[Sultrysorrow]

It's been awhile since I've been on PC. Last time I think I was either on leave in NJ or still in Okinawa.
To give a brief history. My marriage well, has not been the best one to say the least. It's been over 9 years of struggle, mainly cause neither one of us are right in the head. In the last 2 months I've consumed enough alcohol to kill an elephant a dozen times over. And I can't (at least for right now) see an end to this downward spiral.
In April I was still in Okinawa after being there for almost a year. Then I had to transfer to N.C. And I was so excited myself and the Mrs. had it all worked out to move down there, (she canceled the lease and quit her job) to come down w/ me. But not three day's after flying 1/2 way across the world and driving across the country she tells me the marriage is over and I'm not coming with you.
I was so blind-sided and traumatized that I have not yet fully mourned what has transpired. I feel so depressed. Drinking myself to being drunk almost every evening. I feel like a drone at work. I have no desire to go out or let alone socialize. This past Saturday night I nearly finished an entire bottle of Wild Turkey 101. When I woke up yesterday afternoon I have a big knot on the back of my head, chair knocked over and in different clothes. Flip flops facing the shower head and clothes tossed up on the shower curtain rod. I'm shocked that I'm still alive and didn't to anything too stupid.
In any event things still are very difficult as far as communicating w/ the Mrs. I feel like she's expecting the impossible out of me being over 500 miles away from our beautiful daughter.
I'm depressed and alone w/ no family or real friends here. This hell seems like forever. <font color="green"> </font>

[nowheretorun]

that does sound very depressing Sultry... i can imagine the horrible alone feelings you must be having... there are ways to begin to heal yourself and build a meaningful relationship with your loved ones... start by telling yourself you matter... its good you've come to PC and told about your experiences..

[kebsfroggy]

I don't believe we've met. Sorry you stayed away so long.

I'm a frog of little brain so all my sage advice is worth less than zero. Just so you know.

Would you like me to start with...drinking yourself to death which I assume is your desire does what? Is that what you want your beautiful daughter to remember? (Bit@hy aren't I)

Long separations are very traumatic to all parties. That's why so many military families are torn apart while the husband is underway. It is the worse type of separation too because very often neither party can keep in close contact with the other, sometimes for 6 months or more.

Don't blame yourself. (You like the canned phrases I'm coming up with.)

But seriously, cut yourself some slack. Since I'm assuming you cannot type and drink at the same time....keep typing.

Look forward to hearing more from you.
((( Sultrysorrow )))

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((( Sultrysorrow )))))))))))))

[nightbird]

(((SultrySorrow)))

I hope you keep posting about your problems because if for nothing else, you will get to see what works and doesn't in order to put your life back together again, and possibly your marriage, if it can be salvaged.

Reaching out for help is key.

Keep the honesty up front and listen to what your experiences are trying to tell you.

Maybe you need a new path to follow and build on. Or a new direction to go in.

You'll be able to figure it out over time. Take those little steps and see what happens.
Right now it's about getting you straightened out and thinking clearly about the issues
that could be hurting your family.

We will be here.

Peace and comfort,
Nightbird

[healer2011]

My thought as I was reading your post is that the VA system offers a Substance Abuse Outpatient Program (SAOP) that is really helpful to vets. They offer support groups, a counselor, and a psychiatrist. I think that this might be a good place to consider going. It would help you with the drinking that you're doing and it would also allow you a place to meet some other men (and women) who can lend you some support. The counselors are also really great. A friend of mine used to work at the VA SAOP and met many people who thought it was just great.