[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

I get nervous going to my t. I always do. Ive been seeing this t for about a month, just had an appointment (the first) with my pdoc who is in the same office as my t. After the third appointment t was pretty convinced of my previous DID diagnosis. According to him though the pdoc very rarely agreea with DID diagnosises with patients. But apparently after my first visit she believes my previous diagnosis is correct as well.

But i worry about these appointments because i feel like they think im telling lies. I dont though. But i can go in one day and tell them all about my 24/7 anxiety or fear and the very next week i dont remember feeling that way for quite some time. I apparently tell them things and the very next week i contradict myself. I never want to, im as honest at these appointments as i can be, i really want to get better. At these appointments though ive been getting really fuzzy feelings in my head, that conveniently clears after the appointments, but in that fuzz its hard to remember a lot of things. I vaguely remember these appointments and it worries me that i may say something to contradict myself again and again. I thought maybe its a memory issue but t thinks its in relation to the DID. I feel like im loosing my memory all together sometimes. Sometimes its hard to even remember my name. I told him on my first appointment that i hadnt had hallucinations in a couple of years, i really didnt remember. But when i brought in my journal from august 2012-february 2013, it was full of me seeing shadows and things. I let him read it, i want to get better. But at the same time im afraid they will think im a liar. Is this a normal concern or just me? I worry about just about everything so its possible its just me, but idk what to do about it, it makes me not want to go sometimes...

[Gr3tta]

I think worrying about what T thinks of you, and wondering if you are believed by them, is a very normal concern. Lots of people worry about these issues.
It is also very possible that the contradictions you are aware of are a result of dissociation. For instance, high anxiety all the time may be very true for one part, while not true at all for another. Your T believes you dissociate, so will be able to understand how this may be true. It is also possible that you have a different perspective on different days. For instance, if you go in feeling really down one day, you may express that you are constantly miserable. You may go in on another day when you are feeling much happier, and express that you've been feeling generally good. It's not lying, it's just having different perspectives based on how you're feeling. T should be very familiar with this. Sometimes too, you may just genuinely forget things. Memory is far from perfect. You might tell T that something hasn't happened in years, then have your memory jogged by reviewing your journal entries, and realize it's been more recent than that. This doesn't mean you lied, just that you were mistaken. I am certain T could understand this.
Have you told T about the fuzzy feeling you get in your head while you're there? This could be related to dissociation.
Granted, I don't know you at all in real life, but everything I know about you from PC tells me that you work hard, and genuinely want to get better. I am confident that your T would be able to see this as well.

[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

Thank you gretta, youre always such a big help. I havent discussed my concerns with t about the contradictions but did mention the fuzzy feeling when i was in there. I had to write out the date on a paper and was pretty convinced it was may the 7th when i was trying tovfill out the paper, but it didnt sound right. So i asked him "its may right?" He says "i dont know, what day is it?" And i said may 7th right? I thought it was. My head was so fuzzy and i get really confused or lack of memory or something when that happens. So when i saw him looking at me funny after i put in the date, i explained the fuzzy thing. According to him, he believes that some of my parts are co con and have been listening in on the appointments, but who knows? I went on to tell him (this was at the end of the session in about to walk out the door, and as always i accidentally kept him 30 minutes after our scheduled time) i told him about the times that i feel like im being pulled away and in that time, it gets hard to talk or remember or say anything at all so he Says "dont get too complex on me just yet" what the heck? I brought that up with my general practitioner and he was confused by it as well. But the fuzzy head t thinks is in relation to my other parts. And he could be right. I always get headaches before and after my appointments with him, than about 5 minutes into the session and the fuzzy part kicks in. But the headache goes away. Once im out of the office, the fuzz goes away. Although i do get it other times as well (like right now) but in the fuzz, its so hard to remember certain things, and i even say things i normally wouldnt, than i have a very vague memory of it, unless its something that concerns or confuses me. Idk whats going on.

I only know of one part that has a name, becky. There may or may not be others but is it possivle to have parts with no names? And how do they get their names? I only know about becky because of my family, often though, i just dont feel like i have a name, my own given name sounds so foreign when people call me that. So how do parts get a name? I think my t thinks im a paet and not the host... but dont prts have names? He says im the front man(woman) that is out most of the time because people like me. Then went on to tell me about a 300 pound old patient of his who thought he was 12, and his body was really 30. He compared that mans 12 yer old part to me. How do i know if im a host or a part and does it really matter?

I do want to get better so instead of denying, im trying to learn. I fight with all my might to stay out and not let others come out, but i know to heal they have to be heard. So im trying to learn to hopefully build trust and a better understanding within

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by PurpleFlyingMonkeys

Thank you gretta, youre always such a big help. I havent discussed my concerns with t about the contradictions but did mention the fuzzy feeling when i was in there. I had to write out the date on a paper and was pretty convinced it was may the 7th when i was trying tovfill out the paper, but it didnt sound right. So i asked him "its may right?" He says "i dont know, what day is it?" And i said may 7th right? I thought it was. My head was so fuzzy and i get really confused or lack of memory or something when that happens. So when i saw him looking at me funny after i put in the date, i explained the fuzzy thing. According to him, he believes that some of my parts are co con and have been listening in on the appointments, but who knows? I went on to tell him (this was at the end of the session in about to walk out the door, and as always i accidentally kept him 30 minutes after our scheduled time) i told him about the times that i feel like im being pulled away and in that time, it gets hard to talk or remember or say anything at all so he Says "dont get too complex on me just yet" what the heck? I brought that up with my general practitioner and he was confused by it as well. But the fuzzy head t thinks is in relation to my other parts. And he could be right. I always get headaches before and after my appointments with him, than about 5 minutes into the session and the fuzzy part kicks in. But the headache goes away. Once im out of the office, the fuzz goes away. Although i do get it other times as well (like right now) but in the fuzz, its so hard to remember certain things, and i even say things i normally wouldnt, than i have a very vague memory of it, unless its something that concerns or confuses me. Idk whats going on.

I only know of one part that has a name, becky. There may or may not be others but is it possivle to have parts with no names? And how do they get their names? I only know about becky because of my family, often though, i just dont feel like i have a name, my own given name sounds so foreign when people call me that. So how do parts get a name? I think my t thinks im a paet and not the host... but dont prts have names? He says im the front man(woman) that is out most of the time because people like me. Then went on to tell me about a 300 pound old patient of his who thought he was 12, and his body was really 30. He compared that mans 12 yer old part to me. How do i know if im a host or a part and does it really matter?

I do want to get better so instead of denying, im trying to learn. I fight with all my might to stay out and not let others come out, but i know to heal they have to be heard. So im trying to learn to hopefully build trust and a better understanding within

yes it is possible to have parts that have no names. According to my treatment providers I had many less formed parts that had no names.. they were bits of feelings example the one I call "Red" in my posting here had no name. I call that one Red here on PC because I would literally see the color red, in anger before I would become that part. that one never actually had a name and my therapist and I did not believe in naming the un named alters for fear of causing my system of alters into creating false alters. I put a name on that one here on PC just for posting so that everyone is clear on which alter Im talking about. here in NY where I live and work less formed alters are called "fragments" meaning bits and pieces of memories, bits and pieces of feelings/emotions, ...

AT the moment I dont remember ever feeling like I was being "pulled away" before I was integrated, but I do now that I am integrated get the feeling of pulling away, getting pulled away, and also fading out(this one happened both before integration and after as did. sinking down, or back,these others also happen now that Im integrated.) my treatment providers calls my feeling like this ..Depersonalization. a reaction to my anxiety. Im on medication and that seems to help a bit with my anxiety so that I dont get pulled away, fade out, sink down ...

I cant remember if you are on anxiety meds but if not maybe its something to consider trying to see if it helps.

host vs part does it matter... sometimes it does and sometimes it doesnt. for me it did because it helped my treatment providers to understand which ones (my parts) were reacting/doing because that was their purpose/job and which one was the person that was in therapy. kind of like when two separate people enter a medical doctors office the doctor needs to know which one of the two is there for the treatment and the other is there to supply moral support, a hand to hold, help them cope. my treatment providers needed that distinction between me and my alters in order to best help me gain control over my problems. Most of the time for me I had no problem telling which was me and which were my parts. I was the one born to this body, I was the one that dissociated when my problems got too hard to handle. my alters were not born to this body, they came into being because I could not handle the trauma I went through.

I know though it it hard for some to differentiate between their self and their alters.. when I encounter this type of situation my suggestion is always the same...give it time, as things become clearer and through therapy and healing it will become clear which is the alter and which is the host.

I had a few treatment providers that didnt believe in the diagnostic label, in those cases we didnt work on trying to get them to understand and all that stress and aggravation, we just thought ok they have a right to their own opinions, that doesnt change the fact that I have this symptom and that one so lets work from the point of view of helping me with my symptoms. for me thats all that really mattered if therapy and my psychiatrist could help me to feel less anxious, more in control, teach me how to not fade out by teaching me how to ground myself hey Im all for not working on the diagnostic label and working instead on my symptoms.. and for me it worked. for me getting, having, or needing the label didnt matter, taking care of my symptoms mattered.

[Gr3tta]

Everybody's experience is different. It is definitely possible to have parts that have no names. Sometimes parts may name themselves, name each other, or be named by a host part. Sometimes parts will all identify with the same name, but may identify as Three (years old,) Twelve, Nineteen, etc. Sometimes parts will have descriptive names, like The Baby, The Angry Man, the Protective Woman, The Professional, etc. Sometimes parts do not have any sort of true, developed personality of their own. They may exist only to contain one particular memory, or to do one particular task. Outside of those duties, they have no other interactions with other parts or the outside world, and have therefore not developed into what is typically thought of as a separate personality.

I read a really awesome book that was very meaningful to me. It is a personal account of the struggles and healing process of someone with DID. It's called The Sum of My Parts, by Olga Trujillo. The first part of the book contains some very graphic scenes of abuse, so you may want to skim, or skip altogether that portion of the book. At the beginning of the book it warns of this, and makes a suggestion of what chapter to start on in order to skip the more triggering portion. The second half chronicles her understanding of the way her mind works, the ways that her parts helped her, and her integration. She explained and described it all in a very different way than I have heard DID described before.

Sometimes I think people diagnosed with DID try to mold themselves into their idea of what DID is "supposed" to be, but there really isn't any "supposed" to. Whatever you did to survive was the right thing for your mind to do. The fact that you're still here is the proof.

[pegasus]

You might find it helpful to write down things in a notebook immediately following therapy so you start to get some idea of what happened in session. Gradually overtime you will find that you can learn about the other parts this way. Some parts only come out in therapy and then don't appear or you have no awareness of that part. It is definitely not about lying but about not knowing what other parts are doing or what they have been through. I hope this makes sense.

[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

Thank you gretta and pegasus, you both have cleared up many questions. Pegasus, that is a great idea. I already bring my journal with me, might as well put it to use. I know systems are different and parts all have different purposes but is it possible that parts know what they are and know eachother within without the main part out knowing? Often lately, and when im under stress i hear kind of a conversation within, people talking to one another, yet never directly to me really. It can be complete nonsense too like i hear a girl say "i cant wait to go to the mall! When are we going?" Then a man replies "you dont need to go to the mall" blah blah blah, just talking that makes no sense. That was the last conversation i heard a few days ago. But we dont have a mall within 40 miles, and no plans of going to the mall. Its really rather confusing and frustrating because this kind of talk keeps me awake at night. Ive heard all different kinds of conversations, especially in the past month since my abusive brother moved back to town. Its gotten so bad it seems like an auditorium of people are all screaming at the same time, but never at me, always at eachother. This doesnt happen as often though and very rarely does any voice direct anything at me. Is this common? For them to have communication but not me?

[pegasus]

Yes, in a nutshell. There can be parts that are close that know about things that you don't know. Different parts can be triggered by different things or the same things! Confusing and frustrating at times but gradually it will start to make sense as the jigsaw pieces come together.

[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

Thank you gretta, pegasus and amanda. You all have been so informative. I would like to say that I understand more, but now I'm even more confused lol. So if they don't have to have names, or even full on personalities, only those which hold memories, how do you seperate the DID from another dissasociative diagnosis? Blackouts aren't only part of DID, and neither is changing attitude/personality during those correct? That could all be dissociation correct?
Like let's say a girl is normally conservative (yes I'm talking about myself lol) and she's walking down the hallway going to her room and her mother yells "What did you say to me?!?!" and she is confused, not thinking she said anything. But the mother claims the girl just cussed her out, although the girl never swears and thinks the mother is falsely accusing her of doing so because she doesn't remember. How do you differentiate in this case memory issues or dissociative disorders non DID from actual DID?
They can have names, they don't have to have names. They serve a purpose but don't have to serve any more purpose than holding a memory? So do you gain alters during each traumatic event? When an alter comes out to take the memory when something terrible is happening, do they stay out or do they stay until it gets too much for them and than they split again? Is that how it works? Al systems are different I know, but that kind of makes things more confusing.
Thanks again for all of the replies, sorry for asking so much but thank you for such wonderful replies. I'm just trying to learn to kind of ease my mind on the DID diagnosis and try to understand systems in general to hopefully better understand this system in here

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by PurpleFlyingMonkeys

Thank you gretta, pegasus and amanda. You all have been so informative. I would like to say that I understand more, but now I'm even more confused lol. So if they don't have to have names, or even full on personalities, only those which hold memories, how do you seperate the DID from another dissasociative diagnosis? Blackouts aren't only part of DID, and neither is changing attitude/personality during those correct? That could all be dissociation correct?
Like let's say a girl is normally conservative (yes I'm talking about myself lol) and she's walking down the hallway going to her room and her mother yells "What did you say to me?!?!" and she is confused, not thinking she said anything. But the mother claims the girl just cussed her out, although the girl never swears and thinks the mother is falsely accusing her of doing so because she doesn't remember. How do you differentiate in this case memory issues or dissociative disorders non DID from actual DID?
They can have names, they don't have to have names. They serve a purpose but don't have to serve any more purpose than holding a memory? So do you gain alters during each traumatic event? When an alter comes out to take the memory when something terrible is happening, do they stay out or do they stay until it gets too much for them and than they split again? Is that how it works? Al systems are different I know, but that kind of makes things more confusing.
Thanks again for all of the replies, sorry for asking so much but thank you for such wonderful replies. I'm just trying to learn to kind of ease my mind on the DID diagnosis and try to understand systems in general to hopefully better understand this system in here

Originally Posted by PurpleFlyingMonkeys

how do you seperate the DID from another dissasociative diagnosis?

Im a bit confused by your question. here where I live in NY State the word **dissasociative*** is not a disorder... here the term disassociate means to disengage from something...example when I quit a job it is said I have dis associated from that job, last night I dis associated from a friend I was visiting with meaning I went home.

From the wording of your post Im going to take a guess you may have meant the word **dissociatiave*** which is the name of a group of mental disorders like dissociative amnesia, depersonalization.... please correct me if my guess is wrong because I deal with those two events (Disassociating vs Dissociating) in very different ways.

Using the term **Dissociative** disorder my answer to your question is I differentiate between the dissociative disorders the same way my treatment providers do...according to the diagnostic criteria for each of them.

example before I was integrated if my treatment providers and I are talking about my going out and getting drunk and not remember doing so we know we are talking about my DID symptoms because DID is the only dissociative disorder that carries the symptoms of

alters taking over,
a special kind of memory loss where the host does not remember but the alters do,
and no other medical or mental problem is the cause of my memory loss/time loss and alters taking control.

if we are talking about my feeling spacy, my feeling like Im numb we know know we are discussing my depersonalization disorder problems

If we are talking about how sometimes I feel like the world has gone crazy, Im fine but the world feels like a strange place even though Im in a familiar location and familiar people around me and doing a normal thing I usually do. my treatment providers and I know we are talking about my derealization problem.

If we are talking about the time I was under a huge amount of stress and ended up in some other town, no alters took control, it was just the stress that caused me to dissociate/not remember what I was doing/who I was, how I got where I was, my treatment providers and I know we are talking about my dissociative amnesia problems.

even though many mental disorders share some of the same symptoms, each mental disorder has definitive symptoms/diagnostic criteria that's all their own. that's how my treatment providers and I know which problem belongs to which disorder/disease with my mental and physical health.. we knock out the shared symptoms and use the unique symptoms to that mental or physical health problem to point us in the right direction.

Originally Posted by PurpleFlyingMonkeys

Blackouts aren't only part of DID, and neither is changing attitude/personality during those correct? That could all be dissociation correct?

correct these symptoms are shared by many mental and physical health problems not only dissociative ones, which is why I always caution people not to jump to conclusions, and that its very dangerous to try and self diagnose.. Just because one has black outs/time loss/ a change in attitude/change in personality does ***not*** say you have a dissociative disorder or any other mental disorder. it just says you have symptoms that may be bothering you and may need to be addressed with your own treatment providers. for some people having all these same symptoms is completely normal for others it isnt. the only people that can tell anyone for sure if they have a dissociative disorder and which one are the persons own treatment providers.

Originally Posted by PurpleFlyingMonkeys

Like let's say a girl is normally conservative (yes I'm talking about myself lol) and she's walking down the hallway going to her room and her mother yells "What did you say to me?!?!" and she is confused, not thinking she said anything. But the mother claims the girl just cussed her out, although the girl never swears and thinks the mother is falsely accusing her of doing so because she doesn't remember. How do you differentiate in this case memory issues or dissociative disorders non DID from actual DID?

you don't. this kind of thing is not necessarily a DID symptom and on the other end of things its not necessarily just associated with DID.

theres a saying around the crisis center where I work...the saying "oh did I say that aloud", some people here call it the Freudian slip..

even normal people dont remember every detail of conversations and end up with that "oh did I say that out loud?" times of not remembering if they said something or just thought it or blurted something out and not realize they said anything at all

here where I live and work we dont immediately think someone has DID, dissociative disorders or any medial or mental illness based on this kind of situation because this kind of thing is a pretty normal thing to happen, people do sometimes say things they dont remember saying and do things they dont remember doing...its other accompanying symptoms that point to a person having a/any mental disorder

Originally Posted by PurpleFlyingMonkeys

They can have names, they don't have to have names. They serve a purpose but don't have to serve any more purpose than holding a memory? So do you gain alters during each traumatic event? When an alter comes out to take the memory when something terrible is happening, do they stay out or do they stay until it gets too much for them and than they split again? Is that how it works? Al systems are different I know, but that kind of makes things more confusing.

yes its different for everyone.. everyone has their own internal system... how they cope, how they respond, what they need to survive.. theres no real one way to be DID. therfore theres no rel one way to answer these questions other than to say ..

some people do gain alters after each traumatic event, some do not.
Some peoples internal system is such where their alters do stay out for long periods of time and others dont.

some peoples alters do split and some peoples alters dont split.

yes it is confusing. which is why each treatment provider here where I live and work treat each person according to what their own problems are. my therapist treats the problems I have according to my problems she doesnt treat client X's problems when working with me. an easier example my wife and I had colds together.. I had the headache stuffy nose and my wife had the sneezing and cough.. my doctor treated me for my headache and stuffy nose and treated her for her sneezing and cough. he didnt treat her for my headache and didnt treat me for her cough.

figuring out and treating mental disorders is confusing but treatment providers are trained to understand the differences and treat each of their clients individually.

your treatment providers can talk with you and explain which of your symptoms belongs with what disorders/diseases and why the type of treatment program they are doing with you.

my suggestion everyone is different so it might be best not to try and compare you to everyone else that has DID it will give you headaches and major confusion and stress you dont need. how ever your DID is, thats how you are supposed to be. and things will get clearer and less confusing as you continue working with your treatment providers.

[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

Thank you amandalouise. I'm not very good at the relies so I'll work with what I can... My question "how do you differentiate DID from the other dissicotiave diagnosis" meaning how do you know, if some DIDers don't have to have names for their parts and things, how do you know it's DID and not dissociative amnesia, fugue (that's one right) or DDNOS? Where is the line drawn when many of the symptoms of DID can be any number of DDs?I'm wondering this because I'm trying to understand why the other dissociative disorders were ruled out, when as far as I know I only have one part that goes by a name, and I believe that name was given to that part by my family, not because the part came about with its own name. I'm not sure if they have names. But I do know that I have male parts and female parts. They do all seem to hold different functions, but when they come out it's more for handling the task or trauma at hand, as opposed to doing their own thing as I read online numerous times. They come when there is a lot of trauma, they come when I'm having a mental break down but have to get through work, they come when there is something I can not do and that part is better at it than myself. But only those who know me very closely or myself can tell when it's not "me" out but another part of me. Could this not also be a different dissociative disorder? I know treatment providers can tell me this the best, but right now I'm looking at every inch of the dissociative spectrum, I'm trying to learn myself and I know my system is different than the rest, but there has to be some reason so many therapists keep turning to the DID, and I'm trying to learn why.

So, if you can blackout and do things other than what you would normally do or say, and you don't have to have a name when you are out, or you could even all go by the same name as mentioned above, how do you tell when it's an alter and not dissociative amnesia? No one has ever mentioned how the diagnostic criteria works really or why they come up with the conclusions. So if you can, being under stress, black out and do a million things acting like a different person, how do you know if it's an alter or dissociative amnesia? I know it's different person to person but is there anything that sets apart alters from amnesia if names aren't what's the cause? I'm so confused lol. I want to know why they think it's DID and not any of the rest, I want to know why my system seems to be more confusing than I'd prefer and I'd like to know why every therapist thinks I'm a "tough case" and "complex".

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by PurpleFlyingMonkeys

Thank you amandalouise. I'm not very good at the relies so I'll work with what I can... My question "how do you differentiate DID from the other dissicotiave diagnosis" meaning how do you know, if some DIDers don't have to have names for their parts and things, how do you know it's DID and not dissociative amnesia, fugue (that's one right) or DDNOS? Where is the line drawn when many of the symptoms of DID can be any number of DDs?I'm wondering this because I'm trying to understand why the other dissociative disorders were ruled out, when as far as I know I only have one part that goes by a name, and I believe that name was given to that part by my family, not because the part came about with its own name. I'm not sure if they have names. But I do know that I have male parts and female parts. They do all seem to hold different functions, but when they come out it's more for handling the task or trauma at hand, as opposed to doing their own thing as I read online numerous times. They come when there is a lot of trauma, they come when I'm having a mental break down but have to get through work, they come when there is something I can not do and that part is better at it than myself. But only those who know me very closely or myself can tell when it's not "me" out but another part of me. Could this not also be a different dissociative disorder? I know treatment providers can tell me this the best, but right now I'm looking at every inch of the dissociative spectrum, I'm trying to learn myself and I know my system is different than the rest, but there has to be some reason so many therapists keep turning to the DID, and I'm trying to learn why.

So, if you can blackout and do things other than what you would normally do or say, and you don't have to have a name when you are out, or you could even all go by the same name as mentioned above, how do you tell when it's an alter and not dissociative amnesia? No one has ever mentioned how the diagnostic criteria works really or why they come up with the conclusions. So if you can, being under stress, black out and do a million things acting like a different person, how do you know if it's an alter or dissociative amnesia? I know it's different person to person but is there anything that sets apart alters from amnesia if names aren't what's the cause? I'm so confused lol. I want to know why they think it's DID and not any of the rest, I want to know why my system seems to be more confusing than I'd prefer and I'd like to know why every therapist thinks I'm a "tough case" and "complex".

Thanks for clarifying.. lets see if I can help make some sense out of this for you..

diagnostic criteria is what the treatment providers go by.. thats what and where the fine line is that says what each dissociative disorder is. every mental disorder has their own diagnostic criteria.

for example from the DSM website the current criteria thats used in diagnosing whether something is a DID problem is

A. The presence of two or more distinct identities or personality states (each with its own relatively enduring pattern of perceiving, relating to, and thinking about the environment and self).

B. At least two of these identities or personality states recurrently take control of the person's behavior.

C. Inability to recall important personal information that is too extensive to be explained by ordinary forgetfulness.

D. The disturbance is not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., blackouts or chaotic behavior during Alcohol Intoxication) or a general medical condition (e.g., complex partial seizures). Note: In children, the symptoms are not attributable to imaginary playmates or other fantasy play.

here in NY if the problem isnt one of the above criteria then its not a DID symptom.

now the current dissociative amnesia here is what the criteria is for that...

A. The predominant disturbance is one or more episodes of inability to recall important personal information, usually of a traumatic or stressful nature, that is too extensive to be explained by ordinary forgetfulness.

B. The disturbance does not occur exclusively during the course of Dissociative Identity Disorder, Dissociative Fugue, Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, Acute Stress Disorder, or Somatization Disorder and is not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication) or a neurological or other general medical condition (e.g., Amnestic Disorder Due to Head Trauma).

C. The symptoms cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

this is where you are trying to figure out...the two are sharing the same symptom (DID letter C and Dissociative amnesia's letter A) how do you know which one it is?

treatment providers also look at the rest of the criteria to see what fits and what doesnt....

DID has alters that take over, dissociative amnesia doesnt... so they check to see if the reason for the memory loss is because an alter took over or not..if no alter took over then its a dissociative amnesia problem not a DID problem.. if an alter took over then its a DID problem not a dissociative amnesia problem.

does that make it easier to understand?

now the next step... DDNOS comes in to play when you dont fit any dissociative disorder diagnostic criteria completely...

you have some dissociative symptoms but not all of them that will fit you into one dissociative disorder.

I dont know why this or that dissociative disorder was ruled out for you. only your treatment providers can say how and why you were diagnosed the way you were, or not diagnosed with this dissociative disorder instead of that one.

Originally Posted by PurpleFlyingMonkeys

how do you tell when it's an alter and not dissociative amnesia?

in general...the only way to find that out is when an alter tells you or your treatment providers what happened while you were not aware..

Here in NY USA treatment providers cant diagnose DID unless alters are taking control and talk with them, so they know whether its DID or dissociative amnesia. Alters took control =DID, no alters =Dissociative amnesia.

my suggestion is talk with your treatment providers they can look in your files and explain to you why and how you were diagnosed the way you were/are.

[such is life...]

Originally Posted by PurpleFlyingMonkeys

Thank you amandalouise. I'm not very good at the relies so I'll work with what I can... My question "how do you differentiate DID from the other dissicotiave diagnosis" meaning how do you know, if some DIDers don't have to have names for their parts and things, how do you know it's DID and not dissociative amnesia, fugue (that's one right) or DDNOS? Where is the line drawn when many of the symptoms of DID can be any number of DDs?I'm wondering this because I'm trying to understand why the other dissociative disorders were ruled out, when as far as I know I only have one part that goes by a name, and I believe that name was given to that part by my family, not because the part came about with its own name. I'm not sure if they have names. But I do know that I have male parts and female parts. They do all seem to hold different functions, but when they come out it's more for handling the task or trauma at hand, as opposed to doing their own thing as I read online numerous times. They come when there is a lot of trauma, they come when I'm having a mental break down but have to get through work, they come when there is something I can not do and that part is better at it than myself. But only those who know me very closely or myself can tell when it's not "me" out but another part of me. Could this not also be a different dissociative disorder? I know treatment providers can tell me this the best, but right now I'm looking at every inch of the dissociative spectrum, I'm trying to learn myself and I know my system is different than the rest, but there has to be some reason so many therapists keep turning to the DID, and I'm trying to learn why.

So, if you can blackout and do things other than what you would normally do or say, and you don't have to have a name when you are out, or you could even all go by the same name as mentioned above, how do you tell when it's an alter and not dissociative amnesia? No one has ever mentioned how the diagnostic criteria works really or why they come up with the conclusions. So if you can, being under stress, black out and do a million things acting like a different person, how do you know if it's an alter or dissociative amnesia? I know it's different person to person but is there anything that sets apart alters from amnesia if names aren't what's the cause? I'm so confused lol. I want to know why they think it's DID and not any of the rest, I want to know why my system seems to be more confusing than I'd prefer and I'd like to know why every therapist thinks I'm a "tough case" and "complex".

Purpleflyingmonkeys....I am smiling at your statement of being a"tough Case" and "complex" because I was told the same thing.I'm not a t or psydoc....but it sounds like you have parts....I'll go out on a limb here try some of these things to see if you get an " internal" response. Ask in side ( in your head) when you hear the voices talking to each other say" Hi my name is....SuzzyQ what is yours? How old are you? or in your journal or a piece of paper write out the questions and see if one of ( your people) lol....Thats what I call my alters..."my people" writes down an answer. Sometime s...if you have one with out a name give them one or let them chose a name. Some of my alters dont have a name....name but a descriptive "name" For example I have a part called The Left hand.....his sole purpose is sports ...The Tall Lady because when she is out we feel like we are 6 feet tall ( I am only 5 foot two...and a half inches tall....I have a protector called The Colonel... ( he looks like an officer in the air force)he protects many little ones( alters who are young)...any way it's hard when you get a diagnosis that is pretty rare and sometimes mis understood....and you cant put yourself in a d.i.d box of "one size fits all" We have d.i.d as a way of coping with childhood trauma....the core( the person that was the "original personality) had to split to handle trauma.Every body has a unique System that has helped you cope and survive ....so you can come here to pc and talk with "us" lol....life

[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

Thank you suchislife, i needed that smile. Ive tried the journaling approach and come up empty handed. The only time i get anything in writing is when im not trying
t wants me to keep journalling to see if different handwritings come up. But they havent lately. This system is good at hiding, even from myself. They dont seem to come out when asked to, they have a mind of their own and only do when they want or need to. For the voices, my sleep has been so horrible from it and from anxiety so lately ive been trying to talk to them (as in thinking this)"can we please keep it down tonight? The body needs rest and can not get it with all of the talk going on" this seems to work as most nights are silent now. Can just thinking allow them to hear you or do you have to say it out loud?

Ive been ignoring the talk, i try to at least. Im so sleep deprived and only hear it really when i am trying to sleep. Ive never considered joining the conversation and asking questions. Perhaps tonight i will give permission (if thats what you want to call it) for the talk and will try to ask questions.

For my parts, i often hear a man. A younger teenager grown woman and a few others. P
one girl part seems confused about everything, doesnt know name age or anything, all i ever hear about or from is "i dont know" perhaps when i am hearing the talk i should talk back. But they seem to hide even from me. It seems like the main purpose of this system is to hide it and boy are they good. But boy does it cause conflicting ideas and makes me feel like i am bonkers

[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

And one more question, how do you recover the memories? Do you partially relive them when you recall them or does a part come out, tell the t and than you come back and the t tells you? T has been mentioning the last few weeks we need to go deeper. If i have to, id rather start with a night when i was 14, to know if it was one or both men. I dont know how i will handle knowing but im just not ready to know what was done when i was just a child. Whats the general way to recover those memories or does it come after being cocon? Id like to know what im getting in to before i go deeper

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by PurpleFlyingMonkeys

And one more question, how do you recover the memories? Do you partially relive them when you recall them or does a part come out, tell the t and than you come back and the t tells you? T has been mentioning the last few weeks we need to go deeper. If i have to, id rather start with a night when i was 14, to know if it was one or both men. I dont know how i will handle knowing but im just not ready to know what was done when i was just a child. Whats the general way to recover those memories or does it come after being cocon? Id like to know what im getting in to before i go deeper

there is no general, typical or one set way to recover memories..

examples

for me what works is doing nothing..lol by that I mean i dont do anything special to make the memories come to me, I just go about my normal routine and they come to me when ever they come to me.

I know someone who recovers his memories through his artwork,

I know someone else that recovers their memories through journalism.

I know someone who recovers their memories looking through family photographs.

I know someone who recovers their memories during therapy techniques like EDMR,

I know some people who have recovered memories through dance interpretation,

some even recover memories by going to a chiropractor or masseuse

one person I know uses sports like going out side with the hockey stick and puck and while hitting the puck around the ice rink she recovers/heals from her past memories.

everyone is different so everyones healing journey like recovering memories is different.

just take your time and continue working with your treatment provider and the best way that works for you will become clear to you.