Get over it

I have a very physically demanding job. I get all the exercise I need from there. Not to mention it is way to hot to be outside if you don't need to be.

Thanks for sharing this.... I don't feel quite so alone not going for romps in the sunshine

Humpty is this feeling something that you feel all the time or is it sporadic? I see where you are coming from, how you view showing your emotions . . . . . . but grown men do cry and its okay. Its a release and a wonderful release it can be. But if your crying all the time and not understanding why and for no reason, maybe you and your wife could start at least "looking for answers and help". It sounds like you love your wife very much and I am sure she reciprocates that. It gets harder before it gets better, but I stuck through it with my husband and there is hope!! Rally support and be easy on yourself. Self care is important, even if that means getting on medication or talking to someone.

The depression and suicidal thoughts are always there. The feeling of I'm about to cry is always just below the surface. I see no way to get the relief you talk about.
I guess I'm getting what I deserve.

Nobody deserves depression, its learning to live with it. Humpty, tell me 2 things that make you smile or makes your heart feel full

I'll tell you like my therapist told me -- Would you tell someone who is diabetic to get over it? That their body should just make insulin? Would you tell someone who had a heart attack to get over it? That it should function normally? -- Of course not. Mental illness is the same in that aspect. You're going through a depression -- and that doesn't mean something traumatic had to happen to get you there. It's partially a chemical imbalance. You are validated in all your feelings and you shouldn't see it as you're not "worthy" of your depression -- as much as you wish you weren't in one anyway. You are going through it and it is there. It gnaws at you and you don't know HOW to just "get over it". We all go through that. You're not alone, and it helps to have a support system like family, and PsychCentral. Don't get bogged down on thinking you have "no reason" to be the way you are. Please, understand there are many facets to depression. Chin up buddy!

That's what chemical depression looks like, I believe. Situational depression is based on a situations that make you depressed. Chemically based depression requires chemically based treatment. There is no shame in going to see a doctor and getting medicine to help address this challenge. Sometimes to "get over it", we need to get help…and sometimes that help is in the form of medicine.
I tried for years to "overcome" my ADHD symptoms by "trying" to change my behaviors and impulses and by "toughing it out" and setting unrealistic goals and expectations for myself so I could change. But once I got on proper medication and my brain chemistry was managed, my symptoms were reduced in a way that all the trying in the world never could have done. Then, I was able to see much more clearly and live a better life.
So, you might be onto something. Situationally, you may have nothing to be depressed about. But chemically, you are depressed. I think it's important to go see a doctor and look into the possibility of using medicine to help treat your symptoms of depression (which may only be for a season to help you stabilize).

I know it's not what you want to hear but what would really make me happy beyond measure is dying in some sort of "accident" that my wife could collect a huge payoff from so that could supliment my income.

Actually I would and have said that, just not in those exact words, to my mother inlaw. She has diabetes, has had a heart attack, & is on oxygen 24/7. It is all her fault too. It is because she refused to quit smoking. 80% of her health problems are her fault & she knows I don't want to hear her gripe about it. I'm not big on trying to pass the blame off to someone else or just flat out saying "it's not my fault & there's nothing I can do about it."
So what I am going through is my fault & I should shut up about because I'm not willing to do what needs to be done to get better. I don't trust Drs because they have all given me reason not to trust them.

[QUOTE=Humpty Dumpty;5154098]I know it's not what you want to hear but what would really make me happy beyond measure is dying in some sort of "accident" that my wife could collect a huge payoff from so that could supliment my income.

Is money an issue for the both of you? Humpty I know you do not want to burden your wife with your "thoughts" but have you sat down with your wife and shared this with her?

We do ok now but without my income I'm not sure how she'd make ends meet. I have talked to her about it some and typically all I get is "Well I don't know what to say to that." So I don't even bother anymore.

I found a quote that I think sums up depression fairly well.
"If you know someone who’s depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather."
There is no 'why' to depression. It just is. It is an illness, like all the rest. There doesn't have to be a reason.
Like Brentus mentioned, with Diabetes, you don't tell them to get over it. You don't ask someone with cancer, "there is no reason for you to have this. Get over it."
Someone's health isn't their fault. For every person who got lung cancer because they smoked, you will find people who didn't get cancer when they smoked all their lives. There are so many factors that come into play.
Please don't think you deserve depression, that it's your fault, that you did something to get it, that there's a reason you have it, and that you have to just get over it.

"Get over it".

Three deadly words. I hope you do not fall victim to those words.

This is very powerful and well written. Thanks for sharing!!!

What about if your brain does not function well? That would be a reason

depression has many causes....it is important for us to understand what is causing our depression and then work on treating it...it may involve working to get rid of the cause...
we need to work towards mental health.....whatever that takes

I agree little turtle . . . . . . sometimes its more than a "change" - but understanding and realizing whatever is going on . . . . . is a great first step to working through the "muck" . . . .

I am the cause of my depression. It's my fault so maybe I should just remove myself from the equation. In the long run everyone would be better off.

What do you do to cause your depression?

I've had thoughts that everyone would be better off without me. Emotionally I feel that way sometimes but intellectually I know it is true. Do you have kids, spouse other family that love you?

Please don't put yourself through this. Man, that's the thing that sucks about depression. Not only do we deal with people who say the same type of things to us, but we stigmatize ourselves as well. You know, we could do everything "right": choose the right parents, eat right, exercise, go to church, do every possible thing that society wants us to do - and still people are going to have depression. You didn't cause this and it is no reflection on you as a person. It's an illness, one that's serious enough that some people qualify for disability. Please don't be so hard on yourself.