[lucidity11]

Does knowing you dissociate make it easier to dissociate? Or am I just more aware I am dissociating? I can't figure it out. I am under some stress, that will pass, but right now I am under a lot of stress. My mind feels like it's spread out on a table and everyone is out. I have had a headache all day. I am having paranoid thoughts and feel light headed. I know my thoughts are not based in fact. Can this type of stuff happen because of stress? Has anyone had similar experience? I am going to go to bed now to see if I can just sleep through it and wake up better. My head is spinning.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by lucidity11

Does knowing you dissociate make it easier to dissociate? Or am I just more aware I am dissociating? I can't figure it out. I am under some stress, that will pass, but right now I am under a lot of stress. My mind feels like it's spread out on a table and everyone is out. I have had a headache all day. I am having paranoid thoughts and feel light headed. I know my thoughts are not based in fact. Can this type of stuff happen because of stress? Has anyone had similar experience? I am going to go to bed now to see if I can just sleep through it and wake up better. My head is spinning.

here in New york (usa) dissociation is a reaction to a positive or negative trigger. what that means is something (trigger) will happen to cause a person to dissociate (feel numb, spaced out, disconnected)

for me some of the things that cause me to feel this way is having a great time with friends, stress, anxiety, being sick, not eating correctly, eating too much, not getting enough sleep, having a bad dream..... my point for me there are many good and bad things that cause me to dissociate.

only you and your treatment providers can say whether stress is a trigger for your dissociating.

my suggestion if this continues to bother contact your or a treatment provider who can help you to discover what your dissociative triggers are.

as for knowing about them causing more dissociation ... for me no, the more I know about what causes me to dissociate the better I can take care of my self and use my treatment plan options like breathing, grounding and others that enable me to re ground back to the present moment.

again only you and your treatment providers can say if being informed about dissociation is causing you to become dissociative or become more dissociative.

[BrazenApogee]

I know I dissociate, and try to stop it most times with some success. Stress makes it harder.

[Luce]

Stress makes it harder for us for sure. We are experiencing some stress atm and we are dissociating a lot - which isn't usual for us, we're generally pretty stable these days, even when stressed. I guess it's the type of stress that makes the difference.
During this period of stress we have felt much like you describe - headachy, floaty and light headed, generally 'laid bare' and having lots of dissociative symptoms, including losing time again.
Sounds like a good idea for you to get some sleep. Us too! I hope you rest well. General self care stuff definitely won't hurt you and might even help some.

[kecanoe]

For me, knowing that I dissociate made me more aware about how often I dissociate. And, stress definitely makes me more prone to dissociation.

[finding_my_way]

for me, it really just depends. sometimes, stress makes dissociation happen more. sometimes, it is more trigger related (like the last few months) even without stress.

i am not always aware it is happening because it can differ a lot. i know it more when it is severe and fast. sometimes i will be kind of mildly/mid range dissociative for a week or so and not even know it until i kind of 'come back' fully. it is really confusing for me. it's like having layers of dissociation, i guess, and just the varying types...some can involve some of the other parts/alters, and some doesn't..so it is all a guessing game for me.

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by finding_my_way

for me, it really just depends. sometimes, stress makes dissociation happen more. sometimes, it is more trigger related (like the last few months) even without stress.


i am not always aware it is happening because it can differ a lot. i know it more when it is severe and fast. sometimes i will be kind of mildly/mid range dissociative for a week or so and not even know it until i kind of 'come back' fully. it is really confusing for me. it's like having layers of dissociation, i guess, and just the varying types...some can involve some of the other parts/alters, and some doesn't..so it is all a guessing game for me.

Wow!! You just said it all in a nutshell for me. I've not been able to describe it so accurately. Thank you!

There are those times that I have been triggered and not realized it. It basically feels like my feet have been clipped out from under me without even realizing it, until like you said, I "come back" fully.

THIS COULD BE A TRIGGER - -

Case in point. I was in my trail that I run/walk on. It's been really rainy here and there has been a lot of water closer to the trail than usual. The week before, I had seen several snakes and was trying to stay "there" to watch out for them. I tend to "go away" in my earphones with my music when I'm there, so I was trying hard not to do that. I didn't succeed and zoned out. Next thing I know, I snap to and look down. I'm stepping over one and everything past that point is fragments. I do remember looking at it, it's head was oval shaped so it was not poisonous. That's about it. A couple of days later my foot is burning and I look at it and there a two punctures on the bottom side of my foot. My mind starts spinning. Did it bite me and I can't fit the pieces back together? I don't understand. Is this real? Did this really happen. How do the pieces I remember fit back together??

Hope that wasn't too detailed or graphic. It's just happened last week and still kind of freaking me out.

[ThisWayOut]

Fear can be a huge trigger for me, so I totally get what you mean... I also am more aware of my dissociation at times, otherness is harder to pinpoint.

For what is worth, most non-venemous snakes leave a bite that looks like a scrape, or one u/v inside the other. Venemous ones would at least leave swelling and itching...

[TrailRunner14]

Thank you. Still trying to sort it out.

It did burn and itch when my attention was brought to it. So not sure right now, with what I'm realizing, is it a real thing or a brain thing. That sounds so crazy!

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I'm very prone to dossociation to the point of a switch depending on the trigger and coping skill needed which is about everything.

Sometimes I'll react to a trigger and daze out without switching which I tend to try to find my way back asap (grounding). I was doing this before I even knew what it was.

Now that I know that I'm a dissociating nut, it's more obvious whereas before I thought this was just normal and everyone experienced this, but I knew that I was off a little bit and didn't know why.

The way I see it, the amount of times dissociating and switching remains the same- we each have a job to do everyday faithfully. We are just more intune with our newly discovered system.

[ThisWayOut]

I have times I struggle to put the pieces back together. Sometimes my dissociation feels like a dream. Other times I have no idea I checked out till days have gone by and I remember nothing. Usually, I find that out if my wife gets frustrated with me for not remembering something we talked about our something I should have done.

Is there a way to find out what actually happened? Can maybe someone around you help figure it out? If a venemous snake did bite you and you got a dose of venom, you seem to be doing ok, so it wasn't something you are allergic to - You probably don't need anti-venom, so that's a plus. But if the injury is burning, it may be in need of some first aid, or even a doctor's visit to rule out infection... that leaves you with piecing back together the rest of the events from your run. Some of that may not get figured out, but maybe you can work out more of it? Would writing it down help? I was having trouble piecing together things from the other day, and my t had me write out a chart- thing. She listed categories for emotions, sensations, thoughts, events, & people around me. There were a few layer's of the thoughts, emotions, and sensations piece. I filed them in, skipping around based on what I could remember. Eventually, we were able to piece the morning together. Would something like that help in your case?

[TrailRunner14]

That is a great idea!! That's kind of how my dissociated memories seem to come back to me. In pieces. I haven't thought about making a time line. I think that would really help!!

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[TrailRunner14]

Still trying to sort that event together. There is no peace in the question. I do know what I see on the outside of my foot.

Very curious for reality

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You know, just by the fact that I know that I'm like not always there, I'd be too overly concerned about injuries...especially big ones.

I look at my arms and legs and I don't even know where most of the bumps, bruises and scratches come from, but a major wound- I'd be freaking...like a spider bite from no where I got once. I knew the Carpenter did some work but the bite was dissociated until I looked at the silver dollar sized purple bump. With fang marks in it. I was scared because I had no idea where it came from. I just knew it itched.

I hope that you got it treated and gotten well.

[Shaly78]

Well, I would reiterate my therapist thoughts feelings just thinking of an example from group therapy before I told about dissociating. I couldn't or make the group leader understand how much dissociating or not talking was so hard, in fact it was rather embarrassing. If you want to not waste your gas money try that so at least it seems like your contributing to your own healing, personalize with your address and person's/yourself involved that your trying to associate for what the topic is at the moment.

[Lost_in_the_woods]

I skimmed a lot of the responses so I think I'm kinda behind, but I've been thinking about ur OP question lucidity n I think it's 50/50. Like knowing we dissociate def have learned how to use it when stuck in situation that I don't wanna be, but then situations that I wanna be in I can end up just blacking out too sometimes. So idk. Guess cuz it's a defense mechanism knowing u can do it then u use it but other parts can use it against u too...not cuz they r being malicious I think back to cuz they r defending themselves or think they r defending me. Cuz we all have different prime purposes and I might not think something is harmful to me but another part sew it as a trigger to them or threat to the whole..I guess that's what the best way I can explain sorry if I'm just repeating what other posters already said... my bad~♦

[lucidity11]

Originally Posted by Lost_in_the_woods

I skimmed a lot of the responses so I think I'm kinda behind, but I've been thinking about ur OP question lucidity n I think it's 50/50. Like knowing we dissociate def have learned how to use it when stuck in situation that I don't wanna be, but then situations that I wanna be in I can end up just blacking out too sometimes. So idk. Guess cuz it's a defense mechanism knowing u can do it then u use it but other parts can use it against u too...not cuz they r being malicious I think back to cuz they r defending themselves or think they r defending me. Cuz we all have different prime purposes and I might not think something is harmful to me but another part sew it as a trigger to them or threat to the whole..I guess that's what the best way I can explain sorry if I'm just repeating what other posters already said... my bad~♦

I think that was very well said. It puts it in an order that helps me to see why a part might appear to be trying to hurt us but may just be reacting to a trigger and thinks it's helping. I think that is why internal communication is so important. maybe the most important. I still have parts who don't know exactly what another part is doing but we all seem to have a collective understanding of who we would like to be as a whole even though we are parts.

[Lost_in_the_woods]

Internal communication can be real tricky. Sometimes ppl you used to talk to alot kinda shut down or shut others out. I think its cuz its in flux always n its hard to come to terms with even tho its been this way our whole life, its still easy to forget that you are not alone or in charge or prime. We are alike in some ways then completely different in every other way that its like new and mind blowing every time i randomly realize " we are all just parts of one" it can almost be like its completely new info except its always been like this. So weird.. idk. Its nern a noisey day n i got a wicked migraine coming on. Need to sleep but sleep has been so random and strange lately, so no one really seems to want to sleep. Someones gotta be the one to just go to bed..guess tonite i got elected for that job.. yay. ~♦