Daily check in thread: Ups & Downs #31

Rose76 · Dec 23, 2022, 05:09 PM

I still feel depressed. I just want to lie down.

Dec 23, 2022, 05:13 PM

I went grocery shopping this morning at 9 AM. The store and the parking lot were busy. I got a parking space but I felt like it was some kind of fluke that I got it. Because, for ever space that opened up, there were about five cars lined up to take it. Normally it's not like that when I shop every Friday morning. I can guess why that happened the way it did this morning. Perhaps it had something to do with Christmas being only a couple of days away? I'm glad the shopping's over with. I can't imagine what it's going to be like tomorrow?

Buffy01 · Dec 23, 2022, 08:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rose76

I still feel depressed. I just want to lie down.

I hear you. I am depressed to.

Yzen · Dec 23, 2022, 09:50 PM

tired and sad
-this time of year is always complicated

Rose76 · Dec 24, 2022, 07:22 PM

This is turning out to be a sad Christmas Eve for me. One of my sisters has not called me, and I don't believe she will. I'm very hurt by this. I haven't figured out how to get over it. I'm all alone, which I normally could handle. Last year I did just fine with being alone. Both my sisters called and we all looked forward to me visiting them in the summer. But then I got very sick and couldn't go anywhere. I'm still recovering. I was looking forward to visiting in the spring of '23. But now there's hard feelings. I didn't know my sister could be this mean.

Dec 24, 2022, 07:40 PM

Was busy as usual with my Saturday morning cleaning. But then, after lunch, I felt very depressed. Being Christmas Eve it feels different even though my routine is exactly the same. Seems like there's something different in the air. Things haven't been going well socially lately since I split up with my only friend and my family isn't much of anything.

Going to have dinner pretty soon and watch a movie tonight by myself. I hope I'll like the movie. Tomorrow I plan to do some light cleaning and make my spaghetti sauce. I make my sauce once a month. Even though it's Christmas, it won't be any different than any other Sunday. I should be busy tomorrow morning but not much after that.

T4bbyCat · Dec 24, 2022, 11:54 PM

Happy holidays to all! Merry Christmas, winter solstice holiday, whatever you celebrate... personally, I've realized that it's not really the holiday itself, but more the underlying problems, which celebrate no holidays and take no holidays. In any case, I trust we'll all find a solution and a way out...

Dec 25, 2022, 11:22 AM

Early last night I bumped into a couple of neighbors at my apartment complex; and I didn't feel like talking to anyone. One guy just came in from a party (either it ended early or he left early because he may have not had a good time. This was at 7:30). He acted slightly embarrassed to see me, I guess and he didn't seem happy. But then he said, "Merry Christmas" to me. That may have seemed nice but to me it felt more like rubbing salt in the wound. He knew I was going to be alone and hate Christmas. So getting out a little bit last night was a bit of a torture. I didn't expect it to happen because it seemed like everyone was out. I watched a movie afterwards and it was alright. Maybe I would have liked it better if I was in a better mood.

I didn't get to sleep right away last night and then I woke up at 4 AM and couldn't get back to sleep. So I feel a bit tired. I have some things to do this morning, so maybe I'll be able to get through this day that's as appealing as having a root canal.

Buffy01 · Dec 25, 2022, 06:36 PM

I been trying to find new ways to feel better.

Buffy01 · Dec 25, 2022, 06:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yzen

tired and sad
-this time of year is always complicated

I’ve been feeling like this lately.

Dec 25, 2022, 07:44 PM

So this is Christmas. That's what the late John Lennon sang. I got through another one OK. Not much happened but I didn't feel as bad as I thought I would. I called my brother and sister. My brother didn't say much just like the way he's always been. I was reluctant to call my sister because it's been unpleasant the last few times we talked. It went OK with her this time.

I went on a one hour bike ride late this afternoon and, when I got back, a neighbor who's nice and understanding with me gave me about 2-3 cups of homemade granola. I took a little sample of it and it was great. I'm planning to have it for breakfast tomorrow and looking forward to it. I like that woman because she completely understands my depression since she has it, too. She tells me that she's glad to talk to me; and I'm understanding about her depression.

Rose76 · Dec 26, 2022, 06:43 AM

My Christmas wasn't totally a disappointment. One sister called, texted and sent photos. My other sister didn't call, as she normally would. She's obviously mad and giving me the cold shoulder. I made a good dinner of ham and sweet potatoes and other stuff. I enjoyed looking at my tree and other Christmas things. I refilled my bird feeders. A lot of birds seem to depend on me. I celebrate all the way up to the feast of the epiphany. I enjoyed some movies. I did feel the magic of Christmas in the air. I always do, no matter what. I continue to be depressed, but I'm functioning. I feel kind of at peace.

Breaking Dawn · Dec 26, 2022, 07:56 AM

Yes, there sure are those ups & downs.

Buffy01 · Dec 26, 2022, 09:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by will19

So this is Christmas. That's what the late John Lennon sang. I got through another one OK. Not much happened but I didn't feel as bad as I thought I would. I called my brother and sister. My brother didn't say much just like the way he's always been. I was reluctant to call my sister because it's been unpleasant the last few times we talked. It went OK with her this time.

I went on a one hour bike ride late this afternoon and, when I got back, a neighbor who's nice and understanding with me gave me about 2-3 cups of homemade granola. I took a little sample of it and it was great. I'm planning to have it for breakfast tomorrow and looking forward to it. I like that woman because she completely understands my depression since she has it, too. She tells me that she's glad to talk to me; and I'm understanding about her depression.

That is amazing.

Buffy01 · Dec 26, 2022, 09:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rose76

My Christmas wasn't totally a disappointment. One sister called, texted and sent photos. My other sister didn't call, as she normally would. She's obviously mad and giving me the cold shoulder. I made a good dinner of ham and sweet potatoes and other stuff. I enjoyed looking at my tree and other Christmas things. I refilled my bird feeders. A lot of birds seem to depend on me. I celebrate all the way up to the feast of the epiphany. I enjoyed some movies. I did feel the magic of Christmas in the air. I always do, no matter what. I continue to be depressed, but I'm functioning. I feel kind of at peace.

Sometimes it hard when we are depressed.

Rosi700 · 02:32 PM

I have had a good Christmas celebration together with my family. My only worry is that perhaps I have eaten too much.

I hope that those of you who had not so good Christmas celebrations are ready to move on.

I am facing one of my triggers, not big yet, but it can be if I don't prepare how to meet it. We are all different. One of my problems is that I need structured days to prevent that old memories do not tear me down. Now I have been three days without my usual structure. The chance is there that the old memories kick in and that they can lead me into deeper depression.

After writing this I will go right to repeat my notes about how to prevent setbacks and then to my personal planner and schedule all of tomorrow, so I will not drift away in my thoughts.

Rose76 · Dec 26, 2022, 04:58 PM

Christmas day was fairly ok. Today I just keep sitting or lying down. I know what I should do. But I don't. I got a bad feeling that I'm not going to pull out of this.

Buffy01 · Dec 26, 2022, 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by will19

I received a gift card, along with a Christmas card, from the friend whom I just recently let go. It was sent out to me just before I split up with him. It's a gift card I can use because I shop there. I called him, even though I didn't want to, to thank him for the card. We talked a little bit but I still don't want to remain friends with him.

I got a call today from the Urologist's office. I'll have a phone conversation with the Urologist two weeks from now. He and his nursing staff are away for the holidays now.

Wow! I hope everything will work out for the best.

Buffy01 · Dec 26, 2022, 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rose76

Christmas day was fairly ok. Today I just keep sitting or lying down. I know what I should do. But I don't. I got a bad feeling that I'm not going to pull out of this.

That is good.

Dec 26, 2022, 07:27 PM

I was busy throughout today. Some stores were opened that I needed to do business with. I went to an auto parts store to get two lift supports replaced on my hatchback. The hatchback would not stay up to remain open. I had that happen for six months. That was bound to happen because the car is old. After lunch I went out to pick up some more things I needed. Other than that, not much to report about. I've been feeling alright today but on an even plateau.