check today with knowledge aquirred tommorow, no matter what you think try and remember the one thing we all have in common is our humanity, don't lose sight of it , you are valued and valuable to all those who have come through or touched even for a minute your life, keep the faith and the love , reject what you don't like , speak your mind right or wrong you have that right as human being, and discount those who attempt to deprive you of any of those rights , Memories are powerfull things , share them with your class , we are your students, nobody learns from history that dies with us ( unless trump wins election and then that means nobody learned from the 1920's, as I like to say there was nothing "Great" about the "great depression" and we have no FDR waiting in the wings to save us again) .

Misterpain

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I am grateful for your posts that have made me aware of the dangers of metabolic syndrome. Research shows that many of the drugs we take that ease our anxiety cause it. There is no research I know of but I think the Gabapentin I took for 3 weeks slowed down my metabolism. Thanks to some of the discussions you have started, I am extremely aware that I need to be cautious of how things that have been prescribed to me are affecting me so YOU HAVE BEEN A POSITIVE INFLUENCE FOR ME! Myst

do you really know that you are not suffering as much as patients (friends)?