[silver_queen]

So... this is a kind of stupid post really and I am kind of reluctant to make it incase I am making a huge fuss over nothing and imagining stuff but...

Some days... not often... I kind of lose track of what happened in the day. Like this Tuesday. I can't remember what happened and I am fixing on the idea that maybe I went to the supermarket but that might have been Monday. If so what did I do on Tuesday?>?? Even on Wednesday I couldnt remember what I did on Tuesday, and I thought Wednesday was Tuesday. And maybe it is because I'm tired, it is late here, but it is hard for me to remember what I did yesterday (Thursday) and as for Wednesday now I have no idea. Though I might have written it in my journal and will remember then probably, but I don't have it with me now.

And today. Today is Friday. Can I believe it is Friday? No. My aunt is coming to visit and I am still afraid it is not Friday and I've missed it, or that it is earlier in the week or something. I keep asking if it is friday and i still don't beliueve it. I keep doubting if I am here if if I am asleep in bed or something. It makes me feel crazy and so unsure of myself. I keep thinking I am not making sense though I think I am. Thoguh I do know I keep rambling. Also I got upset because it is 11th Nov. today, which is Friday, for sure, and yesterday, Thursday, I thought the 11th was Saturday even though I knew it was next day. It's so confusing and tiring. This does not happen often and I am glad, but I wish it didn't.

And I only just realized that I haven't asked the question despite the title. is this dissociation or am I just going crazy. probably just going crazy. It takes all my effort just to capitalize everything which is why i'm not bothered. I wish I am certain of my reality. I know I am not in bed asleep but maybe I am??? It freaks me out.. I wish I knew for sure and didnt keep wondering.

[kimmydawn]

(((((((((((((((((Silver))))))))))))))))))

I don't know what might be going on with you right now, but I am VERY concerned. Will you promise me to call your doctor tomorrow and explain what's going on with you these last couple of days? Will you please do that for me?

Silver, have you been sleeping? I'm right here waiting for your response.

Love,

KD

[ozzie]

(((((((((((((Silver)))))))))))))))) Please take good care of yourself. PM me if you'd like to.

[silver_queen]

I wish I didnt keep refusing ppl wanting me to go to dr, been way too many times this year, and dont like it. Am probably just tired, is 04.23 am. Besides, my aunt is coming today (Friday) and they always give such weird times at dr appts, like 10 minutes after I ring. How am I supposed to get there is 10 minutes???

Anyway yes I have been sleeping, except last night but I still got 6hrs which does not matter with 12 hrs the nights before. Prob just because have not been eating properly, and various mistures of pills etc, probably I really am crzy lol.

[Fuzzybear]

I was thinking that irregular sleeping and feeding... erm eating schedule would very likely be contributing to this.

But I agree that a doctors visit sounds a good idea (pot... kettle?? ...)

((((((((((((((((Silver)))))))))))))))))

[silver_queen]

Thanks (((((((((((((( Ozzie )))))))))))))))

[silver_queen]

And fuzzy... pots and kettles go well together yes. but dr... call me stubborn/ stupid/ whatver and too many questions at dr's. am I eating ok, they ask? Ummmmm. well. i take multivitamins at best. anything else? kind of. any other problems? nope, depression manageable, no S, no SI, dont see things, hear things that aren't there.

We know drs here... will prob be given a pill and told to come back next week. and even then, I will be told it's all prozac-induced or something. courtesy of missing it for two weeks.

[CedarS]

I encourage you to tell the doc everything. Even if you think they won't listen or will just chalk it up to missing your meds. Tell them everything, maybe they will hear you, and it should all go into your records.

(((((((((((((((((((Silver)))))))))))))))))

[silver_queen]

Ok. then maybe monday. When I'll have nothing to talk about. lol. I can't do it today though, since my aunt is coming and I don't know when she'll be leaving, and it's kind of take it or leave it with the appts, if I refuse the one I'm offered, it's goodbye. she will probably be leaving at 3 or 4pm at the latest. plus i can't even remember who my dr is. my orinal one went on leave and I got somebody to replace that dr but I can't remember her name. but ok. I will ring before I go to collect my aunt and will try to get an appt later in the day. not sure how likely it is: everyone seems to want an appt on fri. probably because the dr closes all sat. and sun.

[CedarS]

Good deal, sounds like a plan. As for name of doc, if you don't remember, they should have it in their computers somewhere.

((((((((Silver))))))))

(((((((Silver))))))))))))

I know how tough it can be to get to see a dr. I'm hoping you find it easy to arrange an appointment with yours. I agree that it sounds like you need to go. Take care of yourself, OK?

Caroline

[eXdreamer]

Hello, silver!

Have you considered this to be some form of OCD? I mean, I don't really remember the particulars of what I did yesterday or the day before, or when I did a particular thing, and it really doesn't matter, since you cannot change what happened. Try to focus on the future and what you want to do. And btw. I had a similar problem to yours when I was about 11 or 12, but can't remember if it was before or during I was on some kind of meds (maybe they're the problem?). As for you not knowing what day it is, that is obviously an obsession, in my opinion, since you can check that fact at any point. What helps me with these kinds of things is not relying on external sources to confirm your reality. Like, try to remember when someone is comming without writting it down. If you get it wrong, so what? Do that as an excercise and be happy when you get it right

Take care ,

eX

to a certain extent everyone dissociates. Dissociation is just daydreaming - a persons mind is so busy thinking about other things so they don't know what they are doing physically. for example someone driving a car down a street they have traveled many times before so instead of thinking about how to drive the car (step on brake here, put flashers on here) the person is thinking about their day, the shopping list and so on. Suddenly they notice they are where they set out to go. the drive seems shorter then normal but they were so busy thinking of other things that they dont remember each and every time they stepped on the brake, turned the flashers on and so on. This is normal. so the fact that you cant remember one day or two could be normal. you remembered your relative was coming so most likely your dissociation level is well in the normal range and you were just preoccupied with other things then what day it was. Besides a dissociative disorder causing something like this meds and sleeping alot or not sleeping enough (sleep depravation) can cause Disorientation. Theres so many things this could be that its better not to self diagnose this . a famil;y physician can rule out medical problems anda psychiatrist or psychologist can diagnose the problem if it is dissociative disorders or other mental problems associated with memory problems with a comprehensive psychological evaluation. My blog has the procedure for this testing listed on it. good luck with whatever this turns out to be.

[Mahali]

I think the important thing here is that this is causing discomfort and stress in your life as opposed to some thing that is normal.

I agree the best advice is to see professionals. Get to the bottom of what is causing this. If it falls in the range of something that is "normal" then perhaps knowing that can decrease your stress level.

In any case seeing a professional will help to diagnose and treat this. I personally don't believe the question is a sign of you being crazy or in any way stupid. Asking about things that are causing concern is the most "noncrazy" thing.

Good luck silver and take care.

place

[silver_queen]

(((((((((((((((( Sarah ))))))))))))))))

(((((((((((((((( Caroline ))))))))))))))))

((((((((((((((( dreamer )))))))))))))) I'll think about what you say and research it. Good on you for posting, lol

(((((((((((((( myself )))))))))))))))) great informative reply there . I didn't know there was disorientation as a conditon, will look it up. I do agree that other things can cause this, like yes not sleeping enough and/ or not eating properly etc, but Ido think that my sleeping is ok, maybe a little irregular, but I do think I'm getting enough (except for last night/ this morning lol) ... but I'm not feeling tired today so I'm not concerned.

((((((((((((((((( place )))))))))))))))))

Thanks for your comfort. I realize I was freaking out a bit too much last night but I don't like being like this, it kind of scares me. But I agree that knowing if this is normal will help me, I think, or maybe it won't, idk. Thanks

Thanks, everyone, for your support. I got some sleep but went back to sleep when my alarm went off so I missed ringing drs in the limited time they offer appts (8.30-8.45/9.00 by which time all appts for day have been booked). I rang again a few mins ago and they offered me one on the hour, which gave me literally two minutes to get there, which is impratcial since it's 15min walk away. Also it was with a nurse practioner, I am not sure what that is but I don't think it's as qualified as a dr.

As for today things have kind of imrpoved but not that much, but at least I know for certain that it's Friday, 11th November. it's kind of hard being totally uncertain of the date and it not making sense, like it's meaningless. I did meet my aunt and we went around the shops, though already it's hazy and unclear grr. but i know we had a good day. and it poured down too at one point when we were out, grr.

[allthegirls6]

Silver,

When I lose time its becasue im not myself, or in technical speak, im dissociating. Its when someone else is around that im not really communicating with. Its just about as scary as it gets. Its like being alive, but not having a clue how im doing it.

Is there anyone inside who can help you with this? Anyone you can ask what has been happening?

Please let us know what comes of this. You gotta speak to your T or doc. Its really important that you do this.

Have friends or family noticed something amiss? Maybe they could fill in the blanks.

Oh you are in my thought cos this is such a scary thing to happen and I really know how you feel.

atg

[Mahali]

I can understand why this would scare you. I think it is cause for concern.

I would write as much as I could down for the Dr. of the signs and symptoms. Also for you to be able to track the days and events. In my opinion it sounds a bit much to be "normal" but a professional could tell you more.

A nurse practitioner is as far as I know kind of half way between a nurse and a Dr. I think they are often more focused and in depth because of their position but that is just my experience. I suppose it depends on the person like any thing else.

I hope you can see somebody soon.

Take care.

place

[silver_queen]

((((((((((( atg ))))))))))))

There's nobody really who can tell me what happened on Tuesday, I don't know ppl at uni well enoguh to ask them if I was in classes on that day. I don't have any others so I can't blame it on them and I live with my flatamtes andagain, we all just kind of do our own thing and I don't they'd notice if i stayed in my room for a week. I don'r have a t. I could go to the uni counselling service but I spent practicall all last year there and I feel i've kind of outstayed my welcome there... and also some of the sessions brought on what I know for certain was depersonalisation, from the symptoms, and that sometimes last up to two weeks, not good... but the counsellor said it was anxiety and didn't understand what I meant when I tried to explain what it was like. So I don't want to go back and be misunderstood again. But I do have the option of going to the counselling service if I want it, but it would be kind of embarrassing for me.

[silver_queen]

Yes place, I am going to write down the synptoms, otherwise I will probably miss things out or not explain things fully. A good suggestion of yours! m planning on seeing dr on monday, if I get an appt.

Thanks for tellling me what the nurse practioner is, I didn't know you have them there too.

[Zorah]

{{{{{silver}}}}}

My thoughts are with you

Disorientation is not a disorder just a symptom. it means not sure of what is going on all the time in other words foggy headed, slow motion far away feeling. at least thats what I call it. the medical book I have (tabors) says "inability to estimate direction or location or to be cognizant of time or of persons" basically a foot long word meaning when a person has trouble keeping track of people, places and time. Sorry if I threw you with that word. Glad to hear you got some sleep. take care.

[__zh]

Silver,

that's great to be writing down all the things so that you'll have a clear list to go from when you get an appt. as others have mentioned sleep and eating factor into this as well as medications.

have you considered looking up your posts here or any journal/blog you have from when you started meds til now to see how if there is any reflection of what you've been describing? we can see a noticable difference in our own posts from our recent medication change. just a thought for your consideration.

good luck and please keep the appt when you get it.