[Luce]

Gah. Seem to have a very distressed little one around at the moment. Keep coming to and finding self rocking, curled up, crying, sucking thumb. I am not able to stay out for long at all.

Hi yall, been gone awhile, but glad to be back.

[Septembersrain]

So I took a long test Thursday to find out more about my condition. I'm super nervous about this upcoming Wednesday.

The results will be in and I have no idea what my therapist will tell me.

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[Luce]

Originally Posted by Septembersrain

So I took a long test Thursday to find out more about my condition. I'm super nervous about this upcoming Wednesday.

The results will be in and I have no idea what my therapist will tell me.

Sent from my iPhone 6s using Tapatalk.

Did you take the SCID? We took the SCID a long while ago. The results were not surprising.

[Luce]

Feeling so very grateful for my ex T. We just finished a skype session with her - the first time we have 'seen' her in 8 years. We desperately needed it, and she was willing to be there for us, even though she is on vacation in Europe.
For the first time in months, we feel calm.

Thank you, T.

Originally Posted by Luce

Feeling so very grateful for my ex T. We just finished a skype session with her - the first time we have 'seen' her in 8 years. We desperately needed it, and she was willing to be there for us, even though she is on vacation in Europe.
For the first time in months, we feel calm.

Thank you, T.

ugg. skype

the work of the devil

but i'm glad she helped you out. we all need someone like that in our lives

we have been feeling ill.

over the weekend, we made the mistake of eating out of date hamburger- and ugg never again

we had no energy at all on friday, a little more saturday, by the afternoon we were feeling sort of normal.. but it's only now we thought about coming on here- just no strength

not really much else- just the usual peace of lost time here and their, the inside arguments, that sort of thing.. tomorrow we are having someone come to install a new chair in our shower, and we so need it- our old chair collapsed and couldn't be fixed.

just hope other insiders don't decide to make it difficult

we should probably go online shopping and get some groceries in

Trying to decide to get to an AA meeting. It's hard to get there when other parts want to drink.

Been very depressed lately....life seems so futile. Its like I have barriers in my mind, barriers in society, barriers at work, barriers at home, and barriers in my body.

It just gets so tiredsome fighting all of it all the time. What hope I did have got put out like a candle in the breeze. Waiting for a moment of instant inspiration to fuel our next drive, any second, minute, or day now.

I just want to add that this whole weekend has been a cryfest. Is it a depressed other? Because I'm never like this. I just want to go blank and stare at nothing which isn't me. I have to fight through this gray cloud to get things done. It's like an in and out thing, but very overwhelming. I had plans but it all just faded away.

[Luce]

Sorry you've had such an awful weekend, AC. Hang in there.

[Luce]

Today I am feeling angry that I don't remember more of the session with t. How can I help if I don't know what was going on? How can I own it if I don't know it? I wish I could have videoed it, saved it, rewatched it, found what I lost the first time.
I just wish I remembered.

[Septembersrain]

Originally Posted by Luce

Did you take the SCID? We took the SCID a long while ago. The results were not surprising.

I have no idea what it's called. It was two tests, one about 570 questions and the other about 175. I've never had these tests done so I'm a little worried. I'm also an ambivert, so I'm hoping I didn't throw off the test with my answers of liking social interactions and isolation. =/

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Originally Posted by Luce

Sorry you've had such an awful weekend, AC. Hang in there.

Thank you sweety, things are much better now. Weekends are the worst while weekdays are busy enough to be distracted from internals.

why did our mother have to try to burn down our old house

we just never understood it

why we have this memory at this time we don't know, but we are having a lot of fire issues right now. perhaps it's trying to tell us something?

we do live alone now and that's good.

our latest amazon package got damaged in transet

we got a refund and we reordered it. hopefully this time it will arive. first time that's happened involving amazon

it was bound too sooner or later though

just ordered 3 faces of eve.

should get it tomorrow..

[lucidity11]

My son came home from the hospital today. None of it feels real to me. It's like at any minute I will wake up and still have my job, my house, my uninjured son, my life back. It's hard to hold on when nothing feels real. It's excruciatingly slow motion and I don't know how to stop it

Originally Posted by lucidity11

My son came home from the hospital today. None of it feels real to me. It's like at any minute I will wake up and still have my job, my house, my uninjured son, my life back. It's hard to hold on when nothing feels real. It's excruciatingly slow motion and I don't know how to stop it

i've not been following this (have i missed something?). why was your son in the hospital.

anyway.. i am so glad he's back home with you

sending healing hugs to both of you

((((((hugs))))))

this afternoon seemed to go pretty fast... did i lose some time?

seriously thinking it might be a possibility

[lucidity11]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

i've not been following this (have i missed something?). why was your son in the hospital.

anyway.. i am so glad he's back home with you

sending healing hugs to both of you

((((((hugs))))))

Thanks for the hugs. My son was in a car accident and was seriously injured. He is home but stills requires another surgery and continuous physical therapy. It is a blessing he is alive and I am thankful. I feel more grounded at this moment but earlier I was not here.

Originally Posted by lucidity11

Thanks for the hugs. My son was in a car accident and was seriously injured. He is home but stills requires another surgery and continuous physical therapy. It is a blessing he is alive and I am thankful. I feel more grounded at this moment but earlier I was not here.

we are here any time if you want to talk about it. (both as a system and as a forum)

[Luce]

why is my ex t so nice? why does she do so much for us? so grateful for ex t.

we had been trying to see current t but she wasn't available then she was but then she had to cancel and then wasnt available again before we go away for a month but she talked to us today and gave us a referral to a trauma t. that is a good thing. we need it. she is gonna check that we make it to trauma t and then we go back to see current t to check in. that is a good thing too. things are not safe. support is good. need support. getting support set up feels safer. grateful for helping ts.

lots of the morning is blurry

can't think of much that happened

debating on 3 faces of eve (if we should watch it or not)

we want too but don't want to be triggered by it

decided to skip 3 faces of eve for now (maybe a later date, who knows)

feeling pretty with it and in the present today

I am new here to this forum. Not diagnosed but some things seem very different for me lately. I think I may belong here.

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