Realization

I have come to realize something recently.

My issues and problems used to matter. They used to be listened to. They used to not be pushed under the rug so that those who were supposed to be supporting me could instead find a way to make me talking about my issues be wrong and therefore they are now the one in need of support, not me.

I used to actually feel like I could explain things. I used to feel I mattered even if I was nobody important.

I realize now - I do not matter - I never did.

It was all a charade .. and I was fooled by the illusion.

Funny thing ... Even this will probably be wrong to have said.

No matter what I say, it's wrong.

On here, on FaceBook, in life .. doesn't matter.. I'm all wrong

Why am I even here?

(((((Crypts_Of_The_Mind)))))





Our journey well explained....

The world treats us like that
Here you are amongst others who share your experiences
And have these same feelings...

You matter, Crypts_Of_The_Mind. And we do care. I'm so sorry other people don't make you feel like you matter, because you do. You're a wonderful person. I'm so sorry you're going through this. But remember that some people do care. Here, for example. I know it's not the same thing, but at least it's something. You've been a good friend to me, Crypts_Of_The_Mind. Your posts have helped me. Let me help you now. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this

((((((((( Crypts )))))))))

The world does treat us like that

On here, many do understand

Crypts, you've always treated me with respect and understanding -- which was something a lot of people in my youth did not do. It matters a great deal to me.

I'm not really sure what else to say at the moment, but I will always listen. You deserve at least that.

To everyone who has responded thus far:

I am not ignoring you, I simply do not know what to say. Like I said - I am growing accustomed to what I say being "wrong". That is starting to happen when I respond to others as well.

Honestly though, this time - I just truly don't know what to say.

What does a person say when told it is okay to talk - after believing that for many years, only to be "beat down" by several in general society, not even just personal (though some personal as well). I mean .. what do you believe? What sense do you make of things? Not that I don't still try to communicate ... but I don't expect to be heard without anger resulting from the one I communicate to.

I just - don't believe communication is something people want from me. Not really. I'm more of a nice ornament or thought to have around than I am anything else.

Thank you all for the kind words and I apologize for my negative ones.

This is why people don't want me around I think. I simply am not what they want.

You are NOT: lazy, crazy, terrible, horrible, awful, evil, stupid, dumb, worthless, unworthy, useless, helpless, unloveable, undignified or insignificant.
You are human.
You have flaws.
You have gifts.

I don't believe I am those things - except perhaps insignificant though I'm not sure that's the right word. So long as I am not opening my mouth to talk - I'm useful (to those around me), so long as I am not trying to convey messages through anything but memes, I am tolerable (to those online).

So yea .. just not meant to communicate.

Perhaps you just need to take some time for yourself, Crypts_Of_The_Mind. That's ok. I understand how you feel. Just try to do something nice for yourself. Don't worry if you don't know what to say. You don't "have" to say anything if you don't want to. You can do it later or when you feel like it. Whathever it's the best thing for yourself. Remember that we're here for you to listen to you and to support you. We care about you. We all love you here. Sending many hugs to you

The world can shut us down. They don't listen to us...

There is no understanding of our needs....

Choose who you can talk to safely without judgement. Therapists are trained to offload us ASAP.

It feels to me like they turn on us because they have no answers. I have spoken to ones who ask me "what help do I need?" If we knew that we would not be there....

Many care here
Much love to you

I have similar experience with my ex. It came to the point when I did not even open my mouth near him... I was silent and bad for myself.. Do not go there.

Do not stop to communicate even if it sound wrong to someone.
Especially on Faceb... it is your wall and your rules.. who does not like it, well ...

That's the thing though it's not just when I talk about me and my problems - but that is when it bothers me most - but it's also when I am trying to help others or just joining in conversation about things everyone else is discussing too or when I bring up a subject concerning society that bothers me or excites me.

This is true concerning abusive/controlling relationships, yes .. been there/done that - but what do you do when it is nearly everyone in your life? Yes, when it comes to my FB wall I have strict rules (and post them as reminder each time I notice it becoming issue again bc I gain friends due to groups I am in pretty frequent over a 6mo period) - if they do not like what I say they can ignore post, unfollow me, take me off friends, or block me - but not tell me what to post .. should they try I will be forced to choose one of those choices. But, again, many times it has to do with responses or posts I make in a group. It's just really frustrating. ..

That's why I said .. it's more like I am an ornament ..

They can easily ignore my wall but a response on their wall is not so easy to ignore..

My friend was in bad situation and she simply stopped to use FB. Now, I have to text her if I want to talk with her and that is ok.
Try to make yourself a company, a good company... The rest of them can go where sun does not shine..

Happy Valentine to you dear...

The world is full of people who treat us this way....

I am not sure why

People can be very rude

Hugs

People....

((((( Hugs )))))

I agree Fuzzy *hugs*

FaceBook and this is most of my socialization besides my husband. On FaceBook, most of my friends are from groups I am a member of - so really banning them resolves nothing bc its like watching a conversation with part of it missing.. that frustrates me more at times, lol. Things like:
----------------------------------------------------------
Person 1: Yea, my husband and I were at my friend's house, and my husband said some things I felt were inappropriate. He didn't see it that way, and she didn't seem to catch on to it - but it still bothers me. How should I handle it?

Person 2: Well, I would sit him down and talk with Him and explain why it bothers you.

Person 2: I didn't say that did I? I don't know why you think I am even hinting at that.

Person 1: I'm sure she didn't mean it that way, can we just get back to my issue please?

Person 2: Please stop! Even she knows I did not mean it that way. I only told her to talk to him.
----------------------------------------------------
That type of thing aggravates me - to not be able to try to help calm a situation. Does that make sense?

So, banning a group member is something I only do under the case of personal verbal abuse. Banning someone on my page, however, if they are not a member of a group, can be for starting issued with other friends and refusing to quit after I have tried other things (like removing comments ), or trying to control what I post/say on my own page after I warn a couple times - as well as abuse or stalking.

I do have rules and boundaries. It's just that I also want some friends who allow more communication than the hi/bye/how ya doing/etc type thing. I want to know it's ok to actually "speak". When I do - if I disagree with them or have a "negative emotion" (ie not happy), they say "is your mh bothering you?" Umm no .. I am allowed to think for myself and to have true emotions without it meaning I am unhealthy. It bothers me. Bothers me bad. Just tired of it.

Hi Crypts
It's not so much that what you say isn't important, but rather the people you're interacting with seem to be the problem. When we're surrounded by selfish people it can make us feel like we are the problem, but that's a wrong perception.

And as far as the kind of people you find online, such as facebook, it's not even worth thinking about. The world is full of people eager to tell you you're wrong. Not just You, but Anyone they disagree with.

People no longer discuss, debate, listen. Now people inform and if you don't accept their words then there's something wrong with whoever they're talking to. We all have dealt with it. I quit interacting, or limit how much i do, to avoid such people. Things are much better now.

Don't let the blowhards of the world convince you that you're less than.

I agree

How are you doing today, Crypts_Of_The_Mind? I hope you're doing a bit better. Remember that we're here for you if you need support. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this

I honestly already do this - have for years. Because of this my family and I have very few conversations per year and when we do, they generally range anywhere from 5-15 minutes. However, unless I am to quit socializing altogether, that is not going to resolve all my issues. These are not people who tell me what a rotten person I am bc of xyz ... instead these are people who simply make it clear that my thoughts/feelings are not as significant as either their own or someone else.

An example would be:

Situation: A teenage boy is cheating on his teenage girlfriend. They have been dating 2 years.

Me: They are still young, yes, but they should use it as a learning experience in communication since they have been together so long. Try talking it through and see if they can work things out.

Person 1: She can never trust him again.

Person 2: You're right, she should kick him to the curb.

Me: Don't you think it's worth giving it a chance?

***silence***

Me: Well, don't you?

Person 1: why?

Me: because they been together so long

Person 1: so?

Me: nevermind

Person 1: well, what does that have to do with anything?

Me: nothing I guess, forget it.

(Small example but an example nonetheless)