[Rose76]

Today was a pretty good day.

[3rd rock]

There's nearly a foot of snow outside and the city has shut down the street I live on. That's never happened before in the 13 years I've been living in this apartment. As a result I had to call in to work tonight I'm not happy about missing work, but neither am I upset about not having to go in. Experience dictates the city won't clear the street by tomorrow night, either, so I'll have to miss Thursday night as well. I'll stay in and try to get some writing done. The forecast calls for higher temperatures and rain over the weekend, so I will probably be fine to get to work on Monday. I will stay home and I won't drink. Instead, I'll try to get some writing done, read a bit, and in general try to relax and focus on the night.

I have an intake appointment at the local mental health and addictions clinic on Monday. I'm anxious about going as I'm not sure what to expect. My prior experience with addictions (I got sober about 8 years before my relapse broke 8 years of sobriety) dictates that I can't get sober alone, so this is an important first step, I suppose.

[hiddenaway]

I'm not sure if I'm hormonal or just having a bad few days but I just feel like crying. Not even Drew is doing much at this point.

[Rose76]

Today is not going as well as yesterday. I must accomplish something, or I'll get sucked deeper down into the vortex.

[hiddenaway]

...well, I was (and am) hormonal. Ugh.

Today was a pretty nice day. The dentist went well, a great check up. I really like the hygienist a lot. She's very nice to me and gives me tips and pointers when there's a problem area.

And I'm able to get a refund back from an online order I made. I feel bad for having to return an item, but it didn't serve me well.

[Rose76]

Today went a lot better than yesterday. Showered, dressed and ran an errand. I'm still packing up Xmas decorations. I'll improve even more, once I get all this stuff in my storage closet. At least I'm making progress.

[Buffy01]

I think that my family is causing me to feel depressed with all their put downs

[Calla lily12]

I'm going from depression to hypo mania . The hypo mania is from the ECT I'm getting. The doctor is aware and he's keeping an eye on it. I actually like the hypo mania. It feels like a relief to feel semi normal.

[Rose76]

I'm doing a lot better. I just have to keep moving forward with getting organized.

A very dull weekend. It rained for most of it. I cleaned yesterday and did a little today. No bike riding this weekend because of the rains.

[Violetta75]

Couldn't sleep last night. Got 2 or 3 hours. I swear sleep can be the solution to so much of this feeling down and anxious.

[3rd rock]

I have an appointment with the intake counselor at the addictions clinic in four hours. If I'm being fully honest, I'm already planning on going to the liquor store on my way home. I am very apprehensive about what to expect, as I've never been to this particular clinic before. It's a public clinic attached to the local hospital that sees patients on an outpatient basis. I hope the clinician doesn't recommend residential treatment, as I'm not currently able to take extended time off work due to obligations at work. But we'll see how it goes.

[Buffy01]

Lately I have been feeling really down and I don't feel that my therapy session should stop

[Violetta75]

My tinnitus is sooo bad tonight. I guess I'll try listening to ocean waves on youtube or something. pulled several muscles. i want to sleep.

[Rose76]

Yesterday and today were two crappy days. Was I doing what I could do to make them good days? No I wasn't. So I got out what I put in - nothing.

The previous two days were good days. Gee, why was that? - I ask myself. Well, I got out of bed earlier, showered, did some housework, filled my bird feeders outside, ran errands, and ate decent meals. When I get stuff done, I feel so much better. Clearly, I know what choice to make, if I don't want tomorrow to be another crap day.

I'm at my weakest in the morning. I wake up with zero motivation. Somehow I have to make myself get up and get dressed at a reasonable hour. Once I get dressed and get out of the house, I improve greatly. It's awful to have no self-discipline.

[emily1890]

biggest confession of 2024 so far:

it's almost the end of january and I have gone absolutely nowhere with my life and really don't feel I'm doing any better emotionally

this is what I said to someone the other day who emailed me asking me how I was doing

never replied though, I guess she was hoping for the typical response that people are meant to give.. something along the lines of yeah, yeah I'm great.

well not gonna say it if it isn't true

[Violetta75]

I finally got sleep but woke up so sore. I don't have enough pain meds until the next refill. I took some robaxacet. I need to get more laundry done today. I don't feel depressed or anxious right now, I talked to a friend who is a man but just a friend. Sleep helps. Having a coffee.

[Violetta75]

Originally Posted by emily1890

biggest confession of 2024 so far:

it's almost the end of january and I have gone absolutely nowhere with my life and really don't feel I'm doing any better emotionally

this is what I said to someone the other day who emailed me asking me how I was doing

never replied though, I guess she was hoping for the typical response that people are meant to give.. something along the lines of yeah, yeah I'm great.

well not gonna say it if it isn't true

Good for you to tell the truth to that person. It's sad they haven't replied to you yet. When I was a kid, I learned early that we couldn't say ''im not ok'' to my parents. They'd answer the question themselves if I just didn't say anything. They'd say ''Have to be ok eh?'' It's important for your mental health to be able to find someone who can listen. Do you have a counselor or any mental health resources?

[hiddenaway]

I hate having urges to post the most unhinged and, admittedly, invasive things I can think of on mainstream social media.

I haven't actually posted anything yet, but the temptation is there and I don't like it.

[Rose76]

Well, today was another crap day, where I acccomplished nothing that I thought I would get done. My own fault. Let myself get distracted. Maybe I can do a little this evening.

[Violetta75]

I'm very mood swingy and cant seem to shut my brain off. If someone could knock me out with a frying pan that would be fine.

[hiddenaway]

I miss Drew so bad, y'all.

Him hasn't posted anything on Threads in six weeks and somehow that silence hurts more than not getting my I love you.

I'm starting to think him's not coming back (but I'm probably just overthinking it again).

[Buffy01]

I’ve been feeling depressed due to past mistakes

[Violetta75]

Originally Posted by Buffy01

I’ve been feeling depressed due to past mistakes

Try to remember, we cant change the past, the past is gone. I know what you're feeling (or I'm aware of feeling bad of my past mistakes).... it can make you feel so much worse. I hope you find something you like to do today, and do something nice for yourself