Not mentally ill

I was told recently by a psychotherapist that I am not mentally ill because I don't hear voices, am not psychotic and don't have BPD.
So why am I still wasting people's time (DR, psychiatry team etc.) if the way I feel is all my fault because I am stupid and pathetic? I feel so guilty asking people to help me when I know I don't deserve it, and when the services are so overstretched trying to help the people who are actually ill.
I have tried so hard to get better, I have don't everything they have asked me to do, but I still fail at everything and just feel worse and worse.
I should just do them all a favour and shut up and stop bothering them

You can vent how you are feeling,discuss your life events here.You may get some guidance. OR you may feel better by venting.

I can relate to you somewhat, I know it is hard to accept help when you feel you don't deserve it, but YOU DO! Please keep telling us how you are feeling so we can help you as a community.

LittleBlackDog I remember your situation a couple of months ago when you were assigned to a therapist you couldn't bond with and you were seeking some alternatives.

To be told you don't need therapy just because you don't hear voices is ... well, it's just simply unbelievable. There are many many types of mental disturbance that are hideously painful that don't involve hearing voices.

I live in the USA and often read about the dire straits of the medical system in the UK. It's too bad because ideally I believe in socialized medicine, but in reality those systems often seem to fail their patients. People fall through the cracks, or wait months, years, for surgery they need, I've heard.

Obviously you have yet to be matched with a therapist, but that certainly doesn't mean you don't deserve one.

I don't remember if you were on medication? Sometimes that can help these painful symptoms.

Please keep telling us about what's going on with you.

The problem is that I don't deserve it. I have been asking for help but it has now got to the point where there is nothing else the mental health team can offer me (other than ECT) because I am not sick enough to qualify for any other treatments.

Thank you. I am not on any medication, it doesn't work and I am very sensitive to side-effects.

I am starting group therapy in a couple of weeks time, and it was the therapist who runs the group who has told me that I am not ill. Which just makes me even more anxious about starting as I have really bad social anxiety and a huge fear of rejection and now I think they will all just be sitting there wondering why I am even there whinging about how bad my life is when there isn't even anything wrong with me.
But, I have no other options. I am struggling so much at the moment and I reached out to my so-called 'care team' and all they can offer me is a possibility of some compassion-focussed therapy, but I can't do that as well as the group therapy and they all think I should do the group therapy (presumably so they don't have to deal with me themselves).

Plus, everyone (GP, psychiatrist etc.) keeps telling me that it's only a couple of weeks till I start group therapy and acting like this will solve all my problems but, even if it works it is not a quick fix and I am struggling so much at the moment

I can barely make it through the day. I am not sleeping, feel sick all the time and feel like I am drowning and can't breathe but because I get dressed and go to work nobody believes me, or cares.

I am starting group therapy in a couple of weeks time, and it was the therapist who runs the group who has told me that I am not ill. .... I reached out to my so-called 'care team' and all they can offer me is a possibility of some compassion-focussed therapy, but I can't do that as well as the group therapy and they all think I should do the group therapy....

Plus, everyone (GP, psychiatrist etc.) keeps telling me that it's only a couple of weeks till I start group therapy and acting like this will solve all my problems but, even if it works it is not a quick fix and I am struggling so much at the moment
with SI and self-harm. I ended up in A&E last week and needed 30 stitches

I can barely make it through the day. I am not sleeping, feel sick all the time and feel like I am drowning and can't breathe but because I get dressed and go to work nobody believes me, or cares.

I am so sorry you are suffering like this, LittleBlackDog. I wish there was something I could do to help. I offer you many hugs - - for what it's worth.

Is it possible that when they are saying you are "not ill" they are just saying you're not psychotic?

If you can get through the next 2 weeks somehow I'd say do go ahead and try the group; it may be that your fears may not be realized and you might even find that it works out for you. After all, everyone in the group will have their own unique personal history, and maybe some are just as afraid as you. If it doesn't work out then maybe you can try the compassionate therapy.

Before that starts, though, would you care to share any of your background here? Anything you think might be contributing to the agony you are presently going through?

My best wishes to you...

There are other illnesses that cause different symptoms than the ones your psychotheraist has eliminated. I mean. Depression is one of the most common MENTAL ILLNESSES that people experience. It causes genuine pain, destroyed relationships, and even hospitalization and suicide.

I hate when people try to compare pain. Try to invalidate others conditions just because they feel they have it WORSE. Thats garbage. Thats jealousy. Thats insecurity. And that in my opinion is just cruel.

Suffering is suffering no matter the reason why. Pain is pain. And Im sorry you are experiencing what you are experiencing. No one should make you feel bad for it- its not their right to do that to you.

I hope you feel better more and more as time goes on. And one day- you

You deserve help AS MUCH AS ANYONE ELSE, @littleblackdog!! Please don't be so hard on yourself! I completely agree with ALL the other wise and wonderful posters. I am DEEPLY, TRULY SORRY that you're getting treated in such an AWFUL way. Please DO NOT think that you're getting what you deserve because you aren't. What YOU deserve are True Loved and Compassion, True Kindness, all things that you aren't getting from them right now. Please do NOT give up although I understand how hard it can be at the moment. Please do NOT hurt yourself. I COMPLETELY agree with the wise and wonderful Mopey abou waiting to try Group Therapy. Perhaps that will be of some help! You never know!! KEEP FIGHTING AND KEEP ROCKING! If that doesn't work we can start looking for some options together. There's ALWAYS Hope so please don't throw away your shot like DocJohn wisely says. I hope things will start working out REALLY soon for you! Please keep us posted if you wish to do so. You're in my Thoughts and Prayers. Keep working on yourself as much as you possibly can. Most importantly, please be REALLY, REALLY KIND to yourself, my AWESOME, dear, sweet, kind generous, wise and WONDERFUL Friend! Feel free to PM me ANYTIME when you need Advice and Support! I am SURE plenty of others will gladly help you out as well! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH You, @littleblackdog, Your Family, Your Friends and ALL Of Your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking as much as you possibly can like you're already WONDERFULLY doing entirely on your own! PLEASE DO KEEP FIGHTING AND DO KEEP ROCKING AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN LIKE YOU'RE ALREADY WONDERFULLY DOING ALL AND ENTIRELY BY YOURSELF! KEEP FIGHTING AND KEEP ROCKING, MY AWESOME, DEAR, SWEET, KIND, GENEROUS, WISE AND WONDERFUL FRIEND!!

I’ll go to the group therapy because I said I would and I am boring and responsible like that.

I don’t really know where to start, I just feel so hopeless right now, and like I will never get better, and that it must be somehow my fault. I have had a fairly rubbish couple of years, but so do lots of people and they don’t fall to pieces.

I always felt that I must just be doing something wrong and the psychologist telling me that I am not ill confirmed it, and explains why medication etc. haven’t helped, and I am just wasting everybody’s time.

I also have nobody I can talk to about any of this, I have no real friends and only one person in my family knows and is not particularly supportive so I just feel so alone.

I am just stupid and pathetic and worthless

LittleBlackDog, I see nothing boring about being responsible. I wish more people were conscientious and responsible, to tell the truth.

Just because you are unhappy does not mean you are stupid or pathetic or worthless. It simply means you are in pain for some reason. And people respond to life's challenges quite differently. Some are more sensitive than others.

You mentioned having a difficult couple of years. Would you care to talk about a anything specific that happened?

In the meantime, many hugs and much encouragement.

The main things were that my dad was diagnosed with cancer, had surgery and chemo etc. then a few weeks after he was given the all-clear he started to feel ill again and was then told the cancer was back, in multiple organs and was untreatable. He died 6 weeks later.
I was also being bullied at work by my manager (though this is not an issue any more).

Over the last few years I have tried more drugs and combinations of drugs then I can remember, have tried different types of therapy and everything has just made me feel worse. Now I am running out of options and I can't help feeling that this is my fault, if I am not actually ill then that explains why the medication etc. didn't work and I have just been wasting everyone's time for the last few years.

I had to call the mental health team again today

but I know that they won't be able to do anything. Last time I felt like this they sent someone from the crisis team round who told me that there is nothing they could do because I wasn't in crisis...

I wish I had answers for you, LBD, but I obviously don't. I'm just so sorry you're in so much pain. And my deepest condolences in regards to your father.

Just a couple of thoughts.

First of all, you're obviously going to go through a period of grief in regards to your dad, even if the relationship was troubled. Grief is not a mental illness but it can extend for a long time and be very painful. I don't know if you have read up on that, but you might find some explanations for how you are feeling in articles on that. There may very well be such articles on this forum. Skeezyx would know.

Secondly, I wonder if you have pretty much always felt the way you're feeling now, or if it has come on only in the last couple of years, while you were experiencing the illness and death of your father, and the troubles at work, which I'm glad to hear are no longer a problem.

Many hugs... (((((( ))))))

I had some bereavement counselling after my Dad died, but after a few sessions he said there was nothing more he could do for me because of the depression (he said it in a nice way and I think was just frustrated at the lack of support from the mental health services.

TBH I think I had been anxious/depressed for a while but I tend to just bottle things up and carry on, but I guess that just stopped working.

I spoke to the duty worker yesterday but there’s nothing they can do. I am not sick enough to get a higher level of care but medication doesn’t work so they don’t really know what to do with me. The really frustrating thing is that because I get dressed and go to work and try to do other stuff (voluntary work) people think I am doing well and just tell me to stay strong. But I’m not strong and I just feel worse and worse and nobody will help me.

Thanks for the reply, LittleBlackDog. Again, I'm so sorry you are suffering.

In regards to depression, it is true that some persons are so totally disabled by it that they literally cannot get out of bed. So if you are getting up and going to work, and even volunteering, you would seem to be relatively high functioning even though you feel like cr---p all the time.

I wonder, did the grief counseling help at all while it was going on?

I know there are lots of people worse off than me, which is why I feel so bad for asking people to help me.
The man reason I carry on is because I have to, I am too afraid of what will happen if I don’t - I have bills and stuff to pay and nobody else will do it for me.

The grief counselling didn’t really help - it was nice to have someone to talk to but you only ever get a limited number of sessions and I was struggling so much, I failed like I have failed at everything else I tried.

LBD I sent a reply to this last post of yours soon after you made it, but it never appeared here on the forum; not sure why but that sometimes happens.

What I said then was that you obviously have a reserve of inner strength that is allowing you to keep going even though you don’t feel like it, and some pretty strong principles, too.

I also asked whether you were missing your dad a lot.

Hope you’re hanging in there. I guess your group should be starting fairly soon as well.

Ditto to the above. I hope you do get the help you need.