Integration

I can only speak for myself.

I read the initial paragraphs (I didn't come close to reading it all).

I still choose to use the word healing because that's what it felt like that that's what I'd been striving for. How cool that I recognized it for what it was at some point. I thought it was this HUGE experience (with possibly a marching band or something) consisting of much loss and did not want that type of "supposed healing". When I realized MY healing, I realized also that it had been happening for over a year.

That's how little insight, introspection and awareness I had most of the time. I think mainly I didn't recognize it because I expected to feel massive loss of some kind and there was NONE...none. There was no loss and much gain. This was NOT a choice I'd made but a natural progression that kinda slipped up on me...in a good way.

To make the color purple, we must have red and blue. The red and blue does not disappear, but combines/blends. Red and blue both are still seen in the purple. Purple can't exist without the base colors, in fact. I show "purple" alot now.

All that said, I still have a few base colors here. I can't help but wonder now, and look forward to, the color they might show when "blended" IF that occurs and feels ok.

And, of course, if I show alot of purple interlaced with other bright colors for forevermore, that's fine by me too! It works! I like my life. I'm so appreciative...bottom line.

KD

(((((((((((Kimmy)))))))) I love all the words that you use to describe you so you hang right on to them. Sme people paint pictures with paint you do it with words.

Hang in there.

I have a friend who is DID/MPD and when one of her alters heals she doesn't call it integration she calls it "going home to Father"...

Yup therapists arent the only ones that no longer use the word integration when doing the integration process. I don't think I ever used the actual word - integration - with SKR. To me the integration process was just a part of what I called awareness therapy of being aware of what was going on around me and during therapy remaining aware of what was going on around me - my therapists voice and so on at the same times as being aware of the memories. And I don't remember LL and I actually using the word - integration - either. We are just continueing on with how SKR and I did things.

See post on DID and supressed mem.