confessions of little turtle with love

fuzzy what is worrying you..

fuzzy---I have an idea for you...and me..
I think you haven't been able to tell your story..
without someone[therapist?]judging you...or trying to fix it...
you have trusted and tried but you have not had
a really good therapist...you have not been heard..
what do you think about this...you have been judged..

I say this because people want to sweep me under a carpet..
they would like to put me in the crazy category...
they don't want to hear about the ugliness in this world...
I think I am understanding your ANGER...

I Hope, And Pray that you, and Fuzzy have a good day today!!!!!!!

((((((( little turtle )))))))

I agree, people (a therapist etc) judge, don’t listen, use ugly words and labels They try to silence us using shame

They invalidate us, invalidate our experiences. They lie

katydid

maybe they want to hear ONLY what THEY WANT...

That’s why they don’t like fuzzy bear I suppose

I’m sure I’ve said some of this before

I was that little girl at 5 that “nobody liked” - and they had to tell me :-(

If the whole world thinks I’m a whiny *** bear or worse, I don’t give a ****. They can stick their opinions up their ***..

I know ..... I’m not “endearing”

I feel like a piece of meat going to a doctor, when I’m not allowed to speak. And I hardly ever go there, not at all unless it’s essential for something physical (they made me come into the surgery when the rash was bad.. again )

I wish I was a piece of dead meat :-(

That Narcissistic psychologist who abused me was like that. Only wanting to hear what HE wanted .. I wish I’d known about Narcissism then. I must be stupid, the PUs (parental units) were malignant narcissists too,.. but I sat there and paid that “professional” to abuse me :-(

He liked talking about sex.

But when, once, I described how bad my eczema was when I was 20 something he snarled at me and said I was “ramming it down his throat”

And he said he felt “callous” towards me when I described something callous the maternal unit had done.

Is this how psychotherapy is supposed to work?

I’ll probably “never” get that jerk out of my head. I’m a “failure”

And I still didn’t leave. Maybe I really am stupid..

In AA or something, apparently, there is some talk about people being “drunk on the past”

Another way of putting people down. If I could have a ****ing brain transplant I would

And there is more scary stuff I don’t think I’ll share . It doesn’t help to talk about it

Fuzzybear, it's about about whole NERVE transplant for me...

No doctor can help me, I am realizing my pdoc is cold. He told me two or three times before the medical entrance exam I will achieve nothing, and after the exam which I never gave, he keeps asking about whether or not I qualified the exam... A very cruel way to analyze I think. It doesn't hit me in front of him, but as I am re-preparing for the exam, it hits me now...

I feel like deleting my post. If I’m silent maybe I’ll die. I’d be doing the world a favour

Random hugs? Others “deserve” hugs but not me... it’s always been the same

Sorry about your shrink . The worst stuff hit me harder later as well

Don't... you deserve to be heard.

It's not my fault I grew up in a dysfunctional family, but at least I need legal help or at the very LEAST counseling. I know nothing can be done about nerve damage but he didn't straight-forward tell me that, not anything at all, except that the pre-medical exam will not give me anything.... how cruel, especially when I wanted to be a doctor because it was the combination of my competency, passion and desire to help people. It was truly, science and practice for me. No other branch of science or anything at all will give me satisfaction of studying medicine... let alone applying it.

I cannot interact with people without sounding completely crazy. So clinical specialties aren't an option. I am not interested in radiology or pathology (I believe I never will be) so the only option is a surgical specialty, but nerve damaged hands cannot perform surgery. It'd hurt and my hands would shake, leading to patients losing their lives. And that's what the movie Doctor Strange is all about....


So what about my dream to become a doctor? Down the drain.

He does sound cruel. They like to feel superior to their patients. So by definition, in their heads, the “patient” is “inferior”

That stinks - it’s so important to have a dream

I probably sound crazy when I interact with people too

I wouldn't say cruel but cold to say at most. As you probably know my parents abuse me, so he would ask my dad to stay in consulting room with me so I wouldn't ask questions like "What can be done about my mother's homicidal behavior?" "If there's point in living life why shouldn't I commit suicide"

And I had delusions that the doctors (including him) interfere in my life in a positive way. I realized the hard way they weren't true. Two years later.

there are certain things that have happened that I cant get out of my mind..
these things keep reappearing from time to time....today-------------
I was thinking about how hurt I feel about my marriage...I feel very hurt by my wife..
I have been told I was too sensitive...but I still feel hurt...
I feel hurt ...and if I were to tell certain people this...they would say it is my
mental illness...my mental illness...but I am FEELING hurt...

I’ve been told I’m too sensitive too

Who measures that “too” in “too sensitive”?....

I don’t think that feeling hurt is a mental illness

My opinion: Far from "stupid", you were an excellent student. You all too well learned the lesson you were to be a compliant piece of food on their plate to be eaten without objection.
Superb question!

Dear, Sweet, Fuzzy, Please don't feel so very down on yourself. All that know you here, know you are a wonderful person, and always tried to make others feel better. And we are so glad that you do this bc sometimes in our real life we don't get that at all. So Please don't think your words aren't important. Bc at the very least, they are to me!!!!!!! (((((((HUGS)))))))

I am understanding in my marriage how important it is to understand exactly what I and my wife are saying and what each of us wants and needs...this has been a tough week...

also my friend that died...I am mad at him and the hospital that treated him...especially the hospital..

I am happy that you are starting to understand your marrage better, and I am so sorry that your friend passed.

(((((((( little turtle ))))))))

(((((((( katydid )))))))))

Would any of you want a doctor like me? Dr.Lonely Chemist?

maybe...............

Would you trust someone with a mental maturity like mine to perform a surgery? I am not trying to get too personal here but I want some encouragement to be honest...

I guess I'll have to figure it out myself... but thanks anyway.

what works for me the very best ....a valium