I need some encouragement.

Moving helps me a lot Rose, but sometimes I need motivation to move and that for me is the tricky bit. I like the idea of the timer method, the idea of just do a little bit of something, taking the pressure off yourself because sometimes it feels overwhelming to start something. I don’t use a timer myself but I think that sounds like a good idea.

Keep us posted if you can, you’re doing great even though you might not feel it sometimes.

Very good suggestions above. It means a lot to me that you posters are still checking this thread. I got to do better today.

I just had some lunch. Next I'm going to take a shower, get dressed and fix my hair. I do know that's a good next-thing-to-do. But it's just a start.

Sometimes, once I start, I keep going. I got to make today count.

I might need to talk to my PCP about some more Vicodin tablets. Just to get me through Christmas. It is very, very hard to get more opioids, unless you're dying of cancer. But my bleeding ulcers mean I can't take NSAIDS. I can't go back on Indocin.

I better start.

Sweetie, I haven't read the whole thread, but I find some creams for pain to be helpful. Biofreeze can help, but it smells like horse ointment. There are a bunch of others that smell better. Maybe it's even the rubbing that helps.

I shall give one of those remedies a whirl. Thanks for the suggestion.

I've been working on the tree. I had to stop from back pain. I'm having a hot rum tody. A little alcohol might ease my back.

4 p.m. and I'm still in my night gown. I better make what's left of the day count for something. So disappointed in myself. The tree is still bare. I did the living room window and front patio yesterday. I was happy with that. But I woke up this morning with zero interest in continuing.

6 pm. At least i put underpants on today. And i did put away some canned goods from amazon. And i am following my weight watchers plan. I need to put some time on the bike so my blood sugar comes in low tomorrow morning.

That's good that you'll exercise @unaluna.

I am depressed. I better just get dressed and start doing stuff. My life feels pointless.

The physical soreness is a lot of the problem.

I used to relax with some drinks and feel better. Now alcohol upsets my insides. So I don't bother. I just want to go lie down.

I'm increasing my amitriptyline. It's my antidepressant.

There's absolutely nothing to be gained by regretting what I didn't do an hour ago. It's best to use the next few hours constructively.

I want to tell my PCP that I'm physically hobbled by losing my prescription for Indocin, the potent NSAID. Even if she can't do anything about it, I want her to care. I don't why? Maybe because I just need to be cared more about. It's foolish to want that when I'm not doing anything for anyone. I've started to believe I can't do anything better than I'm doing. That's never true.

DBT says you have to argue against irrational thinking. I do that all the time. It doesn't work. Some things can't be worked out inside your head. Being alone too much promotes staying inside one's head.

Maybe I should get a dog.

The pain is really getting to me. Then some lady on facebook goes, hey have you guys tried a heating pad? I refrained from answering her, so thats my crown in heaven for the day.

Hope that helps!

Sounds wise!

I have improved. Last evening I got the tree 85% finished. Today I got out to run errands. I don't feel overwhelmed now.

I was cheerful today. Right now my main problem seems physical. I'm tired and sore. I'll rest. Then I'll get more done.

Congrats!

I spoke too soon. I thought I had pulled out of the tailspin. I'm not ok. Even though I improved yesterday and the day before. Today I did nothing.

I know a thread like this gets stale pretty fast. The encouragement has been appreciated. Now I either do what needs doing or I don't.

I got a call from the office of my PCP. Someone on the line wanted to schedule me for a mammogram. I said, "No thanks." Then she wanted to do a "depression screening" on the phone. It was a multiple choice thing. She wasn't a nurse or an MSW. She wasn't even an M.A. She was some kind of a "tech." The questions started. Then we got disconnected. She didn't call back.

I don't think "techs" should be conducting psych screenings.

I guess I should just "snap out of it."

I think we need to, or can, embrace a completely different sense of time after our work years are done and we are on our own. It can be a different paradigm. Rewards come in / for different ways.

Hey, you know that’s not realistic or fair on yourself right? If only it were that easy. There’s going to be good days and bad.

That depression evaluation with the tech sounds pretty awful, I agree that’s not appropriate. Multiple choice and then getting cut off without a call back, it’s not at all helpful.

Keep on with the self care, and post here if it helps,, but you aren’t posting anything stale from others perspective and we certainly don’t expect you to snap out of anything.

I like to post. It reminds me that, over the years, I've posted about past tailspins. They always end. Then I can feel well, which sometimes lasts for quite a while. It can seem that an "episode" is going to be permanent, but these blue periods are transient. I'm not a hopeless person. I find things to enjoy.

What scares me is that I'm enjoying doing nothing. That's ok now and then. This is not ok.

I keep thinking I'll do better tomorrow. Tonight I don't think that.

In CBT there is a saying: "This too will pass". One is to imagine that one is on a boat in rough sea. To feel frightened or whatever will not help, because it will not take the boat out of the waves.

So please don't worry about being content with doing nothing, but try to set your goals very low. Pick up two Christmas things in the morning and two in the evening (as examples) and hang it on the three. If you want to do more that is OK, if not, that is OK as well.

The italians have a saying, "Beato far niente." How lovely or blessed to do nothkng. And buckingham whatsisname the philosopher even wrote a book about it.

It is in this quiet that you can hear your true self.

It is not lovely or blessed to be depressed. This is not my true self. This is mental illness. No one likes being in bad shape.

I appreciate you trying to find a silver lining to the cloud. This cloud is just bad.

That's good advice.

I think it’s really good to do nothing if you feel content about it or truly need rest from something. I sometimes feel content with doing nothing but only if main things are done or I am truly resting. Otherwise I am very anxious about stuff not being done. So I can’t enjoy doing nothing. I think it depends how you feel about it. If doing nothing stresses you out, then it’s no good

As about setting goals or manage tasks. You might want to have your tasks and goals adjusted. Some of the things you assigned yourself would be too much for lots of people.

There are plenty of ways to decorate for holidays without putting up Christmas trees. It’s too much work even if one isn’t depressed or isn’t in pain!

Ton of nice ready made stuff out there including table top decorated little trees or arrangements with no tree. Decorating actual tree is not really needed in order to have holiday spirit. I’d spend that energy on something more long term (tree will have to come down some time before May so it’s yet additional task, who needs that?)

Just a thought. Make baby steps.

Today wash the sheets make bed and shower

Tomorrow clean up the kitchen and make a simple meal

One-two easy things a day

Etc