Would this be considered an eating disorder?

I'm a meth addict, that's no secret. I used to use to have fun and loosen up but I no longer use for those reasons. One of the major reasons I still use is because it helps me lose weight. I've lost 15 pounds in the last month. I'll go between one and three days without eating anything at all and then I'll eat one meal and go again without eating for awhile. During this time of going without food, I drink water or gatoraide or sometimes a sweet soda. I usually always end up dehydrated (urine is dark yellow) and in bed sick for a day. During that day I do not use, I just rebuild my strength and start over the next day. So basically I go usually three days on dope without food and then one day off dope where I eat and drink fluids and rest up so I can start over the next day. I know this is not healthy, but dieting just wasn't working for me at all and I knew this would work. What do you think? Eating disorder mixed with my drug addiction or just plain addiction? I don't want to use anymore, I really don't. But I'd rather be physically fit than how I was looking.

To me it sounds like an eating disorder or the beginnings of one. Also it may be a good idea to check yourself into a rehab of some sort. or atleast talk to someone . Meth is some pretty nasty stuff..

bam its part of being addicted to meth. Let me tell ya its not a way to live. I have a cousin who use to do meth. I know what happens cause i saw her go through it. She was nothing but skin and bones. Im sure u want to be fit but is it worth ur life? Meth kills. i aint gonna sugar coat it. But im serious. I saw my cousin in her worse state. She was a walking skeleton. Im worried about you. I seriously am. I dont want you to go through what she went through. Im sure that u heard this all before. But really think about it? do u want to be healthy and live a long life, or do u want to be dead in a year or two. There are no 50 year old meth addicts. Im not trying to be mean. Please understand. Im just worried about ya. But i cant tell u what to do. I can only tell that meth is the evil drug. If you want i can have u talk to my cousin online. She can tell u all she been through. If you need to talk PM me.

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BamaSurvivor said:
But I'd rather be physically fit than how I was looking.

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That statement jumped right out at me when I read your post. Whether or not you have an eating disorder doesn't seem nearly as important as addressing the distorted thinking of that one statement. Think about it...do you really believe that you are more "physically fit" using meth than not using it?

Eating disorder or not, you have bought into one of the most common body distortions there is...that being thinner means being healthier, regardless of anything else. The truth is, you will be healthier and *more* physically fit if you stop using and maybe gain back that 15 pounds than if you continue to use. And I don't know you personally, but I've known plenty of people in similar circumstances, and I'll bet that people will think you look better, too. Because what you're doing to lose weight really ends up making people look wasted and sick, not physically fit at all.

I've heard many people talk about recovery from alcohol and drug addiction, and the general wisdom seems to be that it's important to attack the addiction first, and worry about the food second. I know that can be really hard to do, but you need to get priorities straight. It's not worth continuing to use something that is going to kill you for vanity.

If you are really concerned about being fit, then why don't you deal with fitness rather than weight? Work on adding activity to your day, take walks, do yoga, start an exercise program, go swimming at the Y, anything that gets your body moving. It will help you be really fit, and not just this fake "fitness" your are imitating by starving yourself. And, as an added bonus, it will also help with your recovery.

Good luck,
Jo

Thanks for the responses.

I know what meth does to a person. Watched my sister go through it and my brother died a heroin addict. I know the meth isn't healthy for me and will eventually either kill me or make me a walking dead person. I don't want that. But at the same time I've tried everything to lose weight. Tried exercising daily, eating right, different diets, even diet pills. When I lost 5 pounds in one week from using meth, I seen that would be the easy way to lose the weight.

I do want to stop using, it's tearing my life apart. I just know I have to find something positive to take it's place before I quit using or I'll go back to using within a matter of weeks probably.

Bama,

RX diet pills did not work 4 you, Including Christmas trees or Black Beauties? (Names folks gave them eons ago!!)

TGC

Not sure I know what Christmas Trees or Black Beauties are? I've tried Yellow Jackets, along with several other stimulant diet pills. Have also tried Relacore and a few others like that.

NONE of those over the counter 'diet aids' is going to work any sort of miracle for your weight. Most of them are not much more than a multi-vitamin with maybe some caffeine, but those that do have more can be quite dangerous. And meth, of course, is not good for you.

Aside from the obvious -- get some help with your addiction, get some counseling to help with the body image distortions, etc -- I guess I'd tell you that it's worth talking to your doctor. Methamphetamine will destroy areas of your brain, but apparently dexamphetamine has some neuroprotective properties that can even help prevent some of the damage from meth. Maybe your doctor could help you transition from meth to dex, while you're working out your issues and working on getting clean? Probably not, but you never know.

I hope you'll think about what life will be like when your brain is damaged and your kidneys are failing from all this. At least drink enough water and Gatorade to stay hydrated. Kidney failure is no fun.

Bama, the way you're eating will make you physically even sicker. Maybe you'll have lost weight, but it is totally screwing up your metabolism and so the weight loss won't be permanent. I can't claim to understand how meth affects your motivation, but if you can swing this, then eat regular meals and get some exercise. Even if it means just going for a walk for an hour... exercise and regular meals are going to get you to lose the weight permanently.

Just don't mess with your metabolism. It's a recipe for physical disaster.

My health has already went down majorly. Yesterday was the first time I had ate anything since Thursday. I was very sick. Having hot flashes that turned into cold chills and vice versa. Was sick to my stomach and had a major headache. I get like this about once a week since I've started using again. While I'm using, I can't eat. I've tried. It makes me physically sick and I puke it right back up. All I can do is drink fluids. I'll sleep for one night and wake up the next morning and eat once or twice now and rest plenty and then start over the next day for a few days. I've lost a total of 20 pounds as of recently, since I started using again. I hate F'ing with my body like this, but I'm losing weight and that's what I want. Plus it'd be really hard for me to get off dope right now with our finances in the shape they are in. Don't have the money to go to rehab right now, I'm not going to put that financial strain on my parents. When i get the money to go, I'll go. Until then it's using.

But doesn't meth cost money, too?

And remember... the way you're losing weight is going to make your weight worse.

It seems to me that you're having a difficult time seeing long-term, and can only focus on short-term, immediate gratification. I'm so sorry to hear that. Good luck to you,

LMo

Yes, meth costs money... But not for me. My sisters boyfriend is a dope dealer and user. He and she both give me my meth for free 95% of the time. I've only had to pay for meth a couple times. So see, it's easy access for me. Harder to quit when it comes so freely.

Yeah, I guess so.

What's his motivation for giving you free meth when it obviously costs HIM money? I never understood that. I mean, I could hazard some pessimistic guesses, but I'd be interested to hear your perspective.

Are you working these days? Is your using interfering with that?

and what happened to your boyfriend? Wouldn't he rather have you be a bit heavier but off meth? Anybody who truly loves you would prefer some girlie curves over an unhealthy lifestyle.

He says (the dealer) since I'm Stephs sister, I get free dope. He makes it, so it doesn't cost him that much. Meth is cheap to make, higher to sell. He says I'm his "guinea pig". I get to test out all the meth before he sells it, basically.

Justin doesn't know... He thinks that because I've been sick lately, my appetite has decreased and that's why the weight is coming off. I think he has suspecions of me using, because he asked me about the bags under my eyes this past weekend and said, "You better not be doing any ***** again, Stacy.", but that's as far as it went. I WANT to quit using, I really do. It's just easier said than done.

Bama, I'm sorry for you. I hope you can get some help soon.

I hope so, too... It'd be nice to live a happy, joyous, and free life once again.

You know, I imagine that you're probably feeling like the situation is hard to control. Can I suggest a baby step... at least going for a long walk once a day, maybe with your sister or a girlfriend? At least try to put some exercise into your routine -- you'll feel a bit better about yourself, and you can add more healthy things into your day as things progress.

Can you try that?

I already walk a lot each day. I was walking everyday at the track (a mile), but then Justin and me got together and we walk a lot. He lives on a loooong uphill dirt road and his friend lives about half a mile up that hill and we go over there almost everyday. He'd rather walk than drive, so we do. Staying away from my sister is the best thing for me. I do dope when around my sister, so I try staying away, which doesn't work well but at least I try. I don't have but one friend and she just had my god son. I've told her I wanted her to come walk with me some to get her baby fat off but she won't. I damn sure aint walking by myself. Too many rapists and murderers around here. *shiver*

Right now my body is too weak to walk. I'm staying home today to relax. Last time I slept was Thursday. Finally took a nap this morning. Ate a cheeseburger as well. My body is weak right now from not eating much and having very little sleep. I'll start over tomorrow.

Well, that's good that you've been doing it already. Glad you could eat something and sleep today. Maybe get some frozen broccoli or something and try to get that down as well.

frozen broccoli, you trying to make me sick? haha! I'm going to boil me some chicken in a little bit if I can find the energy to do so. Make me a chicken salad. Sooo weak right now. Can barely type without making a dozen mistakes that I have to fix. Will be glad to get a full nights rest tonight.

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BamaSurvivor said:
He says (the dealer) since I'm Stephs sister, I get free dope. He makes it, so it doesn't cost him that much. Meth is cheap to make, higher to sell. He says I'm his "guinea pig". I get to test out all the meth before he sells it, basically.

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Please be careful, that sounds incredibly dangerous (beyond just the plain dangerousness of drugs). How do you know he isn't a.) making a mistake or b.) tainting the stuff to get more "bang for his buck" so to speak? Just be careful.

That's just part of the territory when it comes to meth. You never know how "pure" the meth is or how "dirty" it is until you smoke/snort/shoot it up. I smoke and snort it, I don't do needles. You can tell the purity of it by how it tastes and how it makes your body feel. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's not. Just a chance you have to take if you want the drug. Sometimes I get stuff that keeps me energized and up for a few days and sometimes I get stuff that makes me sick within an hour of smoking/snorting it. You can basically buy everything you need to make meth over the counter. Things from sudafed(sp?) all the way to Red Devil Lye to Muriatic Acid... It's got a lot of poisons in it. It's crazy.

ahhhhh yes it does sound like an eating disorder. If you need to take drugs and harm your body that way to lose weight yes. You do need to sign into rehab and look into getting help for your eating issues. Trust me I have struggled with an eating issues since a young girl at 12 and still afraid of getting fat or fatter than i am.